Dear Ms. Me,
I’m writing this one from the grave. Yes, you read that right, from the grave!
I attended our funeral, of course and was very unhappy with the turn out my dear. When your grandmother passed away they didn’t have enough room in your uncle’s church for all the people who came. I mean there were people everywhere and there was standing room only. Remember? Remember how you couldn’t believe how many people who courageously blunt woman touched.
Well, your funeral was nothing like that sweet heart. Let me tell you, the attendees included your family only. Of course your in-laws came and your husband showed up with his new soon to be bride. I mean I’ve never seen a widower so happy, OJ seemed more sorrowful than this guy. Oh and the new lady is gorgeous by the way.
They dressed us up in some tasteless garment, I wouldn’t even bury a dog in. But the worst part my dearest was the eulogy now that drilled the nails in the coffin, literally. I mean it was so bland and depressing. Yes, it’s a funeral but the people attending are still alive. That eulogy gave them nothing to look forward to living for. This is what they said:
Mrs. Me was the mother of two lovely children. She is survived by them and her husband Mr Ok. She was an aspiring writer who never reached her dream. She was a big dreamer but not so much a big doer. She started many things but her untimely death at the age of 60 didn’t allow her to finish what she started [you see that sarcasm, they’re laughing at you even st your funeral]. She was a beautiful woman in her earlier years but she stopped taking care of herself for sometime; which explains her death at such a young old. She will be missed but hardly remembered. Heaven is the only place she’ll have a mansion and she hopes to see you all there some day
Ms. Me if you don’t do something about that I’m going to come to you like the ghost of Christmases come and I’m going to haunt your tail until I scare you into action! MOVE IT! I wasn’t prepared to die at 60 and definitely not like this!