Tag Archives: mind games

Your Brains, My Forked Tongue
Oct 10 2011

Eating Brains With My Forked Tongue

Dear Har-old,

American author John Green said,

I am going to take this bucket of water and pour it on the flames of hell, and then I am going to use this torch to burn down the gates of paradise so that people will not love God for want of heaven or fear of hell, but because He is God.

Why is it the older people get, the more susceptible they are to God?

I’m 46 and still my religion-rejecting-self. Because of this, my friends and I don’t hang out as much as we use to. Why? Because they’ve started going to church more, you know, trying to get right with God. It’s not like they don’t invite me to come along, they do, it’s just that I don’t know how to properly turn down the invite …until now.

Friend: Har+new, we should hang out more, come to church with us.

Me: …

Friend: You’re not getting any younger, don’t you want to become closer to God before you pass?

Me: …

Friend: Why aren’t you trying to get closer to God in your old-age?

Me: … Because the Devil doesn’t control my mind.

The older people get, the closer they want their relationship with God to be-the same people whose relationship with him was non-existent in their 20′s. Why? Because being old is associated with dying soon. And this is where the fear of the afterlife happens. People have the wrong conception of Mr. Devil and his place of abode. Har-old, do you remember this conversation as a kid:

Some Person: You’re going to hell!

You: I’m just gone kill myself if I do.

Some Person: You can’t.

You: Why not?

Some Person: Because The Devil just gone keep bringing you back to life so he can continue to torture your soul.

Mr. Devil is NOT kind enough to leave you alone while you are living and merely just tortures your soul after death. No, no, no. HELL IS ON EARTH. You say to yourself:

How is that so? I don’t see a beast with a forked tongue and a spiked tale.

That’s because, Mr. Devil is not handicapped with a physical appearance like us humans. He is a force best described as energy. Negative energy. And when you are energy, you can go WHEREVER you like. So, Har-old, if you were energy, would you STAY in one place - a place that is underground? No, you wouldn’t! You would live in the unused portion of the human brain. Asking people these two questions will let you know how much space you can occupy:

Do you believe people only use 10% of their brain?

How much of a percentage do you think you use consistently?

If they answer yes to the first question, anything under 100% to the second, then, you can live rent free in their head.

If I asked you,

Would you rather have a woman’s body or her mind?

I already know you will answer body because you are still thinking with your below-the-belt head in your hand. When the day comes you answer mind, then that’s when I will know, you have your hand on the top of your above-the-belt head.

There is no physical heaven in the sky or hell in the ground. Well, where do we go after death?  You become lost in your own mind. Now, this could be a good thing, or this could be a bad thing. That’s why it is of the utmost importance you take control of your mind and keep possession of it.

Mr. God controls the body; Mr. Devil, the mind. Based on this, it’s best to emulate the latter than criticize him.

In a future letter, I will tell you what leaves you vulnerable to telepathy and how you can protect yourself from this invasive mind-reading.

FY,

Har+new

P.S. Like the painting? That’s of my doing. Now law for my future letters. I’m also about to update all my past letters with my own visuals.

Related Letters

Sep 6 2011

Masturbating With Imagination

Who left a empty toilet roll in the bathroom?Dear Har-old,

Do you remember Dean Martin‘s Standing On The Corner?

I think she’s on to me.

The other day my/our wife noticed me indulging in my favorite hobby-girl watching.

She knows I’m definitely observant, a people-watcher and I’ve glanced at attractive women before. However, I think what happened the other day struck her as more than a passing glance. Maybe I’m paranoid.

I know what you’re saying, “It’s just girl watching.” Well, it’s actually more . . .

I undress women with my eyes; I stare at them long enough to picture them naked. And … I’m quite accurate! How I know? I did the same thing to her before she actually took it off and *whispers* the dimples was right there . . . the mole too.

Now before you start jumping up and down violently, screaming, “my future-self got superpowers,” I’m sure you will like to hear how you got these “superpowers.”

You simply returned to masturbating with your imagination. You know, how you first started-without any visual stimuli and with only your mind’s eye. Ha! I don’t know why I used the word simple because it wasn’t . . . at all.

