College Students Threaten Random Stabbings Over The Bachelor Degree Of Paula Cooper

Image via Twitter
Image via Twitter

They’re not collectively dropping the soap because she got “in trouble 23 times during her time in prison.”

They’re not sharpening their toothbrushes into shanks because she won’t at least spend a year in prison for each stab (33 vs. 27) on 78-year-old Bible school teacher Ruth Pelke.

They’re not taking the laces out of their shoes to strangle people because her and the other 3 girls only got away with $10 in the elderly car.

They, a 47 member (and growing!) college group from Indiana, calling themselves Ramen Noodles, are furious, she, Paula Cooper, who was released yesterday, walked out of prison with a bachelor’s degree on the taxpayer’s dime. In other words, a free education! Here are some reactions from Ramen Noodles:

She gets a bachelor’s degree in prison and I’m struggling to get financial aid. Maybe I need to stab someone!

And who do you think paid for that bachelor’s degree?! This is Bullshit!

Does she have to pay back the tens of thousands of dollars in student loans–like I (and so many other law-abiding citizens) have to pay????

I couldn’t afford to go to college. I should have just killed someone and gotten my three squares, free health care AND a college degree all at taxpayers expense!

Man, students today are stupid. Why put yourself in thousands of dollars in debt when you could just stab a woman and get a full scholarship?

i would like to know how she had the right to get a free bachelor’s degree when I have to take out student loans that need to be repaid and pay for what the grants and loans do not cover while paying for my monthly living needs and I am a law-abiding citizen.

Parents also got involved. One chimed:

Also, again I have to see how some prison inmate got a college education on my dime while my kids are struggling to pay their tuition.  I am SO sick of this!

School officials on Indiana college campuses are on high alert after Ramen Noodles threaten that if Paula Cooper doesn’t have to pay back the thousands of dollars her bachelor’s degree was worth they will start randomly stabbing people. They haven’t disclosed whether they will use butcher knives, in reminiscent of the type Cooper used on Pelke.

When we asked what would happen if she got a job (with her degree) before one of them does. Member Krusty Robinson said, “If you work at XYZ company, call in sick if you want to live.” And we’re not sure if that meant they would do the killing or Cooper would. We’ll keep you posted as this story develops!

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Would you join Ramen Noodles?

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7 thoughts on “College Students Threaten Random Stabbings Over The Bachelor Degree Of Paula Cooper”

  1. Heck yes! I’m a single mom and I work hard and I’m over 20k in debt going to school, it’s to a point where I’m debating finishing. That isn’t fair.

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        1. The downside to Paula Cooper getting a free bachelor’s degree is she had to spend 27 years of her life in prison. Good years too. From 16 to 43. Futhermore, who the hell gone hire her with a felony??? Especially an admitted felony of murdering a bible school teacher who was damn near 80 years old. Therefore, like I suggested to you, she, herself, will be better off starting her own company too.

          You’re a smart girl, Chanita! You’ll make the right decision 🙂

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        2. By the way, I haven’t removed you as an author. You’re still on the side bar. All your letters are still here. Your eulogy and novel letters are the best! You’re always welcome to write again.

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