To: Cj 31
My dearest Cj 31, You are closer to me now than when we first met. I can see you picking up the pieces from the past three years of your life. You have seen some dark days; days I could not prepare you for. And you felt pain that cut deep to the core of your soul. I heard your screams from nine years away. And during that time you blocked me out – trapped in the darkness of your experiences. I watched you sleep-walking through your days. I watched you at nights when you twisted in your sleep – disturbed by dark memories of the past that your mind replayed. And I watched, always frustrated that I cannot tell you if nine years from now you will be just fine. So I waited. I tapped on your shoulders and you shuffled. I tapped again and you answered. I was so happy that you finally responded to me so that I could let you know that:
Life teaches us…because you will never be able to put the broken pieces together again you must clean up and move on. Remember that the cleaning up process is different every time. Don’t compare one process to the next. It keeps you stuck. Sometimes you will get out of the situation unscathed. Other times – you will feel great pain; the sharp edges of the glass will cut you deep or the splinters will penetrate your flesh and you will bleed. This is not a reason to leave the broken parts of your life untouched because it is only through cleaning up that you will learn the techniques of removing the splinters (the source of your pain). In time you will.
Dear Calliope now,
Once upon a time, you believed in dreaming big. You thought you had the whole world at your fingertips and you were ready to make your presence known in this great big world. There was no dream that was too big, no future was too bright. You saw yourself in magazines and your name in lights.
Somewhere along the way, you lost faith in yourself. You let the world decide that you were not big enough for those big dreams. Or rather, you let your perception of what the world thought of you decide that for you. You never even gave yourself a chance. Once the time came for you to be fearless, you gave up because you were too scared to take chances. You were afraid of being judged.
You decided that your chance had passed you by and you just gave up. And now you feel like you will never amount to anything.
You have two choices. You stand the precipice of a great decision. Before you lie two very distinct and different paths. One is an easy road. One with few obstacles and challenges. But that road also has very few rewards. It has no beautiful sights to see along the way, no inspirational wonders or breathtaking moments to fulfill your heart`s desires. You won’t get stressed out or scared on that road, but you also will gain nothing by taking that path.
The other path is quite treacherous, with twists and turns, obstacles and frightening passageways. It`s a long road, and it will be tough to travel, but at the end, there is more to gain than you can imagine. By taking the path that frightens you, you will reach all the goals that you ever dreamed of reaching. You will see more beauty and feel more wondrous excitement than ever before. You’ve taken the easy road up until now. Can you say that you’re glad that you did?
Stand up tall. Wipe off all your fears and disillusionments of self-doubt. Shake off all insecurities and get yourself ready for a bumpy, adventurous ride. You can do it. You are good enough to live big dreams. You can make your mark on the world. It’s not too late. Your chances are not all gone. You’re not as old as you think; you’re definitely not too old to accomplish your dreams you set out to before.
I`ve travelled the difficult road, and I’ve seen and done some terrifying things. But I have absolutely no regrets. Regrets are the product of traveling the easy road. Awaken those big dreams again. Don’t give up on yourself until you’re dead in the grave. Only when your body has no more life in it should you decide your chance is gone. Until that day comes, keep dreaming as big as you can, and never be afraid to reach for those dreams. And never take the easy road.
“If you’re gonna screw up, do it while you’re young. Older you get, the harder it is to bounce back.” -Winston Groom
You’re not taking advantage of your age. Are you in your 20’s or 50’s? I’m confused! You’re playing it too safe. You need to take some risks, and I mean BIG ones. You’re boring me! Remember: When a young person screws up, it’s cute; when an old person screws up, it’s ugly. Do not wait until you’re ugly to screw up! Youth is your friend. Now take advantage of it!
What is happening to you? Your light is dimming. There is a faraway look in your eyes. You are compromising so much of yourself. What happens to doing your best? Do you believe that living a mediocre life is doing your best?
Look at yourself. STOP with the “buts”.
Be silent and just look at yourself. How will you ever meet me if you waste away in depression? What happens to knowing that nothing new can come into your life until you are grateful for that which you already have? What happens to knowing that sometimes you have to be at a particular place before you can get to your destination? You don’t just ARRIVE.
What is that I see? Tears. Ok. CRY. I want you to cry. I am giving you two days. Only two day to just cry. Throw yourself the pity party. Embrace the part of the story that keeps you wallowing in your own sadness like a pig wallowing in mud. After that, the tears are enough. You are just one pitiful woman expecting the world to feel sorry for you. I am giving you two days to cry because after that it is just sad. You are just sad. Look at you sitting there – crying about a problem you just recently attempted to address; wanting the problem to go away as soon as you think it.
Seriously CJ28, seriously?
Harry Potter is for Hollywood my dear. Leave magical things to the big screen. Life’s challenges will never disappear with the flick of a wand.
Answer this question, when you are driving in a downpour – can you see ahead clearly if your windshield wipers are defective? Ok, I thought so too. So why do you think that you will be able to see clearly with all the tears in your eyes. You cannot figure out the answers to the important questions because you have defective wipers in your life. Go and get them fixed.
Now CJ28, this is what I want you to do after day 2. Wipe your eyes and embrace the other side of the story. There is always a positive side to the story. I can’t tell you the answer. It is there and you will figure it out. So, just get those wipers fixed and the answer will come to you.
…and please remember, you are here today so that you can be somewhere else in the future.
Hello Bernadette My Dear!
This is a letter from yours truly (as in your true future self from the future) (we could all use a little redundancy in our lives sometimes). I’m just letting you know that this would be a most opportune time to figure out what the heck you’re going to be doing with your life!! Yeah, I remember this period of our life. It gets hard. and confusing. and you have no idea what you’re supposed to decide. You’re dealing with a whole lot of pressure from people who want you to succeed. Believing in yourself is not the problem, you’ve got that down. No, the problem is, are you going to be happy? Are you going to like your career choice? Are you going to have good relationships? Is all this what you have been destined to do? Are you going to be genuinely content? I’ve been there (obviously) and I know its tough, but it does end and you end up being me! (It’s awesome, trust me.)
“Wait,” you say, “you’re future me. So can’t you just tell me what to decide and if it’s a good decision?” Ha! Wouldn’t you like to know? But no, you’re a clever girl. You know that people should only be privy to past and present information. Unless, of course, it’s a letter from your future self giving advice. Those are always okay. 😉
So anyways, all I have to say to you right now is gear up and get ready. It’ll be rough and frustrating and so worthwhile. You’ll learn to decide for yourself and you’ll be great and happy and lovely.
FY, (Thanks to Har-new, I’ve been permitted to close like this)
Bernadette from the /fjutʃɜr/
P. S. Yes, as you can see, you do eventually get the hang of IPA.
P. P. S. Doctor Who, still awesome.