Omfg!!!! 80,000 Views!!!!!

I just made it home. I left my phone behind. I’ve been gone away from it for 8+ hours. I look at my phone and my video is over 80K. It was at 63K when I left. I predicted it would get 71 but this blew my wind. I also surpassed 400 subs as well. I’m so fucking happy!!!! This thing is going to 100K. When it gets to 99K I am probably going to live stream until I hit the milestone so i can record my reaction. Shit!!!!!

Advertisements

I f’n did it!!! I broke my record 66,000 and counting fast!!!

Wow, just wow! I just wrote a few days ago about crossing the 300 subscriber milestone on YouTube. Now I’m damn near at 400 with 376. I’ll make a separate post about that when I hit that. This post is about my new video beating my all-time viewership from January. That video was at 65K. My new video just jumped to 66K. The video is steadily picking up momentum. It has been out for 15 days. Every time I think it has lost steam it due mto odd hours like after midnight, it start doing thousands in one hour in afternoon. I honestly think it will hit 100K by end of this month. It will definitely hit 70K later tonight. The video has also nearly 2,500 “likes.” Also, my watch hours went from 2,800 to 3,700 because of all of this. Bets believe I’ve been following up. I released 4 videos within last two days. Got one uploading now. This is my best month ever on YouTube (I just started in October). More Updates to come!!!

And no, these numbers are real. I haven’t bought anything. This is all SEO and staying on top of trends, and being obsessive.

Just hit 300 subs on YouTube!!!

I crossed another milestone baby!!! This is all because of one video. This morning the video was at 37K and now it’s approaching 44K. It’s also approaching 1,600 “likes.” Crazy comments back and forth. Now I’m just wondering does it have enough steam to hit the big 5-0. If it keeps up this momentum I think it will by tomorrow night around this time. Thanks to the analytics, I figured out why such the rush after the slow start. The YouTube algorithm gods have blessed me again like they did in January. A big YouTuber with 2 million subs put out a video on the same subject and that video has 900K. 26.6 of my views are coming from that. Now my video does have a long way to go to catch up with the 65K I put up a 2 months back but damn it could really catch it. I mean it already beat the number of “likes” i had.

I also figure I need 7 more impactful videos like this to get my thousand subs. Both of my big videos got me 100+ subs.

Chicken Sexer

Raw chicken
Or a white couple on a mission
The drumsticks are her legs wrapped around his waist
As if she’s trying to keep his pants on, haha, too little, too late

The bottom where the cockerel at
Because in 4 minutes the bun in the oven taking the top rack
The oven window fogged up
Opening the door will get ya hot and bothered

Roast chicken
Or a black couple in position
The wings are her arms wrapped around his back
The nails dig in when it’s time to eat, fruit roll-up tongue looking like a snack

Somebody done ate too much
Now you gotta unbutt, unbutt, unbutt
Somebody took many many licks
Now you gotta unzip, unzip, unzip
Somebody had too much sauce
Why don’t you just take your pants off, off, off

YouTube update in comments

Bomb A** Eggs (WordPresident #20)

Inspired by rain and my son. Only 1000 IQ and Big PP will understand.

Pitter patter of baby Jesus tears on the orange, blue, green and yellow panes
Pitter patter of Jesús tiny feet across the hardwood
Until he knocked the lava lamp to the floor
The higher ground is the coffee table
“Ahhh that’s hot!”
Splishy splashy into the galette des rois
Excuse my French, that’s molten chocolate
Fly like MJ
To the wall, get high like the boyfriend of MJ
Now the tar heels and 10 little piggies are safe in Charlotte’s web
The flash of lightning enlightened him on, where he parked his race car bed
The thunder stole some brodie’s thunder and made the Thunderbird’s alarm go off
Bolted to the bolts and pushed the little red button
“Ahhh that’s not hot!”
Thanks to terrible two’s temper tantrum T-Bird hasn’t left the nest
“Ahhh that’s hot!”
The pitter patter of our amigo off set is 172 centimeters on the growth chart
But the cries in Spanish takes off the popcorn ceiling, my monte negro
“Tell me you’re JKing? That babbling was about something else, baby boy”
“You remember the little red button? Oh! The red button there kid, don’t ever, ever touch the red button!”
“Now I’m kicking these bomb ass scrambled eggs off the airplane”
“Go to your woom and fall asleep at the wheel”
“Look at him! Walking like he drunk” SMH
“Aye, B.C. , please catch some Z’s so my XY can go from E to F in his V”
The F stands for full, not ‘cause you got some of my bomb ass eggs
Only Special K between the box and the bag for U … SWERVE
“You’sa corn pops”
Nah, the hand that rocks the cradle just cares about passing the rock to the hot hand
There’s holes in de-fense
Shoot the J, shoo-shoo-shoot it
No matter if he’s the cereal killer and I’m being a pig, the PTO is still spent having Life for breakfast
So I guess my son caught the W? I’ll take that L and right on cue J-R lets me know it’s the lowercase l to remind me I’m still number 1
But yo! Our last time out, short hand ticked me off asking me to read text messages for his bedtime story
No-no-no-no-no wonder you saying G-G-G-G like 50 Cent instead of goo-goo ga-ga
GN, I’ma let you get some R & R
But at 0600 hours if you don’t have your walkie talkie right the games stop I’m throwing Green Eggs and Ma’am at you

Where On The Doll Did He Touch You?

Where on the Barbie doll did he touch you?
The pessimist manicured fingernail points to the cup full
Before I could chug along she made me spit out, ‘what, two?!’
Where else on the Barbie doll did he touch you?
Turn it over, flip it around? Ermahgerd! A finger up the butt too?!
Just when I was losing all hope
I ask the same question to a different girl than befo’
“Play with another doll, Barbz doesn’t have a soul”
If he made you feel alive why did you let him go?
“Was a good guy but I pointed at Chucky’s back hi-de-ho”
“And it cost me dearly, I pointed at the arm and leg on G.I. Joe”
Got a rise outta her when I pointed at the armpits on Elmo
Nananananananana-no
That meant I wanna wrap my arm around you and console
“Or you’re trying to put me under your wing to smell your Dove”
It’s Speed Stick, and I pointed at Passport Bear’s cockpit, that’s why you only get half-a-hug