Category Archives: Futuristically Yours

Reverse self-letters

Sex in the Workplace

2 words. Why did I write it out as 2 instead of two? So you wouldn’t think the two words were the two words, okay? Now, 2 words: Ethics & Compliance. The ampersand is the logogram &, representing the conjunction “and.” The A AND D R silent, therefore, & is the 14th letter of the alphabet, okay? Again, 2 words: Ethics & Compliance. Bullshit! If I moo-ved letters apart that’s 2 words. No! If I put letters together that’s BS.

A year ago I wasted 45 minutes on this bullshit. No, not this postThat was 2 years ago. Know your dates, and know how to play with words. Mooved isn’t a typo. This Ethics & Compliance online course is about inappropriate behavior in the workplace and how you can be affected by it even if you’re not on the receiving end. Me, I’m never on the receiving end ’cause my khakis on casual Friday say, “He don’t play that.”

I work in a call center. One of the first things we tell customers is, “This call may be monitored for quality assurance.” Since we speak to each other more than customers (bad numbers, forwarded calls, etc.) our conversations should be recorded. If that occurred I would be working for myself because as you’re about to read even managers are guilty of being filthy. Desperate for something to consistently write I came up with this series about sex in the workplace, The references. The innuendos. The suggestive. With the myriad of sexual allegations in the media and today being the hump day of all hump days, what better day than today to start the series? Before we begin, as a disclaimer, none of these conversations were eavesdropped on. The following was heard sitting in one spot. I didn’t struggle to ear hustle. These conversations weren’t as private as privates. They weren’t as intimate as intimacy. These conversations start with 2 people at a volume that invites others to chime in. It upgrades to a threesome. Then a swingers party. Then the fifth wheel being left out. Then before I know it there’s an all-out conversation orgy and my customer asking, “Is there a party going on in your background?” Why, yes, Mr. Walton, let me be a party pooper. Hold please. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! Get it. Shut “the fuck” up. Hahahaha.

Without further ado …

  • As we were working, we heard police sirens outside. Charlie,  the manager, jokingly said they were coming for Tommy (who sits next to me) and he was going to be locked up with Bubba. An obvious rape in jail joke. Disgusting.
  • We have two mounted TV’s. Usually one has a visual with low volume and the other is on a non-video music channel with high volume. Anaconda by Nikki Minaj came on. Josh googles an image of an Anaconda and says to Martin, “look at this Anaconda.” Martin rolls his seat next to Josh’s cubicle and bursts out laughing. Why would a boring fuzzy picture of a snake be hilarious? Because Martin was fooled into thinking it was a penis at first.
  • When Reggie, a manager, came into the room for the first time today and heard the music he said, “What are y’all listening to?” in a tone that implied he thought the song was wack. Marlena assured him the station was good and told him about the songs that were playing before he entered. She mentioned Anaconda and Wrecking Balls. The latter never came on.
  • Charlie, the manager, talking about that infamous hair gel scene in There’s Something About Mary.
  • 4 and go. We get 4 sales and can go home. The best part about it is still being paid for the remaining hours on the shift. You get your 4 within 2 hours of the shift? Well, guess what, you still get your hourly pay for the remaining 6 hours. It’s like you’re not there but you are here. Cassie got hers. Charlie, the manager, says to Tommy, “She’s selling. Are you buying?” Tommy pulls out a hundred-dollar bill. It was in reference to her selling one of her sales (’cause Tommy had no sales) but it had obvious sexual undertones (prostitution).
  • Jasmine (who sits next to me) called her man and asked what he wanted for Valentines. Before she let him answer she said, “No sex!”
  • Troy, the boss of bosses, told Debbie he ain’t doing “shit” for Valentines. That he was just going to the gym to workout. Debbie said you need to go home and workout. An obvious reference to having sex with his wife.
  • As Darin was leaving for the night she told Josh not to have too many babies tonight
  • As I was coming out the restroom I hear the other Jasmine state she not a hoe ’cause she only had sex with one person.

As I was writing that last bulletin I decided this topic isn’t good enough to be a series. I hate writing about sex. The best part about this post was the introduction to it. The bulletins were lame in comparison. I was thinking about using the same intro for future installments of the series but then freshness would be lost upon avid readers. I still want to use the workplace to inspire creativity because I’m there for almost half the day. It’s a daily source of material and I wouldn’t have to beat my brain for new ideas everyday, which is only an issue ’cause I’m not in shape at the moment. I need to buy those spy cam glasses and put up some YouTube videos. I love writing. I wrote this on paper at work and during the writing process I was in a zone. I was hearing myself think. My mind was going clickity clickity click. Time flew. It even spilled over to the job because I was more enthusiastic over the phone. Maybe instead of new posts I just constantly add to this? I don’t know. What y’all think? Would you like to consistently read about how horny my co-workers are and how much of a prude I am? Hahahaha

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Sims 4 Apartment Tour

Outside of my building

Living Room

Computer Area

“Backyard”

Kitchen

1 of 3 of our bedrooms

 

Doggie Area

Taking “Muffin” out for a walk.

Pool Room

 

Upstairs


My son’s bedroom

My daughter’s bedroom. Have to redecorate since you aged up.

 

Upstairs bathroom.

Me and my wife’s bedroom.

Sims 4 – One Room, One Week, One Theme Challenge: A Guest Room for Thanksgiving

Entry Form: 139th Challenge (Sims Forum)

Theme of the week: Guest bedroom for Thanksgiving

Backstory: “Aaron and Elizabeth are young adults and are siblings that live away from home. They each live in different US states. They and their parents are all very excited! It is the USA Thanksgiving time this week and they are coming home to spend time with their parents! Their parents are setting up separate guest bedrooms for them to sleep in whilst at home. Their mother wants to also include a favourite childhood item in the guest bedrooms to remind them of when they were a child. Could you please design a guest bedroom either for Aaron OR for Elizabeth . You can only design one guest bedroom. The room is not normally a guest bedroom, so it can’t be a large bedroom. It is a room that has been converted into a bedroom for the Thanksgiving time. The family would be very appreciative if you could design a guest bedroom for them!”

My Interpretation: After Aaron went off to college in another state, his parents downsized by bulldozing what use to be his bedroom. Upon returning home temporarily for Thanksgiving this year, his parents turned the garage into a makeshift bedroom.

PHOTOS:

Sims 4 Small Business Saturday

This is the first time I built something in the Sims 4. Since it’s Small Business Saturday I wanted to build a retail store. I modeled it after the Apple Store. Does my Sims clothing look familiar?  This was really time-consuming, and I didn’t even furnish it yet. Here are the results:

Tents are on both sides of the building for Black Friday and Small Business Saturday. 

I put a food stall and bench in the back of the store.

Glass Ceiling (technically its nothing right there at all lol)

Store looks small, doesn’t it?

Until you realize it’s an underground store.

There will be four sections. One will be for kids.

Time to go.