Why Women Won’t Rescue You From Fantasy Island

Dear Har-old,

American artist Andy Warhol said, “Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.”

You’re stuck on this deserted island.

A number of helicopters have flown by you.

Your jumps aren’t high enough.

Your screams aren’t loud enough.

Your hand-waving isn’t violent enough.

The wind has blown away every smoke signal.

The sound of an upcoming helicopter is music to your ears.

But you don’t even attempt to get its attention.

You accept your role as an ant.

But with your pair of binoculars you try to see who is in the helicopter:

YOUR MOST DESIRED WOMEN.

As you put down your binoculars, bras land on the top of your head, panties at your feet.

It is freaking raining clothes!

They not only seen you this WHOLE TIME but now they are teasing you.

Think like women: Play to people’s fantasies.

The physical hinders the power of fantasy.

And if you do let them come close enough to touch your skin, they should comment, “Wow feels almost life-like.”

The key to fantasy is distance.

Promise the moon but never let them land on it.

Futuristically yours,

Har+new

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