Why Women Won’t Rescue You From Fantasy Island

Dear Har-old,

American artist Andy Warhol said, “Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.”

You’re stuck on this deserted island.

A number of helicopters have flown by you.

Your jumps aren’t high enough.

Your screams aren’t loud enough.

Your hand-waving isn’t violent enough.

The wind has blown away every smoke signal.

The sound of an upcoming helicopter is music to your ears.

But you don’t even attempt to get its attention.

You accept your role as an ant.

But with your pair of binoculars you try to see who is in the helicopter:


As you put down your binoculars, bras land on the top of your head, panties at your feet.

It is freaking raining clothes!

They not only seen you this WHOLE TIME but now they are teasing you.

Think like women: Play to people’s fantasies.

The physical hinders the power of fantasy.

And if you do let them come close enough to touch your skin, they should comment, “Wow feels almost life-like.”

The key to fantasy is distance.

Promise the moon but never let them land on it.

Futuristically yours,



A Now Is Not A Person, Place, Or Thing

Dear Har-old,

Russian novelist Ivan Turgenev said, “The word tomorrow was invented for indecisive people and for children.”

Had Chinese yesterday. Fortune from cookie read, “If you don’t have time to live your life now, when do you?

Har-old, I Am Your Father!

So, I will tell you what Chris Rock’s father told him when he thought coming to work early was gone impress him. He said, “Chris it’s no such thing as early, you either on time or you late.”

Remember what I told you in Catch Phrases. You have to, you have to, catch yourself. Kick the habit of saying, “I can’t wait … .”

It’s a damn oxyMORON!

You’re being impatient and patient simultaneously. THINK!

How the hell can you say you can’t wait for something that you are in control of making happen NOW???


The worlds of advertising, marketing and promotion have somehow confused you and affected your ability to separate the who’s of control.

Separate control:

They are in control of when movies hit theaters, when albums hit shelves, when phones drop, when clothes hit racks, etc.

BUT YOU ARE IN CONTROL of when you want to “live.” I’m talking when you want 2 bill? When you want kids? When you want to leave Tennessee? When you want to move to New York? When you want the Yeebizan to replace the résumé?


You ARE in control of these things, no one else!

Take back your self-control.

Stop sitting in that waiting room. Put down that magazine. Knock on that door. Opportunity will open. Take off Opportunity’s mask … haha it’s you!

You was making yourself wait. Hahahaha!

Futuristically yours,


P.S. I guess a now could  be a person, place or thing…I mean you’re a person who’s trying to go places in life but can’t because you keep putting off that one thing you know you need to do…procrastinator!

A Weed By Any Right

Dearest Aezora-

S. Scott Fitzgerald actually said it best-   “Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat”

They are good words to live by no matter who you are or where you are from- especially if you live with

A world on your shoulders.  You were never meant to be Atlas- why do you pretend to be?

You reading this now, asking yourself who I am.

I wish I could tell you. I can’t really. It isn’t because I don’t want to, or won’t either, I really don’t have the ability to tell you exactly who I am.


Because not even I know exactly who I am, but I do know who you are.

I’ve been where you are, and have gone where you are going.

It wasn’t easy for me, and unfortunately it will not be for you- but I can say that you will make it.

The road ahead is going to be long and the mountains that you will climb arduous;  But you’ll make it.

Think of yourself like a lily in a pond. You are weed by any right. You’re roots plunge into the depths of the water clearing it of toxins for those that live beneath, your broad leaves provide shade and sanctuary through even the hottest of summers-  you are quick to adapt, and it seems no matter how many times you are cut down or pulled up, you come back- stronger than you ever were before.

See?  I know you well. Better than you know yourself at this point.

It is a creepy thought, I know, having someone know you so intimately- and at the same time, isn’t it a relief?

I know, more often than naught, you feel alone. You are the only one in the middle of a mountain, and you have barely enough strength to lift your eyes to the heavens one last time in repence- But you aren’t- you have family, you should learn to lean on them.

In a way- you have me now too- letters, much like this one, will find their way to you through the digital maze of our online world-  Some you will like- other’s you won’t.  They won’t always be expected, or wanted, but they will always be absolutely truthful in every way.  Sometimes- truth is the one thing we don’t get of enough in life-

Until then, I will always be Futuristically Yours,



Forgot Your Password?

password hell
Password Hell

Dear Har-old,

Australian musician Michael Hutchence said,  “It’s just as difficult to live in a self-made hell of privacy as it is to live in a self-made hell of publicity.”

