Category Archives: Other Self

Self-letter

May 9 2013

Reloaded: OMFG!

I want you to perform a live demo of this letter for your Toastmasters icebreaker.

I want you to perform a live demo of this letter for your Toastmasters icebreaker.

Dear Har-old,

*pacing back and forth, head down, hand on top of head saying “think, Har-old, think! Think, dammit!*

*bumps into someone*

*Har-old slowly looks at figure from shoes to face then goes unconscious*

*Unconscious for 30 minutes*

*Har-old wakes up eyes hurting and hand rubbing head then hears a voice.*

Person : Are you okay?

Har-old : Yeah, I just had a crazy dream I met my …

Person : Here, let me give you a hand.

Har-old : Thanks!

*Har-old slowly looks at figure from toe to head then starts breathing heavy*

Person : Keep calm … and remember intellectuals tend to talk to themselves more frequently but it takes true genius to vividly see yourself as you would like to be while doing so.

Har-old : Oh my God! Do you … do you know who you are?!

Person : *smiles* Of course! I am you … from the future.

Har-old : What … what happen to your leg and arm?

Person : … You! Ha! Remember that famous photograph from Back To The Future of Marty and his siblings?

Har-old : Yeah, his brother was headless in it.

Person : You remember why?

Har-old : Because Marty was doing things in the past that affected the future.

Person : Now you know why I’m here!

Har-old : … Oh my God, you’re gonna give me a sports almanac that tells the future results of every major sporting event so I can become rich?!?! Yessss! *jumps up and down excitedly*

Person : What?! No, no, no! Calm down! I’m hopping around here on 1 foot and you think I’m here to help you?

Har-old : So you’re not here to help me cheat my way through life?

Person : What?! No! I’m here demanding you help me.

Har-old: Huh … how can I help you?

Person : Because you are in control of me. The best way to predict the future is by creating it today. My future life at 46 got off to a great start. billionaire; top 100 companies to work for; 4 many me’s running around trying to fill daddy’s shoes, etc. Then one by one I started to lose it all. I blamed everyone but myself. When I had no one else to blame, that’s only when I looked on the inside and found the problem … you!

Har-old : *looks left and right and mouths* Me?

Person : *shakes head yes* And now I’m at the last stage of what was once a bright future … losing body parts! Yeah … that too!

Har-old : I lost my kids? *look of disgust* What can I do to brighten everything up again? Please! I’ll do anything! Please!

Person: Very well. I will give you one subject a week that you are to give your strict attention to. 13 in all, allowing you to repeat the process 4 times in a year. Each subject is expanded on with a summary that you are to keep with you at all times as a “pocket remainder.”

  1. Time Manager Revolutionary – The time you kill is killing me.
  2. Body Guard - The hungrier one becomes, the clearer one’s mind works.
  3. Artist of Sex Transmutation – If you spent on your work one half the time you dissipate in pursuit of sex, you will never know poverty.
  4. Master of Emotions – A fixed positive response.
  5. Prisoner of Patience– Sit and watch the grass grow.
  6. Master of Appearances – Make your face as malleable as the actor’s.
  7. Fine Decision Maker– Get in the habit of reaching decisions quickly and definitely, and changing them slowly, if at all.
  8. Great Communicator  – A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
  9. Bookish Applicant - Too often what we read and profess becomes a part of our libraries and our vocabularies, instead of becoming a part of our lives. (You’re wasting your time reading if you’re NOT applying.)
  10. Genius Level Planner – Think and feel beyond the present moment.
  11. Action Figure - DO IT NOW!
  12. Freedom Fighter – Lower level of inhibition.
  13. Master Mind – Success in the higher bracket of achievement is something that can be had only by taking others along with you.

Person : If you successfully complete this list, in one year, I will not only get back what I lost, I will have the ability to never live without it again.

Har-old : I don’t know what to say … thanks Har-old!

Person : Well don’t say that because if you successfully complete this list you will take the old out of your name and put in the new.

Futuristically yours,

Har+new

P.S. Each letter in some way will expand on the subjects and summaries.

