3 Reasons Why The “Heartbroken Becomes The Heartbreaker” Cycle Needs To STOP!

Orange shirts
Do you recognize one of these shirts?

 

Dear Har-old,

It’s the year 2014 for you. And you haven’t experienced true love as of yet. In my time it’s 2041, and you have. Between your present time and my future time you have broken hearts … and had yours broken. You know I’m strategic, and being this is my first letter to you in months, I know you deduced your first love is imminent. It is. Deeper thinker would also suggest which side of the fence you will be standing on. Reasoning would say since you know the outcome, when you meet her avoid subsequent encounters. You can do that. But it’s STILL gone happen. Unless, of course, you are inwardly detached and don’t give the relationship your all in fear of the pain of heartbreak. That’s not the way to live. This letter will protect your child-like spirit from the rigidness of the adult world. Okay. I want you to picture your dream girl (Think Janelle Monae) and imagine she just broke your heart. You are in a delicate position with a critical decision to make. Will you make it with your heart or head? You being emotional this letter will show why the head is above the heart.

Because it makes you close-minded

Did you know your heart is made out of glass? Folded arms are the heart’s bulletproof vest. However, you won’t be able to speak this body language until the heart shatters into the hardest logic puzzle EVER. Then BOOM! Someone solves it. Well … not quite! Every time they try to put the last puzzle piece in they get cut. Blood is drawn. You and your best friend have the following conversation:

Best Friend: Girl, whatever happen to Har-old? Y’all shared the same birthday; both y’all wanted the same amount of kids and had the same philosophy on to how to raise ‘em; both y’all’s ultimate goal was to have a successful business; y’all finished each other sentences. Shit! Y’all was like the male and female version of each other.

You: Girl, his favorite color was orange! That motherfucker that broke my heart favorite color was orange. I told Har-old to pick another favorite color and his stubborn ass wouldn’t do it. Sooooo *sings* I’m single and back on the prowl …

Repair your broken heart by yourself. Replace that cheap, easily breakable stuff with Gorilla/Sapphire Glass and open your arms again. It may seem like the best way to protect yourself against painful experiences is to be rigid. You will kill the playful, receptive child in you when you do. And when you do, no one will think you’re cute enough to be around.

Because you REALLY fell in love with your imagination

You just spent an abrupt yet enchanting evening with your beloved. “What’s this?” They left some sort of  Frisbee-sized, empty-centered circle behind. You call and tell them they forgot it. They say, “I’ll get it later.” Later becomes months. Now, y’all still have seen each other during this time. But the encounters were so brief and the moments so intoxicating, that by the time you remembered to say, “Don’t forget your … “ they were long gone. One day, you sit this ring-like disk in a prominent place, no matter the beautiful chaos, you won’t forget to return it. But something important happens. The circle gives you the ability to do something you couldn’t do with them standing next to you : Think. Something their overwhelming presence wouldn’t allow. Their mere association with the disk gives your imagination the required space to run wild. But something freaks you out as your thoughts become the more intense: that disk faintly glows. But you like where your thoughts are going. You don’t want to stop. Not now! Your fantasy reaches a thrilling climax. When you open your eyes you see the light, a steady light running through the disk. It’s a halo. What was once going to be given to them in their hand will now be placed on top of their head. Only after they break your heart will you realize why they weren’t in a rush to get the “halo” back … it wasn’t theirs.

Because the person who broke your heart WINS

Opposites attract. Have you noticed the difficulty for two heartbreakers to find each other even when it’s more of them in the world? And because it’s more of them, that naturally makes it harder for two innocent people to cross paths. Therefore, it’s always the innocent and the heartbreaker running into each other. When the world first started it was warm. Then the first person who got their little heart broke said, “I vow to never experience this pain again. For now on, I’m the heartbreaker.” Thus, began the “heartbroken becomes the heartbreaker” cycle. The world became cold. Why? Because no one  never said, “I like getting my heart-broken.” And you shouldn’t like it, because it’s no fun. But what is fun? Winning and maintaining your individuality. Because you lose when you become what/who you hate.

One day, a man was breaking up with his girlfriend at the park. The argument was loud enough to be heard by other park-goers. One woman in particular happened to been the original woman who broke the man’s heart. The man used the woman’s breakup monologue verbatim from 4 years ago. The woman pulled a bag of popcorn from out of her purse and sat down on a nearby bench. After the girlfriend ran off crying and the “show” was over, the woman put EVERY SINGLE heartbreaker on the world’s biggest conference call and said, “We got another one!” It’s your job to say, “FUCK A SEQUEL!”and write an original screenplay that will have your sneaky-ass EX choking on a popcorn kernel. This is YOUR movie!

Futuristically yours,

Har+new

 

P.S. You did good on the 1st and 2nd. But now … you been fucking up! Phone off at 8. Up at 6. COME ON! COME ON!

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15 thoughts on “3 Reasons Why The “Heartbroken Becomes The Heartbreaker” Cycle Needs To STOP!”

        1. I’m familiar with Dr. Oz though. No shade. I watched a few segments on his show. But yeah, Steve (we on 1st name basis) is kind of a big deal to me.

          *Editor’s Note: This comment was typed on an Android device

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        2. yeah well old Stever didn’t want anyone to be able to change batteries – more money for him. Seems many have decided that’s just a little too selfish.

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        3. Not to burst your bubble but that was me politely excusing myself from the conversation. Time to eat! Salsbury Steaks. Thanks for commenting though 🙂

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