Lil Mama: Harold, wake up , wake up
HIV: Huh? Oh baby! Thank you for waking me up! I was having a Freddy Kruger. How come you can remember yo’ nightmares but you can’t remember yo’ dreams?
Lil’ Mama: What you had a nightmare about? Hold on, let me guess: You had a nightmare that Lyric got AIDS and only had a week to live and her dying wish was to lose her virginity?
HIV: Yeah … how you know?
Lil’ Mama: B-cuz Im having the same nightmare!
Lyric: Hey daddy!!!
HIV: Aww you tryna tell me this shit real? Lyric, the doctor said you can have ANY wish you want … why you wanna lose yo’ virginity?
Lyric: B-cuz they say if you die a virgin you gone go to hell.
Fifth: Lyric that’s just for boys. If a girl die a virgin, she’ll go to heaven.
Lyric: Lil Harold go to hell; you still a virgin.
Jada: Not for long.
Lyric: Even if that is true, I still want me some dick before I leave up out this bitch and daddy you ain’t gone stop me, mama you ain’t gone stop me, and Jason if you try to stop me, I’ma rape you! I’ma be dead in a week, I won’t be in jail long.
Jason: Baby you ain’t gotta worry about that
HIV: Boy you need to be worried about me tryna kill you!
Jason: Then me and Lyric would just be doing it in heaven then you gotta kill yo’self just to stop us!!!
HIV: Look Lyric do you believe in re-incarnation?
Lyric: That shit ain’t real.
HIV: Yes it is!
Lyric: Who you know got re-incarnated?
Lyric: What is Tupac re-incarnated?
HIV: 50 Cent, Ja Rule, DMX, Young Jeezy, Baby, Treach, Michael Jordan …
Everybody: Michael Jordan?!
HIV: He’s bald head and dark-skinned … anyway the point I’m tryna make is: if you’re re-incarnated you ain’t my daughter then you do whatever you want to but as long as you’re my daughter it ain’t happening captain.
Lyric: Doctor can he do this???
Doctor: As crazy as it sounds, even though you’re dying you will still need yo’ parents permission.
Lil’ Mama: Harold she is dying and Lyric if that’s the last thing you wanna do before you die then yes.
HIV: Hell to the nah!
Lyric: Well we just gone sneak and do it.
HIV: Well that would be impossible cuz you gotta stay in the hospital for the last week of yo’ life and Jason you are banned from this hospital for the next week … SECURITY!
Jason: But what if I get sick or something???
HIV: Watch General Hospital
Lyric: Doctor does he got that type of power???
Doctor: I’m afraid so!
Lyric: Omigod I’m the one that’s having the nightmare … dad can me and Jason at least have phone sex?
HIV: Ummm doctor can you please remove the phone from this room?
Lyric: Dad is it me or is it Jason?
HIV: It’s Jason.
Lyric: So if I wanted to lose my virginity to somebody other than Jason, you’ll grant my wish?
HIV: Of course … but I have to pick the person.
Lyric: Who you have in mind?
HIV: Magic Johnson..
Everybody: Magic Johnson!!!
HIV: Think about it: both y’all already have AIDS so nobody won’t catch it and plus y’all can do it raw.
Lyric: My name is Lyric … not Cookie!
Lil’ Mama: Look what I got …
Lyric: Wow … another present! Just put it over there with the rest
Lil’ Mama: Why haven’t you opened none of yo’ presents?
Lyric: Ma it’s only one present I want before I die and you know what that is. I don’t even wanna be around nobody but Jason but mama you cool and plus I need to talk to you anyway.
Lil Mama: So what you been doing?
Lyric: I just been writing my will … and tell daddy he ain’t getting nothing: 2 syllables.
Lil’ Mama: I don’t think he need nothing else. Between you and him, I don’t know who’s been getting more presents these last couple days. He thinks he’s the one that’s dying.
Lyric: So is the plan working?
Lil’ Mama: Nope! Yo’ daddy know exactly what we doing.
Lyric: Maybe if you give daddy some he’ll let me get some.
Lil’ Mama: That’s what I been doing … I’ve been keeping the lip gloss on my other lips popping … Lyric what is this?
Lyric: My suicide note!
Lil’ Mama: Why you write a suicide note?
Lyric: B-cuz I wanna die early! If dad don’t grant my wish, I’ma kill myself on the day before I’m suppose to die from AIDS and ma if this suicide note ain’t enough motivation for you to make daddy grant my wish, I’ma tell you something I never told nobody so this is exclusive: The reason why I don’t like walkin’ home from school no more is b-cuz one time a junkie tried to rape me but don’t worry I got away while he was chasin’ me. I caused a diversion and made it rain but daddy make me wish I did get raped.
Lil’ Mama: Why?
Lyric: B-cuz I wouldn’t be going through this drama he putting me through today. He always telling me to don’t go to bed mad and look I’m finna die mad.