Six-O’clock Club


Dear Har-old,

I read that Ben Franklin said that only a few men live to old age, and fewer still ever become successful who are not early risers. So I set my alarm clock an hour and a half earlier in the morning. An hour of that time I used for reading and study. Of course, I soon found myself going to bed early, but I thrived on it.

Har+new: You know what’s one of the best gifts your grandma gave you?
Har-old: What?
Har+new: Your alarm clock.
Har-old: Why?
Har+new: Because that’s all you need to be in the Six-O’clock Club. Yet the only time you’re a member is when you have work or school in the morning. Why does it take a job you hate or a class that doesn’t teach your favorite subject for you to wake your ass up in the morning? Hmm? Your last 6 times waking up (and staying up) at six has something to do with a damn job!  Why is it when you don’t have nowhere to be in the morning you wake up late? 10, 12, 2 in the got-damn afternoon!
Har-old: …
Har+new: The only thing stopping you from being in the club is going to bed at 9. 10 at the latest. It’s a reason why I told you to turn off all technology an hour before bed … BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT’S KEEPING YOU UP AT NIGHT FOOL!!!
Har-old: *puts head down*
Har+new: Are you scared you’re gonna miss something by going to bed early? A phone call? A text message? A email? A tweet? A knock at the door from the naked trenchcoat girl?
Har-old: … Well
Har+new: Shut up! All you need to do is either go to bed early or wake up early. Notice I didnt say AND. Keyword OR because you will see one takes care of the other. You can’t go to bed at 9 and wake up at 2 in the got-damn afternoon. Just like you can’t wake up at 6 in the morning and go to bed in the wee hours of the night. You cannot cheap sleep. It always win. Do you need something that will get you excited about sleep?
Har-old: I need something because my sleeping patterns have been off for months.
Har+new: Lucid dreaming and your Invisible Counselors ANNNDDD your Inception soundtrack. Besides, it’s no reason to be an insomniac anymore when you already got me … your Tyler Durden.



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