Siblings:

Feb 18 2013
Aside

Hold up the mirror. Sell people their ideal self. Appeal to their better selves. Not who they was in the past. Or, who they are now. Sell them their future-self. Motivate them. Push them to greatness. They’re standing over the edge of this mediocre building. You can pull them back by discouraging them and appealing to the basest of their character. Or, you can push them so they can fly to an elevated status. *epic pause* Push ‘em!

Unrealized Ideals

Jan 5 2013

What’s The CEO Of Your Mind?

Dear Har-old,

You’re not a businessman.

You are a business, man! the difference a comma makes

Think like one.

Your dominating thoughts – the CEO.

Your submissive thoughts – the coffee-getting intern.

You are going out of business losing your mind.

Why?

Because the CEO is producing crappy products bad actions that’s causing us to lose customers good reactions and it’s affecting our bottom line confidence.

The only reason this suit and tie negative thinking CEO is the leader of this black turtleneck, blue jeans, running shoes company potentially great mind is because it has won over the employees habits.

While the other employees seeds of the bad thoughts don’t bother to hold their head high enough to notice a glass ceiling the future, the intern uses it as a mirror  be present and sees himself in it ideal self in the future is achievable.

When will that  intern throw rocks at the glass ceiling so pieces of it can fall and cut the other employees?! kill seeds of doubt/get away from negative influences

When will that fucking CEO jump up out of its throne screaming at the top of its lungs because the intern spilled hot ass coffee on the boss’s lap?! kill that negative voice in your head

I’ll tell you when …

When you  develop single-mindedness.

Focus, Har-old, focus!

One of the definitions of distraction says, “mental confusion.”

Make you laugh. Make you cry. Make you knowledgable. Make you dumb.

With such contrasts no wonder why our desk mind has scattered papers scattered thoughts on it preventing us from finding that gold paper having single-minded focus in the Age Of Distraction we’re looking for.

With your fist firmly pressed down on the gold paper, swipe, swipe, swipe until it’s the only one left and the rest are trashed. You Need To Go On A Clutter Diet

Lean that “corporate” ladder against the CEO’s body and let the intern climb it. Har+new takes over Har-old’s mind once and for all and no more relapses

And don’t be surprised if WHEN the CEO pulls the intern up once the knee level is reached. Har-old is tired of being on the outside looking in

Futuristically Yours,

Har+new

Related Reads:

Sep 22 2012
Aside

Out of frustration, you took a break from your 13 subjects and summaries. This Sunday, give them your strict attention once again. To avoid frustrating yourself again, set one goal per day in connection with that week’s subject. Most importantly, accomplish it. Things are easier said than done. For example, when you say you want patience to be your shield, it means nothing. However, when you are in a situation where your patience is being tried and you recognize it but still blunder then that’s a transgression. Conquering moments like that is the process to mastering your subjects. If moments like that don’t come to you then put yourself in them.

13

Feb 6 2012
Aside

Ms. Me you are on your way. Always remember if you can envision where you want to go and how you want to get there you can do it! Keep painting that picture both mentally and physically through the steps you’re taking to reach your goals. I’m so proud of you! Don’t you ever stop for NO ONE!

“I talk like this cuz I can back it up!”-Beyonce, Ego

FY

Mrs. ???

Success Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

Sep 22 2011

Decisions, Decisions

Hello Bernadette My Dear!

This is a letter from yours truly (as in your true future self from the future) (we could all use a little redundancy in our lives sometimes).  I’m just letting you know that this would be a most opportune time to figure out what the heck you’re going to be doing with your life!!  Yeah, I remember this period of our life.  It gets hard.  and confusing.  and you have no idea what you’re supposed to decide.  You’re dealing with a whole lot of pressure from people who want you to succeed.  Believing in yourself is not the problem, you’ve got that down.  No, the problem is, are you going to be happy?  Are you going to like your career choice?  Are you going to have good relationships?  Is all this what you have been destined to do?  Are you going to be genuinely content?  I’ve been there (obviously) and I know its tough, but it does end and you end up being me!  (It’s awesome, trust me.)