Why wasn’t it simple?

Because you became dependent on visual stimuli. Yeah, that damn internet!

You found it 10x easier with porn because you didn’t have to think and you could just focus on pleasure. And those times you did “try” with your imagination again, you complained, “it doesn’t flow and I can’t focus on pleasure and my penis doesn’t get as hard.”

So, instead of jumping from the bottom of the stairs to the top, you took it one step at a time. You did it gradually. You went from video . . . picture . . .  back to imagination.

Kid, you already have a vivid imagination, so use it in ALL areas.

As Mark Twain said,

You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

FY,

Har+new

Aug 25 2011

Yesterday’s Road Philosophy

From my friend Peter Thomson with paraphrases from me for you, Har-old:

Think forward in time to the point where you wish you would have achieved a certain result and imagine you haven’t achieved it.

Sit down with a piece of paper answering the question, “If only I’d . . . I would have achieved it.” What are those dots?

Write whatever ideas come to mind. If your mind gives you an answer, don’t question it at this stage. You can edit later.

Reason this works so well is that it uses the two main feelings that causes us to take action, that’s pain and pleasure. The avoidance of pain and the gaining of pleasure.

If you feel like you ought to have achieved the result and you’re telling yourself you haven’t then you are strongly prompted to look for solutions.

Why?

Because you’ve triggered away motivation. Away motivation is the catalyst for action. Towards motivation prompts the continuation of action.

Another way to gain is to imagine you wanted to achieve a certain result by a certain time and that Yes! you did do it. With the positive feelings in mind, actually imagine the pleasure you will experience. Remembering you’re imagining you HAVE done it not that you will do it. Answer the question, “I did it because I’d …” What are those dots?

Again. Write down whatever your mind says.

Another way is to take a random noun. This can be picked from a dictionary or book. Ask your mind to associate that noun with the problem, opportunity or circumstances at hand. By making your mind make strange associations and connections, you will be surprised at what answers float into your consciousness. It’s reported that Edward De Bono, the man responsible for the expression, lateral thinking, used the word cheese to come up with the idea of televisions with picture-in-picture. Taking the word cheese and thinking what cheese has that t.v could have. Holes? What holes? Eventually leading to holes in the screen to see what was on the other channels.

FY,

Har+new

Related articles
Russell Simmons Meditating
Aug 5 2011

My Butt Itches

No matter what happens, don’t move. If you feel like you have to scratch your nose, don’t move. If your ass itches, don’t move. It will go away. Just sit still. And as the stillness begins to settle, things that are happening on the outside become less important. Some thoughts come into your mind, but you’ll begin to realize how insignificant they are. You’ll find the distractions will eventually disappear. The way you’ll make the distractions disappear is by focusing on your breath.

Har-old, have you noticed every time you find that comfortable spot where you can cross your legs, close your eyes and meditate, you itch … somewhere … your nose, your butt, your head?

Sometimes the uncomfortable sensation of the itch takes control of your thoughts and fills your mind with scratching, eventually forcing your hand.

Other times you ignore the uncomfortable sensation by taking possession of your mind with thoughts of comfortable sensations and the itch just disappears.

Okay. It’s obvious which one I prefer. So, here’s the connection …

The only time a distraction is doing some good is when you’re diverting your attention from something worrying and unpleasant to something different or more pleasurable. Only time.

But when you are doing that “pleasurable” and “desirable” thing and you let something of lesser importance or even another interest distract you, you are scratching your skin completely off. Concentrate on ONE thing at a time. Remember: The jack of all trades is seldom good at any.

This is what I want …

Set aside one day (every week on the same day) as self-organization day. Think and plan for several hours on self-organization day. Every hour for the following week should be scheduled. WRITE YOUR SCHEDULE DOWN! I would tell you to allow room for flexibility but this could be a distraction in itself and cause you to drift. So, make your schedule tight!

Self-organization day will increase your thinking ability and doing of things in their order of importance. The day will improve your foresight and raise your planning level. The day will help you save future time and make you look at yourself in disgust for how unorganized you use to be.

