Hmph. You telling me you had those animal balloons since November and your first time trying to create a 3 twist dog is today, the day you’re scheduled to upload your next video?! The script was memorized, your hair was cut, the lightening was right. But the reason you’re gonna be a day late is because you can’t make a got-damn giraffe?! A got-damn swan! Oh, something you could have practiced on yesterday, Sunday, your birthday, you know, days you wasn’t doing shit anyways. When I looked at you in the mirror earlier at the gym and said “I hate you” I wasn’t trying to motivate you. I meant that, literally. Who the hell are you, now? Because even Har-old was better than this shit!
It’s real now. You got your gas station polo. You can realistically get down to 200 pounds in 19 days. Other than food, the only thing standing in your way of a great performance on May 27th is practice, practice, practice. And the only thing standing in your way of doing numbers is marketing. Time won’t wait.
Hey Har-old, future father of the year, you know how they say you should imagine a audience naked when giving a presentation to relieve nervousness? Well, what about when you’re mad at them, upset, angry, and your inner serial killer is inspired? I got something for you … Imagine them as babies! Children make you smile, right? Happy, huh? All playful, say? Okay, put this in practice. Next time someone tries you, picture them as kids in your mind and all that bloo bloo blah blah is really goo goo dada. Try it!
Remember you can’t control people and their actions but you can control YOU AND YOUR REACTION. React to a “grown-up” as you would to a toddler. Then they can do no wrong. You can’t go wrong. This visualization is key to mastering your emotions 🙂
Har-old, you remember 5 years ago when you shared with co-workers how economical you are with your finances then they asked, “Why are you saving money? Is it for a car? A house? School? A hooker?” Like, you need a reason to save money! Like, you can’t do it just because, you know. Just because it’s fun! Fun to see your bank account getting impressive. Fun to see that lonely dollar grow up to become a devishly handsome billion dollar bill. I love the answer you gave them. “I don’t know. I don’t have a reason right now. I’m sure the future me will thank me.” Haha! Thank you!
P.S. How To Gradually Live Without Your Phone is coming. I’m still working on it. I see you taking advantage of the delay by still staying up late smdh.
I wrote this letter by hand and mailed it out to you. But I also typed it out so you can read it now.
This cannot wait!
You don’t have to read the mailed letter when it arrives. In fact, you may not be able to.
The handwriting indecipherable. The style bizarre. The spelling shaky.
I’m worried about you.
And I just want you to see it in the crooked lines, the undotted I’s, the uncrossed T’s, the unclosed O’s.
I’m sorry for not writing you in 5 months. I know you concluded it to me being “busy.” Remember when I took my 1st hiatus from writing you and I said I would always have time for you? Well, it’s true! Please don’t be upset with me when I say this, but these past 5 months have been deliberate. *flinch* Please don’t hurt me! Please! I know you’re gonna blame me for your transgressions since October. Trust me, you don’t know how many times I wanted to step in and save you from a possible demise. We are one, you know.
I cannot take it anymore!
And this is really the gist of this letter. You just needed to read my words again. To know I still care about you. That I, the future you, is still burning bright.
You are bleeding. Leaking. I need to patch your wounds up. There is no coincidence about you falling apart in my absence.
I’ve read old letters and feel like I know what the disconnect is. Majority of them are more bread than meat. That’s why subsequent ones will be of actionable intelligence. Like in a list style. Steps to executing the ideas and thus bringing us closer. The 1st of these is titled How To Gradually Live Without Your Phone. You will notice these new letters to have a more personal tone as I will write them by hand first.
Paper and pen is doing it with love 🙂
P.S. No matter if it’s 10 or a thousand words, I will write you. Sometimes I get caught up in length being quality. Well, no more! Shorter letters will also allow me to write you more. Another thing I get caught up in is writing for a broader audience when the letters say DEAR HAR-OLD. Make no mistake about it, you are my biggest reader. I do not care for their “likes” and comments. For now on, there won’t be guesses to who I’m writing for.
If you’re walking, don’t run from it.
If you’re driving, don’t roll up your window.
Next time you see a Loomis money truck spew out black smoke of exhaust, put that black cloud over your head and let it enter your lungs.
One acting job, one hospital trip, and one lawsuit later …
You will have every cent in the back of that truck without a single gunshot being fired.