Oprah Owns Your Ear

Winfrey on the first national broadcast of The...
First show

Dear Har-old,

Make Oprah’s last hour your EVERY hour!!!

Futuristically yours,

Har+new

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I Bet You’re Thinking I’m Talking About You

Dear Har-old,

I know, I know, I know.

You’re a “private” person.

And journals, diaries are meant for your eyes only.

“Don’t write what you don’t want others to read,” they say.

But I’m not trying to get people interested in YOUR life.

I am trying to get people interested in THEIR life, THEIR future.

Do not be so vain!

This is about the blog’s concept; not about you, Har-old.

Sure, these letters take on a personal nature, but are broad enough to make you relatable to OTHERS.

And that is the whole point.

Remember: I started this blog based on a need of YOURS. A need to be around other like-minds.

You still want that Master Mind Alliance, right?

Thought so.

Ironically, to make FuturisticallyYours.com successful WE both have to work.

Like I said before, I will find other future versions of young people’s present selves.

Your job is to market to those young-present-selves and get them to “respect their elders.”

And by that I mean having the young present WRITE WITHOUT READING.

Tell them if they’re worried about misspelled words, grammar mistakes, punctuation errors, blah blah blah, that’s what the proofreader is for.

Okay?

Care less.

I will edit anyways.

Write with a flow!

Tell them to read what they wrote a week or two from the date. Or hey, even a month.

Because that’s when the, “Damn I wrote this!” is followed by a “Did I say that out-loud?”

WRITE WITHOUT READING!!!

Futuristically yours,

Har+new

Eating In My Face

Soul Food
Image by Jen SFO-BCN via Flickr

Dear Har-old,

The hungrier one becomes, the clearer one’s mind works-also the more sensitive one becomes to the odors of food.

There is nothing like having noise in your head and being hungry at the same time.

You hate when people eat in front of you; they equally hate being watched.

Har-old, why don’t you become the one that’s comfortable at the table?

Suck the smell in your noise.

Lick your lips … bite ’em!

Rub your stomach like a pregnant woman.

Rudely stare.

Drool like a baby.

Listen to that crunching and smacking … damn loud!

The doggish growl of your stomach scares and quiets the catty noise in your head.

Food for thought.

Futuristically yours,

Har+new

They Can’t Get Under Your Skin If It’s Thick

Dear Har-old,

Journalist Sydney J. Harris said, “If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?”

Har-old, they can’t get under your skin if it’s thick!

Become the “elephant in the room.”

Forgive but never forget.

Look constantly to the past that haunts your kitchen cabinets.

Negative criticism, jokes at your expense, disappointments, disheartening moments, disillusions, failures, losses, etc.

Though not to let them eat away at you and cloud your reason.

But to give you a “I heard it all ear,” a “I’ve seen it all eye,” a “I’ve been through it all mind.”

This will thicken your skin so much, that of the 206 bones in your body, people and things will ONLY be able to hit your funny bone.

Laugh with them … then laugh at them.

Train yourself to take nothing personal.

Do not be so vain!

Control your emotional responses.

You are a mind with a body; not a heart with a body.

Being sensitive, paranoid, defensive and subjective will thin you, Har-old.

Be the slippery soap that cannot be held: Let no one or nothing dry you up, or  keep you in their “palm.”

Futuristically yours,

Har+new

“Catch” Phrases

The waiting room day and night
Image via Wikipedia

Dear Har-old,

“I can’t wait … ”

“I don’t have time for … ”

Catch these phrases as you say them.

These phrases indirectly contribute to impatience.

Impatience is one of the from’s we are working on.

Remember: You have nothing but time!

Patience is a skill-it will NOT come naturally.

Everything good WILL happen IF you give it time:

The grass WILL grow again.

You WILL be the first in line.

She WILL have sex.

The red-light WILL turn green.

Your money WILL be together … again.

That person WILL shut up.

GIVE IT TIME!

Think of yourself as a Prisoner Of Patience.

Think before you speak.

Next time you are on the verge of saying one of those phrases, catch it and re-word it:

“I will not tolerate … ”

“I’m a busy man.”

Patience will also improve your foresight.

Often misquoted and it is no exception here: “If you build it (improve the from’s impatience and living for the moment), they will come (the to’s patience and foresight).”

Futuristically yours,

Har+new

Har-old, I Am Your Father!

Dear Har-old,

German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said, “When one has not had a good father, one must create one.”

Har-old, I am your father!

Remember: You are your own father.

Do not let yourself spend years creating yourself only to let your guard down and allow the ghost of the past-father, habit, history-to sneak back in.

Because as you grow older, you must be eternally vigilant lest you become the father you rebelled against.

Eliminate the human father!

It’s there. But intensify your dislike for him!

Hate his cunning, his “gift of gab”, his drinking and whoring, his love of wrestling, sowing of wild oats, criminality, hate the name and number and keeping it alive through your son, his “papa was a rolling stone” nature and all his other wastes of time.

Make yourself the very opposite!

You’re already honest, shy and quiet, never drinked or “whored” yourself, don’t watch wrestling as much as you use to, have no kids, never been imprisoned, have innumerable aliases, and you will be the World’s Number One Dad (hint, hint).

Move in a totally different direction.

Create your own world!

Futuristically yours,

Har+new

Bring You Back

Dear Shae,

“Look around you, look up here
Take time to make time
Make time to be there
Look around, be a part
Feel for the winter
But don’t have a cold heart”

Remember the ones you had to leave waiting while you’ve been doing your massive self-renovation.

Look up!

Remember the message from one of our favorite songs and incorporate it.

A must!

Futuristically yours,

“Looking back at you”

two YOU's in future