*Tuesday, July 16, 2013*
Har-old: *checks mailbox* He said no later than Tuesday. Today is Tuesday. My check is not in here!
Har+new: The mailman runs twice a day; it’ll probably be in there later.
Later that day …
Har-old: *checks mailbox* Where is it???
*Wednesday, July 17, 2013*
Har-old: *checks mailbox* Second time checking it today … still nothing!
*Thursday, July 18, 2013*
Har-old: *checks mailbox* …
Har+new: Why won’t you just call?
Har-old: I’m scared …
Har-old: … to hear “This number is no longer in service.”
*Friday, July 19, 2013*
Har-old: *checks mailbox* Okay, now I’m calling!
Har+new: Thank you! What are you doing?
Har-old: Going on their website to see what’s corporation number. Since they said they’ll be mailing my check, I’m calling them.
Har+new: No! Just call them!
Har-old: Shhh …
*45 minutes later*
Har+new: What’s wrong?!?!
Har-old: I’ve been scammed.
Har-old: This man said they’re not the corporation of anything! They’re just a website people go on if they want to buy the wax or get info on it. He said they do not have offices around the country that hire people to sell this stuff in front of gas stations! Everything he said has matched up with my experience with them, especially when he said they may pack up their bags and leave town. Nick did say he was going back to Florida. Told me I need to retrace my steps, gather evidence I actually worked there before I get police involved. Told me instead of calling a number I found on a website I should’ve called them to see if the number is still in service … you know what, that’s what I’m about to do!
*8 minutes later*
Har+new: What happened???
Har-old: HR told me they remember mailing my check out. I asked her to confirm my address they had on file.
Har-old: Right address … just my apartment number missing. So, that was probably my mistake. She said the post office don’t keep mail and they return to sender but it wasn’t there. Said if they have to re-issue the check, it may take weeks. Weeks I don’t have! But told me to first check with the leasing office to make sure it isn’t in there.
Har+new: Well, come on!
*3 minutes in leasing office*
Har+new: What they say?
Har-old: It’s not in there!
Leasing Lady: Har-old, come back!!!
Leasing Lady 2: Is this what you were looking for? *holds up white envelope*
Har-old: *smile of relief* Yesss!
Leasing Lady 2: The mailman JUST delivered it.
Har+new What an ending!
*back at the apartment*
Har+new: Open it up!
Har-old: Okay, here goes … *pulls check from envelope* Exactly what I expected!
Har+new: And, what’s that?
Har-old: Not the $300 base pay I was guaranteed! Not the $297 I made in the field! It’s the 30%.
Har+new: How much???
Har-old: 67 bleeping dollars and 41 cents!
Har+new: Wooooo! Alright!
Har-old: The hell you’re so happy for?
Har+new: You should be smiling too! This moment is historic! Don’t you get it? It took you 2+ years to make this. You started this journey over 2 years ago, remember? You wanted a job that was gone prepare you for the role of CEO of your own company so you almost exclusively applied to customer service, marketing, and sales jobs. You went through 16 of them!!! Chasing ghosts with AT&T U-Verse; playing the call-me-back game with Paul; getting fired after moving to another cubicle because you didn’t want to sit next to a racist. This is it! This is history! I want you to take a dollar out of this check and frame it.
*one bank run later*
Har+new: It isn’t wrinkled from being passed down generation after generation like your $1. It doesn’t have a Riddler-green bat signal on the back like your $20. It looks like … the ordinary dollar bill. If I mixed it with some other dollars, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. It has no mark of importance!
Har-old: Are you suggesting I write on it? ‘New, this dollar needs to be spent more than saved right now!
Har+new: *holds dollar up* This dollar tells a story. It’s the story of YOUR persistence! If you spend this dollar, you waste 2 years … of trying. *throws dollar in Har-old’s face and walks away*