The REMATCH UW Doesn’t Want YOU To Know About At #HighStakes

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Notice what it says at the bottom.

Newark, NJ — Days away from the Ultimate Warrior (UW) Battle League’s biggest event, High Stakes, leaked news has emerged from Bay Area rap legend and philanthropist Mistah Fab.

On the 13th of December I said on Twitter, ‘Back to the money. No more about this battle bulls***!! Back to this song writing and publishing hits.’ But to keep it a G with you, I couldn’t leave it alone. I just couldn’t. I had to get to the root of the problem. I could’ve left it at, ‘Oh Arsonal doesn’t really own UW so that’s why we not battling.’ Which is still true. He don’t own s***! But it was a voice in my head telling me it was MUCH deeper than that. I kept asking myself, ‘Why isn’t this man battling on HIS company’s biggest event? The best rap battle card of all time.’ And anybody know Ars’, knows he suffers from ASH: Attention-Seeking-Behavior. I believe this will be the first UW card he isn’t featured on. So boom! I was performing at a New Jersey club this past week promoting my new mixtape, Hella Ratchet, and met this female battle rap groupie. I just f***, right. We laying in bed, she roll over and say, ‘Fabby, I got something to tell you.’ In my head, I’m like, ‘Ohhh this b**** gave me something!’ I start panicking and s***. She like, ‘Calm down! What’s wrong with you? Don’t get excited yet!’ I settle down. You won’t believe what this b**** tells me, homie! She f***ed Arsonal too. Like I told you, she a battle rap groupie. She said after they f***, Arsonal wanted to spit his rounds for her. She said, ‘For the Yung Ill battle?’ He said, ‘Nah. For Hollow Da Don.’ She said, ‘The Dinninon or it’s another Dinninon? Not Hollow Da Dinninon! I thought you said don’t do rematches?’ He was like, ‘I’ma give him one. I’ma give him one.’ Like that. She said, ‘When?’ This mark a** n**** told her at High Stakes cuz. No, not next year’s High Stakes. THIS one cuz! She said, ‘But I thought he was going up against Loaded Lux?’ He was like, ‘That’s all for show. We couldn’t afford to give that man no damn 40K.’ At this moment, I’m saying to myself, I always wondered how Arsonal was able to pay Lux money the Smack man didn’t even have. And how such a small league like UW was able to get the battle over the URL and KOTD. This n**** would have to be on these Jersey blocks pushing all kinds of cocaine,younahimsaying. Then the broad was like he said, ‘We gone do him like we did him at Fight Club. Switch his opponent last minute. He gone have to freestyle the whole battle or spit his Lux bars against me. Let’s see if his rebuttals improved since.’ Arsonal been plotting since the Surf battle. He in love with Hollow’s facial expressions during their Fight Club battle. Priceless! She said Arsonal told her Lux gone be there to just flip the damn coin! That’s cold! Fans about to be pissed off for real. They gone do Hollow dirty! He about to get that work, alright.

Mistah Fab said he initially didn’t believe the groupie’s story but when he bumped into Loaded Lux a few days later, he was convinced. “I ran into Lux on 139th. I was looking for the Big L memorial wall. I wanted to take a picture in front of it. And I see this n**** Lux up the block looking just like Calicoe said … ‘bummy as f**k.’ I didn’t see no Bucaleany hoodie that day! Chewing on a stick and everything. I’m saying to myself, this n**** ain’t got no damn 40K and bounced cause I was thinking about pocket-checking that n**** on some Daylyt s***.”

Mistah Fab has said if him and Arsonal does battle one day, he won’t write a round and will freestyle the whole battle and that Arsonal’s experience doesn’t destroy his confidence. “I’m the Freestyle King. I’m spitting nothing but personals. No punchlines. No metaphors. No name-flips. Forget you don’t own UW n****. That groupie told me I got the bigger d*** n****.”

UPDATE (1+21+14): Ironically, today is Mistah Fab’s birthday, however, he insists “this isn’t the liquor talking” and this is in fact, “The truth. Birthday or not.”
UPDATE 2 (1+22+14):
The liquor was talking and Mistah Fab has admitted he made the whole story up because he was salty at Ars for not battling him on the most anticipated rap battle card of all time. This means … Lux and Hollow is back on!

BREAKING NEWS (1+23+14): Mickey Facts has deduced Loaded Lux’s gimmick for this Sunday’s High Stakes on Twitter. Remember the line Lux choked on at the URL’s Summer Madness 2 event? “Harlem hospital giving beds out.” Okay, now remember the last line Lux said at DJ Vlad’s Killas Battle League event, “Tell that boy Hollow to come get his medicine.” Now what keywords does both of the lines have in common? Medicine and hospital. Medical terms! Which means Lux is taking off the black jacket to put on the long white coat. To confirm this, Lux even tweeted a photoshop image of Hollow as a patient and Lux as a doctor and captioned it with, “Wait till we show up lol.”

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"You Gone Get This Medicine"

Built on top of:
• Mistah Fab’s tweets
•Fight Club switching up Hollow Da Don’s opponent last minute to Arsonal, causing him him to freestyle
•Something going wrong at UW’s High Stakes event

What do you think about Lux’s doctor gimmick for Hollow?

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