Judge Orders Man To ONLY Date Women Who Wear Hammer Pants After Skinny Jeans Defense Rape Acquittal

Image courtesy of Twitter
Image courtesy of Twitter

Content Warning: The following post contains a sensitive sexual topic that will seem like the author is being insensitive about if not read carefully.

“If she can’t breakdance in them, they are too tight,” said Sydney Australia judge Frank Tsoukatos to Michael Oinegue Gonzalez after 9 more women came forward with rape accusations.

In April 2008, the friend of Mr. Gonzalez’s ex-girlfriend was comforting him about his breakup. The two met for drinks before going to his Surry Hills house to listen to music. She told Sydney District Court they went upstairs to his room because he wanted to show off his drum set. Instead of playing, that’s when Mr. Gonzalez allegedly pushed her on his bed, pinning her down. “I struggled to get up for a while and … then he undid my jeans and … he pulled them off,” the woman said.

During the May 2010 trial, the jury of six men and six women sent a note to the judge asking, “How exactly Mick took off her jeans? We doubt those kind of jeans can be removed without any sort of collaboration,” the letter read. Consequently, the jury voted the sex was consensual.

Now 4 years later, nine more women have come forward accusing Gonzalez of rape. The women reported to police the assaults took place between November 2010 and March 2012. All after the original woman. 3 of the 9 claim Gonzalez repeatedly sexually assaulted them and despite taunts they were afraid to go to the police. “He was bragging about how he got away with it the first time and about how he could do it again. And I believed him. Based on my fashion preferences I knew I would have been scorned and ridiculed. That’s why I never told anybody about what happen,” said one of the women. The other 8 told similar stories about their taciturn.

So what gave them hope? A chatroom dedicated to sexual assault victims. “The more and more we talked and got into detail about what happened to us, our stories started to sound strangely familiar. Mick had the same MO. The drums,” said another woman. Realizing their strength in numbers, they walked into the police station holding hands with a new sense of hope.

Until the investigation into these nine women stories are conclusive and trial’s end-all of which could take up to 2 years like last time-Judge Tsoukatos ordered Gonzalez only to be seen in public with women wearing parachute pants. Judge Tsoukatos even went as far as bringing a television in the courtroom, showing Ciara’s music video for Promise, where she and other women dance around in baggy jogging suits as an example of what he meant. Judge Tsoukatos requested the public to call 911 immediately if they spot Gonzalez in public with a woman wearing skinny jeans and offered a $200 reward for doing so.

When court reporters asked Gonzalez what he thought of the judge’s ruling, he said, “CAN HE DO THIS?! Where the hell am I suppose to find a girl like that??? Even big girls wear tight clothes. Ugh! I might as well turn gay and date Mason Betha.”

Built on top of:

Rape of woman in skinny jeans ‘not possible’ (Sydney Morning Herald)

Jury acquits accused rapist because victim wore skinny jeans (Feministing)

Ms Me tweet

What do you think of the judge’s ruling

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9 thoughts on “Judge Orders Man To ONLY Date Women Who Wear Hammer Pants After Skinny Jeans Defense Rape Acquittal”

  1. So this article got linked to me by a friend. She saw the title alleging Nicholas Gonzalez had raped another 9 women, and thought I should see it immediately. You see, I want to kill him.

    However I’ve now read whatever this bullshit is, and my only question is this:
    Are you a fucking moron?

    Did you think that after casually writing some parody of a woman being brutally raped, that she wouldn’t see it?
    Did you think that after moving 1000 kilometers from her friends and family in fear of this man, it wouldn’t be a priority to google his name every now and again?
    You clearly think you’re some kind of satirist, a wordsmith and master of comedy, but here’s the facts asshole: 3 people had read this suicide inducing self indulgent ranting and one of them happened to be the topic of your comedy.
    The victim of the rape your joke is about read this article and had a panic attack. Then she cried. Then she realized it was a lie, and a joke at her expense, and she felt even worse.
    This is explicitly your fault.

    Nicholas Gonzales is not a funny man, nor should he be a free one, and it’s scum like you who think rape is something to joke about that made sure of that.

    For the record, you don’t even have the facts straight. The judge proceeding was one Honorable Penelope Hock, who in her closing statements told the jury in no uncertain terms that the evidence at hand was more than compelling.
    It wasn’t the judge that failed that day, it was the Australian people.

    Now take this shit down, lest he has actually raped someone else. You’ve done enough damage.

    Like

      1. The Kind they make now do, especially when wearing the proper undergarments lol my sister let me borrow a pair of hers and I was highly pleased, couldn’t stop looking at myself in the mirror lol but anywho… That would be a funny sentence had it actually occurred but wouldn’t it make it easier to yank the pants off

        Like

        1. It did ACTUALLY occur. *stares at you for 10 seconds without blinking* That’s the point. Hammer pants don’t need any sort of COLLABORATION. Skinny jeans do. Get it?

          Like

        2. *stares at you for 20 seconds this time* Do I have to remind you why I don’t have an About page? Especially for Future News? The rape AND sentencing is REAL. Only something cluttered with details is authentic. Okay. But I’m glad you like it. Thanks for the lead

          Like

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