In Fear Of Being Called Gay, The Two Men Who Robbed Another Man Of A Condom At Knifepoint Turn Themselves In To Police

I love you Chris Bosh but this picture is funny as hell lmfaooo. Image via Twitter
I love you Chris Bosh but this picture is funny (not as in gay, of course!) as hell lmfaooo. Image via Twitter

Two men rob man of condom at knifepoint two days after DOMA was ruled unconstitutional? Seems like the queers are just ready to party and couldn’t afford the party supplies! Jazz hands……FABULOUS!

Some men have 20 kids by 12 different women to prove they aren’t. Some men get married over and over AAANNNDDD over to prove they aren’t. No matter how wrong, some men won’t EVER disagree with a woman to prove they aren’t. And finally, some men will turn themselves into police, thus going to jail to prove they aren’t. Wait! Why would you …

The Erie Pennsylvania Police Department received a letter Sunday morning from 2 men claiming to be the ones who robbed another man of a condom at knifepoint. Here’s the gist of the letter:

We will glaadly turn ourselves in! However, we have demands if you want that to happen, which we know you do, because we read an article on MSN Now that said y’all were “hard at work on the case.” Okay. This is what we want. We want the victim to come forward and make a public statement, preferably a viral YouTube video. After the video gets a million views we will glaadly turn ourselves in. In the video, we want the victim to tell the public that the condom was ALL he had in his pockets. That he had no wallet, no cash, no phone, no napkin with some chick’s number, which if he did, we would have stolen it because we like girls. Speaking of which, we will also glaadly give the victim his condom back meaning WE DID NOT USE IT!!!

Working with YouTube, the Erie Police Department put out a 1,397,340 fake-view-count-video with the victim. When the robbers turned themselves in and got thrown in jail, the victim told them he will be putting out a real video on YouTube detailing how he actually had a brand new iPhone on him, credit and debit cards, his social security card, and a whopping $1,800 in cash. Then he said, “What’s really gone hurt their ‘reputation’ is when I tell the people they gave me a different condom back. The one I had was a gold wrapper. They gave me a purple one back! What’s the color purple?”

Built on top of:

What’s the most unusual item stolen from you? But first wait … what IS the color purple?

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