You Ain’t So Tough (WordPressident #15)

You ain’t so tough
Without your boys
You ain’t said much
What’s all that noise?
I ain’t me when I’m hungry (stop snickering)
And you ain’t you when you’re with your homies
Played the dozens when you had strength in numbers
But when them eggheads was eight miles yonder
You lost control over the 1’s and 2’s when son asked you, “what you say about my mama?”
What ya say, what ya say? Un-huh, “un-un”
Went from a, my mum blew to a mumble
What happen to the W when you had double you’s? I wonder
The man in the mirror moonwalked without a stumble
The glass shattered into a puzzle
The chrome won’t give the explorer an edge over the firefox in the safari, come to
You draw a blank and hundreds of tabs puncture with punctuation
Ay, Caramba! I could rumble, punch your face in, launch your space men
Keyboard warriors with 3, 4 multiple guess why they call it account
Guess why they call it amount
I let you kids throw rocks at my truck
Don’t stop and just truck
‘Cause if I did not y’all are fucked
Won’t have a chance
It’s all downhill for you but an uphill battle for me defending this Avalanche
Like that ain’t what happen man!
I won’t ever rest, or nap again
“Say that again!”
You kittens gotta be kidding spitting how a Siberian tiger should be kicking his writtens
Hissing “It should’ve been the Sierra Altitude Edition …
because of the, you know,” mannnn listen
Pulled you aside when you got beside
Yourself, Team I
Got ya one on one, one by one where you reside
But it really be like …
One bye, two bye, three bye
These guys were seaside
To make it look like a shark attack
Their jaws were at where Jaws was at
Bruce, they called him that before I fed him arms and legs and all of that
But now it’s Bruce Bruce, small and fat
Baby Shark gone have to doo doo doo doo
all the crap on SpongeBob and Pat or breathing how large a task when singing the song in baths?
Don’t you splash free water on my rug, that’s Persian purchased with Paul Manafort money
Something you can’t afford dummy
Man avoid junkies
Pimp hand escort honeys
To the therapist for her neck massage
“Long day at the desk, corsage”
Daisy allergic to lilies
Perfectly silly
L’Oreal, Maybelline, oh what a find!
Rihanna got her own line
Foundations ain’t basic take your time
I wish you could make up your damn mind
Maybe MAC can come out with a MacBook
And you care less about your apple bottom getting fast looks
From men who gave another woman their last, Cooke
Is yours but peep, how the irony unfolds the crease
Wife found the way to your heart, not on the roads or streets
Here comes the airplane through your stomach, with more on the stove to eat
Gross indeed to think about eating groceries with a PINK label
Think stable that’s a mistake bul
Gets a no from me
Your wife is the real rare one … if you sold on Queens, hold and squeeze, and don’t let go for green, go on green … vroommmmm

YouTube update in the comments.

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One thought on “You Ain’t So Tough (WordPressident #15)”

  1. Just hit 20K on a recent video that has only been out for 4 days. Gained 30 more subs since. The video has over 100 comments. Nearly 200 thumbs up. Overall, my channel has over 30K views. I would like to say my next goal is for a video to do 25K but the aforementioned video hasn’t slowed down yet. I didn’t think it would even get to 20K. It continues to do on average a 100-something views an hour. I don’t want “congratulations” from bloggers who I don’t fuck with! And that’s not directed at new strangers. This is directed at those who think we have some sort of bond just because we have been KNOWING OF EACH OTHER for years. We don’t really know each other. Just because you found my blog or I found yours back in 2011 and we still know of each other don’t mean shit. Keywords…know of. We just been inconsistently texting each other all this time. I reach out and don’t hear back in months, years. I been thinking about addressing this in a post called “I Don’t Know You.” It’s one thing if you’re off the grid but another thing if I see your bullshit. If I haven’t been on your blog and interacted with your last 10 posts either with a “like” or comment then I probably don’t fuck with you. This is aimed at 3 bloggers in particular. Check the rhymes! When I come at you it won’t be direct because I’m creative with it. Gone be clothed in pretty little metaphors and Jim Carrey riddles.

    The 6 year anniversary of when I wrote Passport Bear is coming up on the 13th. I’m thinking about rewriting it into screenplay format. Even considering posting a chapter and password protecting it during those 3 days I went in.

    And oh, this is probably the best WordPressident I’ve done just because of the length and the quick rhymes throughout. This is jam-packed with wordplay and metaphors!

    Like

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