Rose Petals In The Snow (NSFC-hristmas)

Severed foot in my stocking stuffer
Santa Clause walking with a candy cane
Ol’ Saint Nick down with the swirl
Pull him up by his salt and pepper beard with cookie crumbs in it
“You got a cherry nose because you are what you eat”
Force feed him more deer meat
Now, Dasher! Oh, that made your designer belt pop!
Now, Dancer! Whoa, that made your little round belly shake like a hoe hoe hoe!
Now Prancer and Vixen! Slay slay slay!
On, Comet! Feeling a little out of this world, are we?
On, Cupid! Aww, that’s going straight to the heart!
On, Donner and Blitzen! Santa ain’t real, if I’m lying may God strike me in half
Tik-tok tik-tok
Nothing, because he’s as real as you
Leave the way you came
Oh, Santa’s gained weight and stuck in the chimney
Wait a minute!
Santa’s lost weight ‘cause of the Chronic Wasting Disease and now a chimichanga
Hell is a fireplace
Hell is a fireplace
Hell is a fireplace
Hell is a fireplace
Hell is a fireplace
Hell is a fireplace
Hell is a fireplace
Santa’s gonna burn (ho!)
Santa’s gonna burn (ho!)
Santa’s gonna burn (ho!)
Santa’s gonna … haha

Santa got stuck going down the chimney head first
Rayne, dear, I ain’t pulling your leg, but when the reindeer was pulling his leg it only made matters worse
Santa logged in and his hair caught fire
The black-and-blonde-haired-kids were cracking up and called him a ginger, the elf on the shelf replied a …
“That’s not nice” (na-na-na-na)
“That’s not nice” (un-un-un-un)
Run, run, but Santa couldn’t catch his breath and the wind lost to fire
All bent outta shape like a candy-cane about being round and quickly getting tired
He was resting on hay bale in some barn when a cow approached him
“I want to eat 2% of you” Santa roasts him
“I’m not a real Ginger, moolie
“So, you just gone ignore the whi- This, I know, because they have better insults than that, Wendy’s Twitter account schooled me”
“Give up them cookies, punk!” “Who me?!”
“I’m a fucking man, that’s a ‘no forever’ “
“I don’t mean pussy, we don’t go together, I want them chocolate chips, I mean, WE go together
But you may wanna stay away from the other side of the barn, it’s a horse over there who likes to rap about how hung he is
But you didn’t hear that coming from my mouth or my bum, see this?
That’s where the foxes are, you know, those little skanks
Don’t walk in those regions if you ain’t gotta checking account with River Bank
If you broke, no worries, go take some dough from this old couple
But, just know, them pigs don’t like getting up from snorting they snow, and y’all too fat to tussle
You know what, fuck the struggle!
How about this hustle?
Just tell the grands you wanna make some extra Christmas money with your shovel
I’m sure they’ll love you, I’m sure, I’m sure”

Pedaling in the snow (oh-oh-oh-oh)
I see rose petals in the snow (oh-oh-oh-oh)
Hopeless romantic hopeful (go-go-go-go-go-go)
Follow your heart, un-huh, follow-follow your heart
The last petal in the snow, un-un-un-un, is loves me not (no-no-no-no-no-no)
Now it’s more red in the snow (more red, more-more-more red)
Bloody Merry Christmas
Or should I say Bloody Mary EXmas? (whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa)

  • Work in Progress: Sidewalks of New York (Part 2)

  • Check the comment section an hour after this post publishes for a big YouTube update (if you care about my journey)

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3 thoughts on “Rose Petals In The Snow (NSFC-hristmas)”

  1. I was just about to ask you how everything was going and then saw your comment. I feel im entitled to know what your secret channel is lol we go back too far for me not to know. Let me see what you’ve been up to! I’m glad you’re finally doing what you had talked about, that’s so dope man

