Vin Vin Vending Machine

FADE IN

INT. BREAKROOM – DAY

Man walks into breakroom, shaking coins in his hand.  He stops in front of the vending machine.

$1.75 for a small bag of chips?

He opens his hand, revealing 30 cents then shakes head in disgust. He walks away (2 feet) then stops. 

MAN

I can’t leave the property on my break. And lunch is 4 hours away.

He sighs and steps back in front of the machine. He puts the coins in his pocket then snaps off his arm. Looking where to insert it the lid on the vending machine lifts back by itself. 

MAN

*inserts arm*

The machine eats the arm. The man then snaps off his leg and feeds it to the machine the same way. The vending machine begins to shake violently and the man steps back in fear of it falling. A bag of chips fall. With a smile on his face, the man reaches to open the lid before realizing what may happen. 

MAN

Uhh … can you just spit it out? I kind of need this hand.

The vending machine flaps the lid 3 times. 

MAN

You promise not to bite me?

It flaps the lid once. Closing his eyes, sucking his lips in, scrunching up his face, the man reaches to open the lid. Someone else walks into the break room. 

MAN

Hey, hey, Riley, can you pick my chips up for me? It’s at the bottom.

RILEY

You know I don’t like you, right?

MAN

 … yeah, but I also know you’re a very kind person. I saw you hold the door open for Ms. Curry when she was 50 feet away.

RILEY

MAN

Can we just put our differences to the side for 2 seconds?

RILEY

Al-alright!

Riley opens the lid, reaches inside and the machine clamps down on his arm.

MAN

Oh snap! Was that your arm or the bag going all crunchy crunch?

While the machine’s lid is wide open chewing on Riley’s arm the man uses it as an opportunity to sneak his chips out of its grasp. 

RILEY

What you doing?! Help me! Ahhh!

MAN

I said 2 seconds. Your time’s up buddy! Glad I wore my watch on the left today.

The man hops out while Riley screams in pain. 

FADE OUT

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