It’s not what it looks like 



A couple strolls along the sidewalk. The woman attempts to light a cigarette but the wind blows out her flame. She attempts this 2 more times without success. The man stops and holds both sides of his jacket open and forward. The woman bends over to shelter her flame so she can light her cigarette. A cop car slowly drives pass, stops, rolls down his window, and looks at the couple in disbelief. The man realizes the awkward position he is in. 

Man – Officer, it’s not what it looks like. 

The woman, while still hunched over, looks back with a cigarette dangling off her lips. 

Officer – Oh, it’s not what it looks like, huh? [starts to open his car door and exit the vehicle] On the fence, spread ’em! No, no, close them! Fucking freaks! Y’all probably wanted me to see y’all so I can provide the handcuffs. All out in the opening, I tell ya. 

Man – Officer, I’m telling you, it’s not what it looked like. Windy, blowing … 

Officer – And you got the nerve to confess Wendy was blowing ya, shut the fuck up! You ought to be ashamed of yourself, you filthy pig. There are innocent kids all around, ya know that. 

A little girl runs up on the officer and tugs at his jacket. 

Little Girl – Officer, officer…

Officer – Wait little girl …

Little Girl – Please, it’s an emergency.,

Officer – You okay? What’s wrong?

Little Girl – What size shoe you wear ?

Officer – 7. Why? 

Little Girl runs back to her friends and start giggling. 

Officer – The fuck was that about?

Woman – [talking with cigarette in her mouth] Innocence. 



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