You have been really giving me the Erica Albright as of lately:

“The internet’s not written in pencil, Mark, it’s written in ink.”

Do you only hear blah blah blah Har-old, blah blah blah Har-old, blah blah blah Har-old?


You take things so personal you totally MISS the words surrounding your name.

I will NOT apologize.

I am NOT changing my writing style.

I have balanced the pen on the paper well between them lines of Har-old and the rest of the world.

Yes! You ARE unique, you ARE special, you ARE different, you ARE great BUT you are relatable, kid.

I’m using that as bait, don’t you see?

Hell, if you think I’m being too “personal” in these letters you haven’t read nothing yet.

I wouldn’t dare … or would I???


But …

I got sympathy for my “old” self and I will give you complete control over these Too Personal To Publicize letters.

I will give you a password and who you share that password with is in your  total control.

But I have a feeling it’s going to be no one at all. It’s a reason why I’m calling them Too Personal To Publicize. But if you do share it, I advise people who you’re already close to or people who you want to get close to … those lucky individuals!

The only thing I will make public about these Too Personal To Publicize letters is the headline.

Now this doesn’t mean I will stop writing the standard letters. The standard letters will still be consistent.

The Too Personal To Publicize letters will be slow.


Because turning a sheet of paper into a mirror takes time.

You have been warned.


Futuristically yours,


Do Not Look Down!

Rope Knot Sculpture
Sculpture of a knot in a rope

Dear Har-old,

President Thomas Jefferson said, “When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.”

Because there is NO ground when you’re at the end of your rope.

No floor!

Lose your grip and fall forever.

Scary, isn’t it?

Pull yourself up.

Remember: Your strength comes from your struggles.

Before you know it, your feet will be where your hands was.

You’re an accomplice in your own frustration.

Think about it.

Har-old, you need a hobby…bad.

Something totally unrelated to the Yeebizan, reading and studying social media material, future planning and just everything you normally do.

You need something to take your mind off the things it’s ALWAYS on.

Your mind needs a break.

Maybe you need to start back playing video games. Or maybe, writing songs again. Maybe going out somewhere: park, club, museum, tour, a friend’s house, etc.

Or maybe you just need to create a “release” room where you can scream and break things. You know, jumping on couches, taking a hammer to the television set, punching walls, flipping tables, whatever!

Something totally unrelated will provide that much-needed fresh mind when you tackle work again.

Before you know it, your feet will be where your hands was-on the knot.

Futuristically yours,


I’m Not Just A Pretty Face …

Dear Har-old,

Actress Candice Bergen said, “Though beauty gives you a weird sense of entitlement, it’s rather frightening and threatening to have others ascribe such importance to something you know you’re just renting for a while.”

I want you to separate these women:

The woman you can tolerate listening to ONLY if you can see her face.

And the woman you can listen to regardless of seeing her or not.


Because the first one will die soon; the second one will live forever.

Look like a man; think like a woman.

Your fellow-man approaches that phrase the other way around:

They are the only male student at a all-girl-school with the teachers being ALL men.

Find a woman that invests more in her forever mind than her dying looks.

You can learn something from women if you close your eyes and open your ears.

Futuristically yours,


P.S. Stop looking at that picture!

The Most Important Thing In Life…Aren’t Things

Broken heart sewn back together
Broken heart sewn back together

Dear Har-old,

You knew the answer to that was people.

But it didn’t mean nothing to you yesterday.

Today. Today. Today.

Right now it has meaning, doesn’t it?

‘Era IS that person.

I know you’re in pain, hurt. But she didn’t do this to you. Har-old, you did this to yourself.

Get out of your own way. The most difficult thing you will ever do is master self.

Dry your eyes.

You have to do EVERYTHING in your power to NOT lose her.

Which will happen as long as the minus sign is in your name.

Remember Napoleon Hill’s secretary story? All except one promoted themselves to better jobs elsewhere. And he married the one he didn’t want to lose.

That’s going the extra mile.

You have to do EVERYTHING in your power to NOT lose her.

And that’s including doing something you don’t want to do.

You come first until the new habits become second nature. Practice +new.

That minus sign will subtract important people out of your life.

I talk to you like you another person but that’s because you ARE.

I can NOT believe I use to be you. I really can’t. It’s shocking.

Har-old, you have the power. Use it or lose it.

EVERYTHING in your power to NOT lose her.

Futuristically yours,