“Wait,” you say, “you’re future me.  So can’t you just tell me what to decide and if it’s a good decision?”  Ha!  Wouldn’t you like to know?  But no, you’re a clever girl.  You know that people should only be privy to past and present information.  Unless, of course, it’s a letter from your future self giving advice.  Those are always okay.  ;)

So anyways, all I have to say to you right now is gear up and get ready.  It’ll be rough and frustrating and so worthwhile.  You’ll learn to decide for yourself and you’ll be great and happy and lovely.

FY, (Thanks to Har-new, I’ve been permitted to close like this)

Bernadette from the /fjutʃɜr/

P. S. Yes, as you can see, you do eventually get the hang of IPA.

P. P. S. Doctor Who, still awesome.

Aug 31 2011

Take A Leap Of Faith

Dear Trista,

You have it in you to produce extraordinary results, so quit putting yourself second place at the race!!!  People feed off of your careless attitude when you strive to reach your goals, they are your cheerleaders beckoning you to win whilst the haters . . . are haters. If you have them then you must be doing something right.

Take a look at your little brother! He’s in ROTC and you are still back in the college saying that you’re going to join the military because you are waiting on a so-called bachelors degree to be an officer? Bullshit! I call total bullshit whether it’s a good idea or not. You should’ve been willing to take up on the offer when the pie was being served . . .so for now you can get away with that bullshit answer, but later when you have it . . . are you going to take that leap? The leap that will define your whole life and judge you based on your fears. Will this fear be the one that you’ve been dreaming of the whole time you’ve been making plans for it? Or will it be the one to your deathbed praying for more life?

I’d like to think it be your deathbed because there’s no time to waste in this life and you’ve made a decision. People don’t even get that far sometimes, so feel blessed with the presence of your spiritual leader guiding you in the right direction.

YOU WILL SUCCEED and BE GREAT.

Knock ‘em dead today. Get shit done!

FY,

Tris-transformation.

Aug 29 2011

There’s No Rest For The Wicked

Dear  Trista,

Recently you’ve gotten to your sleepless lawyer mode where everything appears to be typical and right down to the very books. But two books have found their way to you that will change the rest of your life and how you see things . . . forever. The first book called Tapping The Source will teach you how to connect to the universe and slip into the harmony of the ways of our creator because by all means you were created in his/her/ its image so you are perfect anyways. The knowledge that you are sucking up like a sponge I cannot even begin to explain.

The second book called the Celestine Prophecy will teach you how human beings are evolving and your generation is beginning to notice certain things the generations before did not have the capacity to . . . who knows maybe one day you will know the reason why we are on this planet to begin with. While you are on your journey and spiritual conquest I suggest you take it easy today and take care of business in a light motion to where it feels like a breeze underneath your heavenly wings.

Best regards!

FY,

Tris-Transformation

Aug 25 2011

Yesterday’s Road Philosophy

From my friend Peter Thomson with paraphrases from me for you, Har-old:

Think forward in time to the point where you wish you would have achieved a certain result and imagine you haven’t achieved it.

Sit down with a piece of paper answering the question, “If only I’d . . . I would have achieved it.” What are those dots?

Write whatever ideas come to mind. If your mind gives you an answer, don’t question it at this stage. You can edit later.

Reason this works so well is that it uses the two main feelings that causes us to take action, that’s pain and pleasure. The avoidance of pain and the gaining of pleasure.

If you feel like you ought to have achieved the result and you’re telling yourself you haven’t then you are strongly prompted to look for solutions.

Why?

Because you’ve triggered away motivation. Away motivation is the catalyst for action. Towards motivation prompts the continuation of action.

Another way to gain is to imagine you wanted to achieve a certain result by a certain time and that Yes! you did do it. With the positive feelings in mind, actually imagine the pleasure you will experience. Remembering you’re imagining you HAVE done it not that you will do it. Answer the question, “I did it because I’d …” What are those dots?

Again. Write down whatever your mind says.

Another way is to take a random noun. This can be picked from a dictionary or book. Ask your mind to associate that noun with the problem, opportunity or circumstances at hand. By making your mind make strange associations and connections, you will be surprised at what answers float into your consciousness. It’s reported that Edward De Bono, the man responsible for the expression, lateral thinking, used the word cheese to come up with the idea of televisions with picture-in-picture. Taking the word cheese and thinking what cheese has that t.v could have. Holes? What holes? Eventually leading to holes in the screen to see what was on the other channels.