    Like

    1. I’m not making money off YouTube or anything. It’s just I stopped by that old lady’s cart at Sam’s Club and got a sample taste of what could be if my effort is there. I learned that it’s really not about who is more talented or who have the most money that separates people. It’s really just the effort. I always wanted this but kept procrastinating. For the last month I’ve been really hungry for this due to personal stuff. Nothing major has happened since I last spoke to you on IG.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. While I haven’t been active on here in over a month, I have been active creatively elsewhere. That fireplace is YouTube. I started a secret channel on October 24th and have published 19 videos. Yes, 19. Four on my public gmail address and the remainder on my secret channel. I dropped 2 videos on the former I was proud of but I stopped to focus on my main channel I wanted to build up from scratch. Plus, I wanted to start leaving comments and troll, something I don’t usually do on my public gmail. Anyway, I am so happy how this channel is going. As of writing, I only have 22 subs. I am grateful for each one. The thing I’m most excited about is my views. I published something a few weeks ago that got some nice attention considering the fact I’m just starting out. The video is approaching 2,700 views, got 27 “likes” and around 17 comments about how entertained they were.

    I haven’t went more than 6 days without posting. Some days I dropped two video on same day. Although, 19 videos seems like a lot, I feel I should’ve had at least 30 so far. I let a lot of video ideas pass me by, and with the type of content I do, time is of the essence.

    The process is crazy. I’m not a big social media person. I downloaded all the necessary apps I knew I needed and have been relentlessly scouring them for information. WordPress made me a stat junkie. I can’t tell you how much I refresh my YouTube app for views. I put out a post on the tenth and it got to a 100 views like within 90 minutes. Then it froze at that number. I thought maybe my views just slowed and stopped. I went to work and left my phone behind and care back to see it was in the 400’s. As of writing, it has like 850 views and will definitely hit that 1,000 milestone within a week. Since I’m very little I have very modest goals. Long as my posts do a hundred views in a week, I’m straight. Yes, I have posts with as little as 10 views and I accept that. It’s on a video which is a good video might I add. It’s low not just because I’m starting out but in comparison to my other posts it’s not trendy.

    The comments I get really make my day. The one I got from the video on the 10th really made my day. This woman told me to “keep it up” and that she shared my post on her Facebook. Stuff like that truly truly means a lot. She did this without me asking directly or indirectly (via video). I don’t know how many Facebook friends she has but I’m pretty sure she is responsible for a lot of my and why I’m approaching that comma in a week.

    If that wasn’t great enough I dropped a post today and remind you the type of content I make is time sensitive. This thing in question caught fire yesterday and I actually was aware of it but didn’t see any content I could do anything with. I didn’t find out until the next morning this subject was trendy. I saw a channel with only 5 subs gets 3,500 views off this topic so I know I could get in on the action. I’m sure I lost a chunk of views by posting almost a day late but damn am I proud of what it did IN A DAY. Listen! I dropped this just a few hours ago, right. The damn thing already passed up the post on the 10th. It’s already around like 1,200. I’m both excited and pissed because had I jumped on it when it was on super duper fire I’m pretty sure I would have passed my post that did 2,700. I swear I cannot wait to wake up in the morning to see where it is.

    The only frustrating thing during this journey has been my tools, which I gotta deal with for now. I hate iCloud. This fucking thing pisses me off so much. You see, I start my videos on my phone then upload them to iCloud to do the finishing edits on my laptop. Everything was working fine at first I but recently it’s been a struggle to make iCloud transfers work in a timely fashion. For instance, that post I got 2,700 views on, I had stayed up until 5 in the damn morning trying to figure out why wasn’t my stuff transferring from my phone to laptop correctly. I end up falling asleep and woke up 3 hours later and it suddenly started working. I missed around 8 hours of exposure for this post because of iCloud so it’s safe to say I could have views in the 4,000’s.

    I want to post every day … but other life matters need my attention and plus it’s hard to find content for a daily basis. I want to have at least 21 videos by Christmas.

    Like

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