If I’m going to die, my last activity will be doing something I love: writing. I’m an English Major, you know.
My name is UnKaren.
My boyfriend just kicked me out.
NYC is not cheap.
No, I don’t have family.
The money I saved from working retail was spent on a New York PATH subway car.
To save on fuel, I parked in the shade of a tree, but Jason-masked-Timberland-wearing thugs vrin vrin cut it down. This happened every time I found a new tree. Where is the lucky tree stump from the Apollo when you need it?
Consequently, I started searching for buildings to protect me from the shade, and each time, the first episode of my favorite TV show (can’t name one; I am a TV junkie) flew a paper plane into it.
So now here I am being exposed to the sun like I need some D!
I don’t wanna die this way. What did I do to deserve this?
I hear this swoosh sound in the sky and take cover because I’m thinking the first episodes of one of my favorite TV shows is about to start Wild-N-Out.
But it was a bear driving a blimp with its billboard sides saying, “Because you ignored your future.”
Then I start thinking about this blogger who I haven’t emailed back.
It’s been 10 minutes.
No, not since I emailed him.
That’s been forever!
I mean how long I’ve sat in the sun.
This lady on the outside approaches my vehicle. She opens the door and hands me a one hundred-dollar bill and says, “You have just won the hot kar challenge.” To show my commitment to NOT ignoring people anymore, I grabbed the $100 and walked to the back of my subway and gave it to this woman wearing this gray hoodie, shades, backpack, soulja girl scarf, and who was singing Home from “The Wiz.”
Sheeeeee looks like she needs it more than I do!