FY,

Har+new

Related articles
Aug 16 2011

A World Full of Hurt

Dear Trista,

Good morning more like it, an inner fear of rejection and hostility is boiling inside of you … just take it easy, 8 hours isn’t so bad, you’ll be in a world of hurt but so will everyone else. Also, you did the right the thing by calling the authorities last night for all that racket your neighbors put on because Dear Trista you need sleep, In fact when you go home tonight GET SOME SLEEP. The blood test might have to wait another day but that’s okay this job is temporary and so is your fears…I’m here  to guide you, you are not alone on this journey.  Close your eyes … breathe softly … repeat after me … happy mind … peaceful mind … holy mind … dig deep into your soul and awake the inner happiness kept deep within, and bring it forth to shine upon day and get you right where you belong.

Futuristically yours,

-Tris-Transformation.

Aug 15 2011

Back Bone Of Steel

Dear Trista,

Life so far has been a tangled web full of disappointment and clarity, but in order to get through the Halloween woods once more, you must look past the gloomy trail into the gingerbread forest. The job search is hard because you are barely beginning a conquest that will lead you far into success. The employers are bouncing at you because you are their ideal candidate for the brain washed associate realm. Just pick the easiest way to put a smile on your face rather than frown, even if the dollar signs are higher on one side than the other. Get through the day and breathe deep because you survived another minute, and accomplished far more than you’ll ever know.

Futuristically yours,

-Tris-transformation

Aug 10 2011

Can My Violence Conquer Yours?

Joker to Batman in the interrogation room

Don’t talk like one of them, you’re not! Even if you’d like to be. To them, you’re just a freak – like me! They need you right now, but when they don’t … they’ll cast you out. Like a leper. See, their morals, their code: it’s a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They’re only as good as the world allows them to be. I’ll show you. When the chips are down, these, uh… these civilized people, they’ll eat each other. See, I’m not a monster; I’m just ahead of the curve.

Joker to Batman at the end

You see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little push!

Conversation between Teddy Daniels and the Warden from Shutter Island

Warden: Did you enjoy God’s latest gift?

Teddy Daniels: What?

Warden: God’s gift. The violence (storm).

[Daniels looks at him blankly]

Warden: When I came downstairs in my home, and I saw that tree in my living room, it reached out for me like a divine hand. God loves violence.

Teddy Daniels: I … I hadn’t noticed.

Warden: Sure you have. Why else would there be so much of it? It’s in us. It’s what we are. We wage war, we burn sacrifices, and pillage and plunder and tear at the flesh of our brothers. And why? Because God gave us violence to wage in his honor.

Teddy Daniels: I thought God gave us moral order.

Warden: There’s no moral order as pure as this storm. There’s no moral order at all. There’s just this: can my violence conquer yours?

Teddy Daniels: I’m not violent.

Warden: Yes you are! You’re as violent as they come. I know this, because I’m as violent as they come. If the constraints of society were lifted, and I was all that stood between you and a meal, you would crack my skull with a rock and eat my meaty parts. Wouldn’t you?

End of conversation

Warden: If I was to sink my teeth into your eye right now, would you be able to stop me before I blinded you?

Teddy Daniels: Give it a try.

Warden: That’s the spirit.

Har-old, you are living on the edge. You have only 2 things maintaining your sanity. Only 2 things. Only TWO things … keeping you “Human” Har-old. If you lose both of those things, you will go from “Human” Har-old to “Animal” Har-old. Monday, you created a situation where you could have LOST one of them. And because the other thing is in its development stage, it would have been easy for you to lose that one too, through impatience.

Har-old, I NEED YOU to stay human and create some distance from this growl in your stomach. DO NOT LISTEN TO YOUR STOMACH!

How?

Add more things to the list of things keeping you sane. This can be another entrepreneurial idea, a person, money, a challenge, delivering a message, love, kids, etc.

But these things cannot be futuristic. Why? Because you are STILL impatient. So, only things that you can have RIGHT NOW.

With only 2 things maintaining your sanity, someone doesn’t have to push you off the edge, instead they can just *blow* on you.

