Based on actual events
EXT. WAL*MART – AFTERNOON
Couple leaves Wal-Mart. The man pushes the grocery basket to their car while the woman walks 2 steps ahead with her arms folded.
Whatever, Cletus! Whatever! You cheated on me!
Baby, how did I cheat on you? I was looking for that lotion you like. I was on aisle 5, then I looked at the sign above the next aisle and it said, “Asian Foods, Hispanic Foods, Crackers, Chicken, Twerking.” I didn’t know when I went on that aisle I was actually gone see girls shaking their ass!
But it didn’t say lotion, Cletus! It didn’t say lotion!
I was curious! Gawd!
Two men near a car parked next to the couple’s get their attention.
SOME GUY 1
Hey, pardon us!
[looks at guy]
SOME GUY 1
We locked our keys in the car, and can’t afford a locksmith. Would y’all happen to have a hanger?
Yeah, we just bought a lot of ’em.
No, I just bought a lot of ’em! How you gone offer them one of my hangers, Cletus? Who got the exhaustive wardrobe here? Huh?
Look! Ask her!
SOME GUY 1
May we, madam?
Oh, you’re so polite! Yes you may, handsome! [looks back at Cletus, smirking]
SOME GUY 2
Thank you! [grabs the metal coat hanger and goes to work]
As the two men work on the door, the couple put their groceries in their car. Suddenly, they hear a loud screech. The two men pull off quickly. That’s when a person runs into the parking space with grocery bags in their hands, dropping food everywhere, screaming …
The couple looks at each other in shock, communicating in animated facial expressions.
You need a ride?
Yeah … follow that car!
This time, the couple communicates in thought-reading, saying ….
*thinking* Least we can do!
*thinking* Hell nah! If we catch up to them, they gone say we helped them. The hangers are on our receipts, fool. We accessories to the crime, Cletus! Accessories! You too pretty to go to jail, Cletus!
Cletus nods at woman in agreement, then looks at the person, saying …
You can’t have a ride!
As the couple’s car screeches off quickly, the person picks up a bent-out-of-shape hanger off the ground and throws it at the rear window of the couple’s car.
FADE TO BLACK