This Is Exactly Why I Don’t Let My Microwave Sleep In The Bed With Me

I let my phone sleep in the bed with me because it’s my alarm clock.

I let my laptop sleep in the bed with me because it’s my pillow.

I let my microwave sleep in the bed with me because it’s my cover.

Those horny teenagers I have for neighbors woke me up out my sleep with their moaning.

When I pressed the home button on my phone to see what time it was and saw 1:53AM, I realized in a few minutes daylight savings time will end.

So, I wanted to stay up for the event. In the 6 minutes I waited I had my Crystal Lake water bottle to the wall making “ki, ki, ki, ma, ma, ma” sounds through it.

At 1:59, I started staring at my alarm clock. As expected, the time reverted to 1AM. I looked at my pillow, same thing. I poked my head under the covers and made a face like I smelled a fart that wasn’t mines. The damn microwave said 2:00AM!

You telling me I just signed a 12 month lease to an apartment that furnishes their units with microwaves that don’t recognize daylight savings time?!?!

I kicked that microwave out the bed so hard I gave it cancer.

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