The Rent Is Too Damn Low

 

Based on actual events

FADE IN

INT. JIMMY’S APARTMENT – EVENING

Jimmy reads an email on his phone when he hears noise outside his door. He looks out the peephole. He sees no one. He opens the door and finds a white envelope with his apartment number on it taped to the door. He opens the mail and reads it.

JIMMY

What’s this?! 30 day notice of rent increase?!  I just signed a new lease over a week ago. Wheet?! $369?! The last letter said $469. Hold on!

Jimmy puts on some shoes and runs to the leasing office.

EXT. OUTSIDE JIMMY’S APARTMENT BUILDING – EVENING

INT. LEASING OFFICE – EVENING

JIMMY

I know y’all about to close in 5 minutes but somebody just put this on my door.

MANAGER

I did.

JIMMY

I don’t get it.

MANAGER

It’s your 30 day notice of rent increase.

JIMMY

But my lease up in November. Not December. I just came in here on the 20th and signed a new one.

ASSISTANT

Yeah, I’m the one who did his appointment.

The assistant gets the paperwork from the filing cabinet and shows it to the manager.

MANAGER

Oh, our mistake.

JIMMY

But what about the $369 on that paper. The last notice said $469.

MANAGER

For a new lease it’s actually $359.

JIMMY

Remember I asked you a week ago why my rent increased by $100? And you said it was no particular reason, that’s just at the request of the landlord.

MANAGER

Nah, I don’t remember.

JIMMY

You gotta remember my rent $469. Remember before I signed the lease y’all addressed my concerns and assured me the washers and dryers were gone be fixed the next day? Then I asked about the elliptical and you said you personally was trying to locate one because you use it a lot yourself.  Do you remember my rent is $469 now and NOT this $359?

MANAGER

No.

ASSISTANT

You probably was looking at the six-month.

JIMMY

Nah, nah, nah. I know what I saw. That was for a year. I don’t have time to go get the papers right now because y’all closing but I can tomorrow.

ASSISTANT

You already signed a new lease. You don’t have to come back in here tomorrow. It was our mistake.

JIMMY

But I need to show you the proof my rent is $469 and not this $359 or $369 y’all talking about.

The manager, the assistants, and the other leasing office occupants look at each other in disbelief.

MANAGER

(stern delivery)

Sir, do you want your rent to be $469 or 359?

JIMMY

I want my rent to be … *smiles* AWWW! *smacks self upside head* I am so …

EVERYONE

Stupid?

JIMMY

Yeahhhh. That’s it!

MANAGER

Sir, your rent for the next 12 months will be $359, however, we’re going to charge you $10 extra for the first 2 months because your stupidity has us working overtime.

JIMMY

I deserve it!

EXT. OUTSIDE APARTMENT BUILDING – EVENING

Jimmy clicks his heels as he runs back to his apartment.

FADE OUT

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