To: Cj 31
My dearest Cj 31, You are closer to me now than when we first met. I can see you picking up the pieces from the past three years of your life. You have seen some dark days; days I could not prepare you for. And you felt pain that cut deep to the core of your soul. I heard your screams from nine years away. And during that time you blocked me out – trapped in the darkness of your experiences. I watched you sleep-walking through your days. I watched you at nights when you twisted in your sleep – disturbed by dark memories of the past that your mind replayed. And I watched, always frustrated that I cannot tell you if nine years from now you will be just fine. So I waited. I tapped on your shoulders and you shuffled. I tapped again and you answered. I was so happy that you finally responded to me so that I could let you know that:
Life teaches us…because you will never be able to put the broken pieces together again you must clean up and move on. Remember that the cleaning up process is different every time. Don’t compare one process to the next. It keeps you stuck. Sometimes you will get out of the situation unscathed. Other times – you will feel great pain; the sharp edges of the glass will cut you deep or the splinters will penetrate your flesh and you will bleed. This is not a reason to leave the broken parts of your life untouched because it is only through cleaning up that you will learn the techniques of removing the splinters (the source of your pain). In time you will.
1. You make excuses rather than find a way
2. You lack focus
3. You put everyone else’s ideas/desires before your own
4. You fear commitment (to your dreams)
5. You lack enthusiasm
6. You lack initiative
7. You care about what others think
8. You fail to see opportunity in EVERY situation
9. You talk too much
10. You stopped believing (this is the ultimate blow, NEVER EVER STOP BELIEVING)
GREATNESS IS ONLY ACHIEVABLE IN THOSE WHO HAVE A PERFECT BELIEF IN IT!
Dear Calliope now,
Once upon a time, you believed in dreaming big. You thought you had the whole world at your fingertips and you were ready to make your presence known in this great big world. There was no dream that was too big, no future was too bright. You saw yourself in magazines and your name in lights.
Somewhere along the way, you lost faith in yourself. You let the world decide that you were not big enough for those big dreams. Or rather, you let your perception of what the world thought of you decide that for you. You never even gave yourself a chance. Once the time came for you to be fearless, you gave up because you were too scared to take chances. You were afraid of being judged.
You decided that your chance had passed you by and you just gave up. And now you feel like you will never amount to anything.
You have two choices. You stand the precipice of a great decision. Before you lie two very distinct and different paths. One is an easy road. One with few obstacles and challenges. But that road also has very few rewards. It has no beautiful sights to see along the way, no inspirational wonders or breathtaking moments to fulfill your heart`s desires. You won’t get stressed out or scared on that road, but you also will gain nothing by taking that path.
The other path is quite treacherous, with twists and turns, obstacles and frightening passageways. It`s a long road, and it will be tough to travel, but at the end, there is more to gain than you can imagine. By taking the path that frightens you, you will reach all the goals that you ever dreamed of reaching. You will see more beauty and feel more wondrous excitement than ever before. You’ve taken the easy road up until now. Can you say that you’re glad that you did?
Stand up tall. Wipe off all your fears and disillusionments of self-doubt. Shake off all insecurities and get yourself ready for a bumpy, adventurous ride. You can do it. You are good enough to live big dreams. You can make your mark on the world. It’s not too late. Your chances are not all gone. You’re not as old as you think; you’re definitely not too old to accomplish your dreams you set out to before.
I`ve travelled the difficult road, and I’ve seen and done some terrifying things. But I have absolutely no regrets. Regrets are the product of traveling the easy road. Awaken those big dreams again. Don’t give up on yourself until you’re dead in the grave. Only when your body has no more life in it should you decide your chance is gone. Until that day comes, keep dreaming as big as you can, and never be afraid to reach for those dreams. And never take the easy road.
“If you’re gonna screw up, do it while you’re young. Older you get, the harder it is to bounce back.” -Winston Groom
You’re not taking advantage of your age. Are you in your 20’s or 50’s? I’m confused! You’re playing it too safe. You need to take some risks, and I mean BIG ones. You’re boring me! Remember: When a young person screws up, it’s cute; when an old person screws up, it’s ugly. Do not wait until you’re ugly to screw up! Youth is your friend. Now take advantage of it!
“Watch when you wake up that morning you’re going to be like, I’m not taking nobody’s stuff anymore!” Says your older female classmate/new-found friend.
The best part about that statement is your birthday is two weeks away and you’ve already started that mindset. It has been a rocky year from start until now. You witnessed your own family turn into hindrances for you. You have hurt from pain and scars you thought you’d never have and you have even done some things you thought you’d never do. What has it taught you though? Nobody is going to look out for you and yours more than YOU! These battles have equipped you for all out warfare if you need to, to get to where you are trying to go in life.
I am SO PROUD OF YOU! Ms. Me, you have changed not only your attitude but you have a new look to match it. You are starting to exude confidence and have began to embrace a mind of your own! Yes, you still make mistakes but you know how to live with them! You have finally got the picture: this isn’t your mama’s life, nor your daddy’s life, nor your siblings lives, it’s YOURS!
Last but not least, love may be a desire but love is not your primary focus. I am so glad that you are finally seeing how much your goals mean to you and that love will come when it comes! You may still shed your tears over love lost but you still keep in mind that what is meant to be will be!
Who is this woman I see in the mirror now……….ME!!!