“My Grandma Pushes Harder Than That,” Joked Har-old, Laughing As He Fell Out The Window

The view of Har-old’s fall

Dear Har-old,

Maroni, from The Dark Knight:

If you trying to scare somebody, pick a better spot. From this height, a fall wouldn’t kill me.

In Halloween, Dr. Loomis, shoots Michael Myers off of the second-story balcony. When Loomis looks over the balcony, however, only Michael’s body print is found in the dirt.

Har-old, how long will it take you to get back up if I pushed you out your third floor window? Faster than the blink of my eyes as I nervously look for where your body fell. Did you land on your feet??? When others think they caused you great pain, you get pleasure from imagining the look on their faces when they see they haven’t.

Har-old, you have a different operating system from mere mortals. They say, “Never go to bed mad.”  But anger, hatred and pain wakes you up in the morning. When it feels like you’re handcuffed to the bed, how many times have I woke you up with this question, Do you want to be your parents? How many times have you blew your morning breath in my face with an emphatic HELL NAH! No pair of handcuffs can hold you entertaining those thoughts.

Why am I even considering pushing you out the window, to begin with? Because you didn’t get off to the ideal start I wanted you to in the apartment. But then, I thought about it, this is classic Har-old and Har+new: Having something to prove to me. Call me crazy, but, I think you wanted to feel the pain of getting off to a bad start so you could use that to drive you to a strong finish. Hey, that’s just my theory. The good thing about these past 2 weeks is that you were in control. You’re ALWAYS in control. The problem is that you just gave the wrong things power.

You’re a self-genius; they’re not Har-old experts.

FY,

Har+new

P.S. Announcement to FY authors: With the new theme comes new features. We have three different post formats. We’re already familiar with Standard, so, let’s address Aside and Gallery. WordPress defines Aside as brief snippets of text that aren’t quite whole blog posts. Useful for quick thoughts and anecdotes. Translation: Short, sweet and to the point. So, if you’re using this format, you don’t have to Dear or FY your letter, or even include a headline. An example of using this format is reminding yourself of something, quoting, future-self sharing a short story with you, etc. WordPress says a Gallery usually will show a thumbnail from the blog post, as well as an excerpt of what the gallery is about. An example of using this format is your future-self showing you stills (photos) that inspire you, motivate you or energize you. Even pictures OF the future. For this format, also, you don’t have to Dear or FY your letter. Speaking of pictures, if you add one to your letters, I can add it on the featured post carousel. This will be good for when your letter disappears from the Home page that only displays the most recent 26 letters. Get it. Good. I would like to have at least one letter of every author featured, so, if you don’t see yours, you know what to do. Oh … if anyone has a cool header image that will fit in smoothly with the space-ey background, let me know.

P.P.S. 26 ACTIVE authors!!! That’s the goal.

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3 thoughts on ““My Grandma Pushes Harder Than That,” Joked Har-old, Laughing As He Fell Out The Window”

  1. Wow, that’s intense! Is Har-old catching up to Har+new? Two weeks isn’t so far back : )

    This makes me recall my latest thoughts on my own life: that I feel like it’s finally coming together in a way that makes all the struggles of 2011 feel…insignificant. Just bits to make me stronger and appreciative of *right now*

    Like

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