Balcony Baseball

Property Manager – Hey, Mr. Pitt, what can I do for you today?

Resident – I looked at my lease papers and saw the rent breakdown. I’m paying $69 per month because of baseball?

Property Manager- Yes, your apartment has a balcony that overlooks the A’s baseball field.

Resident – So what? That’s not why I chose it. I don’t even watch baseball.

Property Manager – Well, I’m sorry, but the lease explains that anyone who moves into our apartments with a view of the action on the baseball field is required to pay our sports extra fee.

Resident – What? DirecTV doesn’t even charge that much a month for MLB Extra Innings!

Property Manager – How do you know that? I thought you didn’t watch baseball?

Resident – I don’t! The cable provider y’all use is DirecTV. Look, I want to be reimbursed my $276 for the last 4 months.

Property Manager – I’m sorry, but we can’t do that.

Resident – And why not?

Property Manager – Because you should have read that four months ago.

Resident – You should have told me that 4 months ago.

Property Manager – No, you should have read that. I went over all the important stuff, one of which was the rent itself, which you were perfectly fine with.

Resident – Yeah, but if I know I can save some money especially in regards to something I don’t even partake in then I want to take advantage of it. Well, baseball ended a few weeks ago, so am I still gonna have to pay this $69 during the off-season?

Property Manager – Yes, its an amazing view.

Resident – I want my money back, and I want it now!

Property Manager – I’m sorry.

Resident – Alright.

3 hours later …

Property Manager – Hey, we don’t allow masks to be worn in our offices.

Person – Yeah, I’m sorry. I’m on my way to see Justice League, and stop here first and use the change machine.

Property Manager – Okay, well you need to take off your mask while in the office.

Person – I can’t or I’ll get electrocuted.

Property Manager – Okay, you need to get out now. You are starting to creep me out with that voice. Why are you talking like that? Did you know Ben Affleck plays Batman now? And why are you holding that bat? That’s not one of Batman’s gadgets.

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