College Students Threaten Random Stabbings Over The Bachelor Degree Of Paula Cooper

Image via Twitter

Image via Twitter

They’re not collectively dropping the soap because she got “in trouble 23 times during her time in prison.”

They’re not sharpening their toothbrushes into shanks because she won’t at least spend a year in prison for each stab (33 vs. 27) on 78-year-old Bible school teacher Ruth Pelke.

They’re not taking the laces out of their shoes to strangle people because her and the other 3 girls only got away with $10 in the elderly car.

They, a 47 member (and growing!) college group from Indiana, calling themselves Ramen Noodles, are furious, she, Paula Cooper, who was released yesterday, walked out of prison with a bachelor’s degree on the taxpayer’s dime. In other words, a free education! Here are some reactions from Ramen Noodles:

She gets a bachelor’s degree in prison and I’m struggling to get financial aid. Maybe I need to stab someone!

And who do you think paid for that bachelor’s degree?! This is Bullshit!

Does she have to pay back the tens of thousands of dollars in student loans–like I (and so many other law-abiding citizens) have to pay????

I couldn’t afford to go to college. I should have just killed someone and gotten my three squares, free health care AND a college degree all at taxpayers expense!

Man, students today are stupid. Why put yourself in thousands of dollars in debt when you could just stab a woman and get a full scholarship?

i would like to know how she had the right to get a free bachelor’s degree when I have to take out student loans that need to be repaid and pay for what the grants and loans do not cover while paying for my monthly living needs and I am a law-abiding citizen.

Parents also got involved. One chimed:

Also, again I have to see how some prison inmate got a college education on my dime while my kids are struggling to pay their tuition.  I am SO sick of this!

School officials on Indiana college campuses are on high alert after Ramen Noodles threaten that if Paula Cooper doesn’t have to pay back the thousands of dollars her bachelor’s degree was worth they will start randomly stabbing people. They haven’t disclosed whether they will use butcher knives, in reminiscent of the type Cooper used on Pelke.

When we asked what would happen if she got a job (with her degree) before one of them does. Member Krusty Robinson said, “If you work at XYZ company, call in sick if you want to live.” And we’re not sure if that meant they would do the killing or Cooper would. We’ll keep you posted as this story develops!

Built on top of:

Would you join Ramen Noodles?

FY Needs More Authors

Dear whomever this may concern,

FY started out as a conceptual (and it still is) blog, however, it also started out as a group blog with 3 authors and grew from there. I introduced 2 more concepts: Future News and Future Comics (or just comics) that fit perfectly with the theme. I want new authors for those as well as for the original series. So, if you use the following tags almost exclusively, letter to self, motivation, inspiration, life, satire, news, comics, personal, and interested in being a FY author, I would love to send you an invite.

There are a myriad of inconsistent blogs on WordPress. I believe the best way to bridge this gap is through group blogging because if one author decides to go on a month-long hiatus, the blog itself doesn’t suffer because there are other content creators producing on a schedule. And even if you are a one-person blog who is part of “post-a-day,” how much of that is quality? And how many of those posts are free from ideas from The Daily Post?

The flexibility of the reverse-self-letters has been proven. Future News is 17 posts and counting but enough for a prospective author to follow in the “voice.” The comics side is still in its under-development phase with one post but by the 3rd post the people will “get it.”

FY has been here for 2 years, had 12 authors, and STILL under 200 posts. That’s quality over quantity! But it’s time we push this to the 100K milestone and beyond and build a loyal readership!

FY,

Har+new

P.S. I’m open to suggestions! New concepts? Stories? Menu items? Whatever! Hopefully, I get 3 authors out of this post.

Who Burnt The Popcorn Again?!

Remember Burnt Popcorn?

Well, I’m expanding on the idea.

For the future-selves who know their present-self hate reading and are more visually inclined, they can do video-self-letters.

Authors can either do videos for their previously written letters or videos with brand new material.

Videos shouldn’t be longer than 5 minutes.

Different presentation, same concept.

Lights. Camera. Action.

Futuristically yours,

Har+new