Why Lemonade Costs 5-0-C

FADE IN

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – DAY

COP

I bet you didn’t know that woman you gave your number to was an undercover cop, did you?

SUSPECT 1

That bitch!

COP

That’s Officer Lana Manor to you!

SUSPECT 1

If that’s the case, ask her why she wouldn’t initially give me her number. She said I didn’t look like I sell drugs.

COP

Well, you sure as hell convinced her when you sent her a picture text of 10 ziplock bags of cocaine.

SUSPECT 1

Like I told you a thousand times, that was sugar.

SUSPECT 2

Officer, I’m the one who sell drugs. Not him. I’m the one you want. Just let him go.

COP

Snitching on yourself? I guessed you didn’t wanna keep your mouth closed long enough for him to open his and snitch on you, huh?

SUSPECT 1

I wouldn’t do that!

SUSPECT 2

He wouldn’t do that to me. We’ve known each other since the 3rd grade. We’re best friends. I just believe in you do the crime you do the time, and he didn’t actually commit one. Why should the innocent get 10 years in jail just for being associated with the guilty?

SUSPECT 1

Officer, if you search the home, in the kitchen, in the cabinets, you will find those same bags in that text there. I kept the sugar in ’em.

COP

So, you’re telling me how to do my job? Because I did it.

The COP walks to the door and knocks. Another detective walks in the room, holding a tray with 10 ziplock bags and a pitcher. 

COP

My daughter made this lemonade.

SUSPECT 1

(smiles) I’m free!!!

SUSPECT 2 leans over to SUSPECT 1 and whispers, “I emptied the sugar out of 3 of the bags and bagged it up with the dope.” SUSPECT 1 jaw drops.

SUSPECT 1

Hey, man, can you just take my word for it?

COP

No, because if this isn’t sugar, you will also be charged with forcing an officer to take drugs against his will, getting him addicted, and making him a fiend.

SUSPECT 1

Whet?!

COP

So you’re telling me this lemonade won’t be bitter no more if I do this, right?

SUSPECT 1

I’m not saying that anymore!

COP

Well what are you saying, that you sell cocaine like your buddy here?

SUSPECT 1

Nooooooo!

COP

Well, there’s nothing to worry about, is there?

The COP pours the contents of 3 of the ziplock bags into the pitcher. The suspects hold hands and look on in sheer horror. The COP shifts his eyes back and forth looking at both suspects while he stirs the lemonade with a big spoon. The COP drinks from the pitcher. The suspects are pinching each other on the arm and thigh. 

COP

(spits the lemonade out)

With their heads jerked forward, eyes wide, drool falling from their chin, the suspects anticipate the cop’s next words. 

COP

(wipes mouth) I should’ve used 2 bags. That shit was too sweet! Johnson, throw the rest of them bags away. We eat too many donuts as is. 

FADE TO BLACK

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26 thoughts on “Why Lemonade Costs 5-0-C”

    1. What about the old blog? Did you have a consistent “liker” or commenter besides me? I’m telling you the two things that will help you is using the popular tags on WordPress and visiting other people blogs (liking and commenting). Look how I found you (or did you find me?).

      Like

        1. Lol. You probably did. But it’s cool. I like finding people I can engage with on here. I have 2 awesome people in my life now courtesy of WordPress. Make sure you use tags like “college” “musings & personal” “writing & blogging”

          Liked by 1 person

    1. Maybe it was the tags? Please don’t let that discourage you. I wrote a lot of stuff i felt should have gotten numerous comments but it didn’t happen. At the end of the day, you have to write something that will please your future self. I love reading stuff I wrote in 2013 and smiling. Write for you and have fun. People will see that and join in. 👊🏽

      Liked by 1 person

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