That’s not for me! I can’t do that sort of thing-live on a schedule. I wouldn’t be happy.

Well, I’ve got good news for you. You are already living on a schedule. And, if it’s not a planned one, it’s probably a poor one.

Futuristically yours,

Har+new

Aug 1 2011

Reality Plays Catch Up

Let us live our lives as though all our dreams have come true then challenge reality to catch up.

Har-old, you always wanted to learn to write clearly and legibly with your left hand.

Well, why don’t you learn how to do it, but for real this time?

Consistency is key.

I’m issuing a challenge. Will you accept it?

Practice writing with your left hand.

Each day for 30 days, write one full piece of paper left-handed.

“Clearly and legibly? I will need more time,” you say.

No you won’t!

In order to speed the process, I also want you spend time each and everyday imagining you’re writing clearly and legibly at high-speed.

In your mind, your left-handed writing will look better than your right-handed writing. If the reader of this left-handed writing says, “I can’t read this. It’s totally illegible.” I want you to say, “Reality hasn’t caught up with me yet.”

Futuristically yours,

Har+new

P.S. Har-old, you can write out the letters here. Start with this one.

Jul 19 2011

Your Darkest Hour

The world will look up and shout, “SAVE US!” and I’ll look down and whisper, “No!”

Your kid is in the backseat playing with their toy steering wheel. You make them believe every turn, every horn honk and every swerve, they committed. But the truth is … you’re in control.

Next drive, you’re riding alone. As you’re driving, the steering wheel shocks and burns your hand. You immediately take your hands off the steering wheel due to the pain. Just as you try to recover and put your hands back on the steering wheel before you crash into something, you realize the car is driving itself.

How does it feel to not be in control? Huh? How does it feel to be a kid again?

The car drives you to this strange house. But your mind’s eye quickly recognizes it.

The front door and all the windows in the home are wide open. You enter. The door and all the windows slam shut as you step foot in the house.

You twist and turn the knob. The glass windows are unbreakable. You cannot get out.

A voice whispers, “There is only one light switch in the house.”

You take out a box of matches and light one. But you have to shake your hand as the fire burns your finger tips.

You run out of matches fast because the house … is just too damn big.

Now you’re running into things, hitting your shin, reaching out to let your hand guide you.

You rub on the wall high and low trying to find that one light switch.

Crawling and climbing stairs because your legs are out. Sitting in the corner. All you can think about is light-from the sun, from a flashlight, from the day, from a candle, from a match, from a cellphone, whatever!

Why close your eyes and meditate? You’re already in complete darkness.

Hey, hey … look at me. LOOK AT ME!!! YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO FIND THAT SWITCH!

You know why? Because you have looked for it on a wall. The switch is on you. It’s your mind, your brain, your thoughts. Now there’s that light-bulb on the top of your head I’ve been waiting to see, Har-old.

That’s all the light you need.

Grudges and negative thoughts are Living Rent Free In Your Mind. It’s their job to dim and make that bulb flicker.

It’s time you show others this dark side. Most will keep rubbing walls, few will use that bulb on the top of their head. And oh, give them only an hour. When their time is up, you hold secrets flame. That means you think for them, thus adding to your power.

You have three sources of light in the darkness: Your head-bulb, secrets flame and surprisingly your very own eyes because the longer you stay in the darkness, the better your sight becomes.

Futuristically yours,

Har+new

Jun 30 2011

Summer Of Mind Games

Dear Har-old,

Buddha once said, “To keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.”

To help clear your head, your stomach needs to growl.

Your body runs the track; your mind uses it for lift-off.

Your mind and body are one.

How do you treat it as such?

Get your body ready in the summer instead of for it.

Because most people get their bodies ready for a summer that school is out. Oh, the paradox.

That food is not going to your thighs; it’s going to your head.

What are you bringing to the table?

A book and a hot plate.

The book to put under one of the legs so your plate doesn’t slide off the table.

READ A DAMN BOOK!

Futuristically yours,

Har+new