“Lil’ Girl Go Get Your Mama”

Based on a true story

Taco Bell – Good morning. What can I get for you today?
Sonny – Waffle Taco Sausage and AM Crunchwrap Steak.
Taco Bell – Ok. That will be $5.44.
Sonny – *squints at screen and sees BCN* No! I said AM Crunchwrap STEAK!
Taco Bell – I’m sorry. I thought you said bacon.

30 minutes later …

Taco Bell – Here you go.
Sonny – Thanks.

*Car pulls off*

Sonny – *checks bag* THIS IS NOT IT!

*Car skirts*

Sonny – *jumps out car, storms in restaurant* Hey, hey … you gave me a hashbrown in place of my Waffle Taco Sausage!!!
Taco Bell – *cook comes out* What’s wrong?
Sonny – I ordered a Waffle Taco Sausage and AM Crunchwrap Bacon. No I mean Sausage. No! STEAK! You got me messing up. You gave me a hashbrown and AM Crunchwrap Bacon. Dammit! STEAK!
Taco Bell – I’m sorry. Give me one minute to correct this, sir.

43 minutes later …

Sonny – *on tippy toes, peaking in kitchen to make sure no saliva is being added*
Taco Bell – Here you go, sir. Again I do apologize for that.
Sonny – *thinks to self* They ought to give me back that hashbrown if they really sorry. I’m gone be late for work!

9 hours later …

Subway – What can I get for you today, sir?
Sonny – Footlong Italian Herbs and Cheese bread.
Subway – *pulls out bread* What kind of sandwich?
Sonny – Meatball Marinara. Add pepperoni.
Subway – You gone have to get a 6-inch.
Sonny – *confused look* What? Why?
Subway – We only have 4 meatballs.
Sonny – *looks behind* Four? You can go ahead of me, mam.
Lady – Thanks. I want the …
Sonny – *looks in cookie section* Yall out of cookies, too?
Subway – That’s all we have, man.
Sonny – All y’all have? I don’t see nothing. *leans back* Oh those 3. Will y’all be cooking anymore meatballs?
Subway – We have some in the back but they’re froze. If you want to sit down and wait, I can unthaw them for you?
Sonny – Nahhhh that’s okay. Will y’all be putting anymore cookies out?
Subway – No. It’s the end of day.
Sonny – *checks watch* *thinks to self* They don’t close for another 3 hours??? *shakes head* You can go ahead of me, sir.
Man – Thanks. Let me get the …
Sonny – *plays background, looking at above menu* *thinks to self* Damn! All I ever get is the meatball. I don’t want to experiment.

25 minutes later …

Sonny – I can’t decide. I give up! I’m going somewhere else. *storms out restaurant*

11 minutes later …

Yums – Hi. What can I get for you today?
Sonny – *thinks to self* This lil’ 13 year old girl gone take my order? They must be training their daughter?  Ok. Steak, Egg, Cheese footlong. Just mayo, lettuce and pickle on it. And I want a season fry.

27 minutes later …

Yums – Here you go.
Sonny – Thanks. *thinks to self* Hmmm … With the day I had I bet not leave out this restaurant without checking my food. *unwraps sandwich packaging, checks food* What the hell is this on my bread?!?!
Sonny – LIL’ GIRL GO GET YOUR MAMA!
Yums – What’s wrong?
Sonny – You see this? I got MOLD on the edges of my bread!
Yums – Oooh. We get you another one.

42 minutes later …

Yums – Here you go, sir. Sorry for that.
Sonny – *thinks to self* I know it’s unlikely since I put them on notice but what if they did it again? *sits sandwich on table and unwraps it.*
Yums – *nervously looks on*
Sonny – *thinks to self* Everything looks okay. Now how the hell I wrap this back up? How they do it? Umm … *attempts and fails* DAMMIT I’M GOING GROCERY SHOPPING!

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