Hey, I’m down here! A San Francisco woman who intentionally rammed a man’s car during an argument over a parking spot was unlikely to be caught due to the victim’s inability to describe the make of her car and its license plate number. The man was so focused on her low-cut dress, police said, “he was only able to give a detailed description of the suspect’s cleavage.” In a surprising turn of events, the woman was pulled over a few days afterwards for cutting off another driver and flipping them off. Officer Richard Dick, who made the stop, said, “As I was talking to her, she kept poking her chest out. She gave me the impression she was trying to manipulate her way out of the ticket. I told her to stop doing that because I’m gay. She didn’t even act like she didn’t know what she was doing. She just deflated and released the posture. That made me recall the ramming incident in the parking lot at Haight. So, I brought her in for a lineup to see if the alleged victim could identify her.”
According to the San Francisco Police Department, the man was happy they got a lead in the case because he just bought the car and he didn’t want to pay for damages someone else was responsible for. All the women wore a low-cut dress. Officer Dick said, “After 15 minutes of careful observation of the women in the lineup, the man said, ‘I’m sorry, but all I can remember are her breasts. I’ll know them when I see them. They were distinct. May I? It will help me remember.’ ” The department reluctantly (or willingly) agreed. The man requested each of the women to say, “Ram me! Rear-end me!” Even with this, the man was still having trouble identifying which of the women rammed his new car. “He asked could he be left alone for a few minutes because it was still hard for him to concentrate,” said Officer Dick. The department agreed without suspicion, however, after he asked could the women see him behind the two-way mirror, they told him they had to put him in handcuffs for the few minutes he wanted to be “left alone,” just incase he did anything “inappropriate” with his hands.
When the officers came back in, he told them it was definitely woman number 4 and tried to quickly walk out the room. Officer Dick said, “He tried to rush out. I stopped him so I could see if that was the same woman I pulled over. I couldn’t see the women in the lineup the mirror had so much fog on it. But when I wiped the glass off I saw it was definitely the same woman.”
The San Francisco Police Department said despite the fog, they will NOT launch an investigation of the man’s “activities” while he was alone because its IMPOSSIBLE he did anything “inappropriate” while in handcuffs.
Built on top of:
- No Leads In Road Rage Case, Thanks To Hypnotic Cleavage (msnNow)
- Victim Recalls Assailant’s Breast, Little Else (SFGate)