“That Was Hard” (Staples Personality Test)

FADE IN

INT. TEMP OFFICE/PROSPECT HOME – DAY

TEMP AGENCY

Hello.

PROSPECT

Yeah, I’m calling to check the status of my drug test and Staples application.

TEMP AGENCY

Well, you passed the drug test, but you didn’t do so well on the Staples personality test.

PROSPECT (sighs)

  How many did I miss?

TEMP AGENCY

They don’t tell us. The results just come back approved or denied.

PROSPECT

Can I re-take it?

TEMP AGENCY

You have to wait 6 months to apply again, but we can help you find work with other companies in the mean-time.

PROSPECT

Long as they don’t require you to take some silly personality test. That’s my third one I failed. What in the world are they looking for?

TEMP AGENCY

We don’t know ourselves; test is full of trick questions.

Flashback to 4 days ago when Staples was reviewing the prospect’s test. 

INT. STAPLES HQ – DAY

STAPLES 1

What’s wrong, Johnson?

STAPLES 2

Well, I’m going over this applicant’s personality test. He answered all the questions how we wanted, except for one.

STAPLES 1

It’s probably one that doesn’t matter. What was the question?

STAPLES 2

“How important is it for you to have time outside of work?” The choices were “not important,” “somewhat important,” “important,” and “very important.” He chose, umm, THAT one.

STAPLES 1

What did you say?! You wait a got-damn minute, Johnson! Slow down! That son of a bitch thinks having a life outside of work is VERY important?!?!?!

STAPLES 2

Hmmhmm.

STAPLES 1

(smacks red button) DENIED!!!!!!!

STAPLES 2

Hey, what’s with the towel?

STAPLES 1

Oh, yeah, watch the men’s restroom door. Make sure no one comes in for the next 30, 35 minutes. I need to take a quick wash-up.

STAPLES 2

Yeah, sure thing, bud’.

FADE TO BLACK

4th video in 12 week YouTube series:

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One thought on ““That Was Hard” (Staples Personality Test)”

  1. I tried to make it 4 consecutive days. I thought about writing about this earlier in the day. It wasn’t until 11:40 I thought of an ending. It was a race against the clock. I knew it was gone be short but I still was working on well into midnight. But I’m back! Looks like this month gone close out with at least 2 more posts.

    And oh, Blog Wars #2 coming! 😾👩🏽

    Like

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