Don’t make an impact on the sidewalk; make an impact on the world.

Futuristically yours,

Har+new

Jul 19 2011

Your Darkest Hour

The world will look up and shout, “SAVE US!” and I’ll look down and whisper, “No!”

Your kid is in the backseat playing with their toy steering wheel. You make them believe every turn, every horn honk and every swerve, they committed. But the truth is … you’re in control.

Next drive, you’re riding alone. As you’re driving, the steering wheel shocks and burns your hand. You immediately take your hands off the steering wheel due to the pain. Just as you try to recover and put your hands back on the steering wheel before you crash into something, you realize the car is driving itself.

How does it feel to not be in control? Huh? How does it feel to be a kid again?

The car drives you to this strange house. But your mind’s eye quickly recognizes it.

The front door and all the windows in the home are wide open. You enter. The door and all the windows slam shut as you step foot in the house.

You twist and turn the knob. The glass windows are unbreakable. You cannot get out.

A voice whispers, “There is only one light switch in the house.”

You take out a box of matches and light one. But you have to shake your hand as the fire burns your finger tips.

You run out of matches fast because the house … is just too damn big.

Now you’re running into things, hitting your shin, reaching out to let your hand guide you.

You rub on the wall high and low trying to find that one light switch.

Crawling and climbing stairs because your legs are out. Sitting in the corner. All you can think about is light-from the sun, from a flashlight, from the day, from a candle, from a match, from a cellphone, whatever!

Why close your eyes and meditate? You’re already in complete darkness.

Hey, hey … look at me. LOOK AT ME!!! YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO FIND THAT SWITCH!

You know why? Because you have looked for it on a wall. The switch is on you. It’s your mind, your brain, your thoughts. Now there’s that light-bulb on the top of your head I’ve been waiting to see, Har-old.

That’s all the light you need.

Grudges and negative thoughts are Living Rent Free In Your Mind. It’s their job to dim and make that bulb flicker.

It’s time you show others this dark side. Most will keep rubbing walls, few will use that bulb on the top of their head. And oh, give them only an hour. When their time is up, you hold secrets flame. That means you think for them, thus adding to your power.

You have three sources of light in the darkness: Your head-bulb, secrets flame and surprisingly your very own eyes because the longer you stay in the darkness, the better your sight becomes.

Futuristically yours,

Har+new

Jul 19 2011

I Might As Well Eat Grass

 Cj27,

Why are you so burdened with worries?

You worry everyday about whether or not I achieved the goals I set for my life. Only you know and understand that some days my life was as fun as a lazy cow grazing in an empty field. Some days I was so bored with my life, I might as well eat grass. And so, you wonder if I ever escaped the endless routine of my life – investigating complaints that I do not care about or feel the need to care about. I wish I could tell you to stop worrying. I wish I could tell you that everything is great. But I can’t. You see, our destinies are inextricably woven. My fate is tied to yours. Who I am now is dependent on the choices that you make.

I cannot tell you if everything is great or if I achieved all the things you want me to achieve at this age. You will have to see that for yourself when you get a chance to meet me. Never-the-less, I can tell you one thing that I want you to stop doing.

For heaven sakes… STOP PANICKING.

I know you feel a sense of urgency. I know you feel that your life is like an untidy room. You really want it clean but you just don’t know where to start. Stop panicking. Be still and you will hear the voice. Just start cleaning. You start to clean and in no time the room is spotless.

STOP PANICKING.

Do you remember that time when you were sitting in your car at the parking lot and you saw a car reversing straight into your car? All you could hear is a voice screaming in your head. STOP! YOU ARE GOING TO HIT MY CAR. STOP! LOOK AROUND DUMBO. STOP!!! Your hands sweated, your heart pounded and still, the voice in your head screaming loudly and endlessly.

…Then the loud crashing sound of metal crushing into metal and the jerk that silenced the screams in your head.

The answer was so simple. Just honk your horn. However, you didn’t do that. You didn’t hear the answer because you panicked. Sometimes life is like that, the answer is simple but you will never figure it out if you panic. Be still and you will hear the voice…

Just honk your horn.

Futuristically yours,

Cj40.