Tag Archives: creative writing

You Ain’t So Tough (WordPressident #15)

You ain’t so tough
Without your boys
You ain’t said much
What’s all that noise?
I ain’t me when I’m hungry (stop snickering)
And you ain’t you when you’re with your homies
Played the dozens when you had strength in numbers
But when them eggheads was eight miles yonder
You lost control over the 1’s and 2’s when son asked you, “what you say about my mama?”
What ya say, what ya say? Un-huh, “un-un”
Went from a, my mum blew to a mumble
What happen to the W when you had double you’s? I wonder
The man in the mirror moonwalked without a stumble
The glass shattered into a puzzle
The chrome won’t give the explorer an edge over the firefox in the safari, come to
You draw a blank and hundreds of tabs puncture with punctuation
Ay, Caramba! I could rumble, punch your face in, launch your space men
Keyboard warriors with 3, 4 multiple guess why they call it account
Guess why they call it amount
I let you kids throw rocks at my truck
Don’t stop and just truck
‘Cause if I did not y’all are fucked
Won’t have a chance
It’s all downhill for you but an uphill battle for me defending this Avalanche
Like that ain’t what happen man!
I won’t ever rest, or nap again
“Say that again!”
You kittens gotta be kidding spitting how a Siberian tiger should be kicking his writtens
Hissing “It should’ve been the Sierra Altitude Edition …
because of the, you know,” mannnn listen
Pulled you aside when you got beside
Yourself, Team I
Got ya one on one, one by one where you reside
But it really be like …
One bye, two bye, three bye
These guys were seaside
To make it look like a shark attack
Their jaws were at where Jaws was at
Bruce, they called him that before I fed him arms and legs and all of that
But now it’s Bruce Bruce, small and fat
Baby Shark gone have to doo doo doo doo
all the crap on SpongeBob and Pat or breathing how large a task when singing the song in baths?
Don’t you splash free water on my rug, that’s Persian purchased with Paul Manafort money
Something you can’t afford dummy
Man avoid junkies
Pimp hand escort honeys
To the therapist for her neck massage
“Long day at the desk, corsage”
Daisy allergic to lilies
Perfectly silly
L’Oreal, Maybelline, oh what a find!
Rihanna got her own line
Foundations ain’t basic take your time
I wish you could make up your damn mind
Maybe MAC can come out with a MacBook
And you care less about your apple bottom getting fast looks
From men who gave another woman their last, Cooke
Is yours but peep, how the irony unfolds the crease
Wife found the way to your heart, not on the roads or streets
Here comes the airplane through your stomach, with more on the stove to eat
Gross indeed to think about eating groceries with a PINK label
Think stable that’s a mistake bul
Gets a no from me
Your wife is the real rare one … if you sold on Queens, hold and squeeze, and don’t let go for green, go on green … vroommmmm

YouTube update in the comments.

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“You got 100 likes for the first time” (temp post)

That was the message I woke up to this morning from YouTube. But wait, there’s more! I just crossed the 17K mark on my video. I have over 70 comments. And since the drop of this video I gained 24 more subs. And I’m receiving very nice comments from people telling me how they shared the video in different forums. Even a heart to heart with a person who said watching funny videos keep him from crying which matches why I make them in the first place. Yes, I’m doing this to eventually make money, but I wouldn”t love what I’m doing if I’m staying up all night until the next day editing videos without compensation. Right now the aforementioned activity is more valubale than money. I’m really emjoying this. It’s actually getting to the point where I am receiving so many back to back comments I’m thinking about turning notifications off as people are having heated debates. I should hit 20K by next Monday.

My WordPressident poem done and will post tomorrow. The 6 year anniversary of me writing Passport Bear is coming too.

Stay consistent in whatever you do!

One day soon I will post how I just hit the 100K mark … then million … then Google is my employer.

Sidewalks of New York (Part Two) 🎊🌉🗽

No more trashcan bonfires for the shivering
We warming ourselves up by the torch of the Statue of Liberty …

This side of the family I don’t mess with (oooh)
But I still got everyone presents (ahhh)
All I got from them was their gift of gab (oooh)
A bunch of questions I didn’t wanna unwrap (ahhh)
People, people, people, people (everybody, everyone)
People, people, people, people, (finish him, kill me now, I’m done)
From baby coo coo to crazy coo coo
When you steal Christmas Mr. Grinch can you take me too?
It’s Christmas morning 8AM
The time looks like a snowman, 2 snowballs, wait a min
Not a creature was stirring
They spent their day out the rat race wearing
Red nose from Walgreens
Breakfast in bed, spooning coffee
Thanos I know you loving this jingle
But can you tap your feet, nod your head, anything but snap your fingers

Oooh ahhh
The sidewalks of New York
Oooh ahhh
The sidewalks of New York
Oooh ahhh
The sidewalks of New York
Where is everybody?
There-there-there-there-there-there-dadaaaaaaaaaa

The days between Christmas and New Years Eve
My WTF days of the week
SS stands for stop swearing, cursing
Let’s get them New Years Resolutions started early

Western culture
Says if I don’t kiss at the stroke of
Midnight it will ensure a year of loneliness
Good, because I should’ve stayed home for this
I need some elbow room
I need some leg room
We neck-and-neck
These spiked walls are closing in
I’ll be dead soon
I’ll go quietly and become a part
Change the “if” with “when” in “If these walls could talk”
Can you say New York City?
What ya say?
Can you count backwards with me?
What ya say?
I need you to freeze at zero
2019 no negative nothing, vibes, energy, people
What ya say, what ya say?
What ya say, what ya say?

From the tour bus
I hear oooh, ahhh
The sidewalks of New York
Is something to watch
Turn the tube off
Get some corn to pop
People, people, people, people I wanna see whose stars
Coins in the street performers food jar

Can you, and you, say New York City?!
(Downtown never looked so pretty)

Which SONY is your favorite one?

Pleasure Bunny (Pleasing Bunz)

I like to … too
I like to … too
I like to, you
I want the DRAM (aye!)
But I get the drama
Wanna Sprite Cranberry
But I get the wine LeBron saved for year seven
Feed me the grape fresh out of surgery
Fan me with a marijuana leaf
Clip my toenails with your teeth
More than an hour-glass figure on the beach
The hour-glass is comprised of two bulbs don’t ya see?
Which represent the bright ideas in her career, she didn’t take two weeks
She give ‘em out, give it out, give it out, give it out, give it out, and I’m a hard worker to say the least (speech!)

Fuck me like a pornstar, be my pleasure bunny
Fuck me like a pornstar, say my pleasure honey
Fuck me like a pornstar, you put the U in cumming
Fuck me like a pornstar, keep the big O in coming

Fuck me like a pornstar, be my pleasure bunny
Stiff competition from millions of other sea men Easter egg hunting
But I won the sack race listening to Christian’s advice
Turn the other cheek, make sure you get my bad side

Try to log in
Scream my username
Forget the safe word
‘Fina can make it rain

Tell me you hate me
Run up my walls, make me
Run up the walls, run-away me
Ask me where I’m going, bring me back home safely
Wait a minute, let me get it together, boy, just break me
It’s soaking
I uhhh think you broke it
Throw in the towel
Ding-ding, I tap out (wow, just wow)

The sock on the door wasn’t the sock in his pants
Lick a sticky note and put it over the webcam
This icky ain’t for the world to see
This ain’t for the, this ain’t for the world
This icky ain’t for the world to see
This ain’t for the, this ain’t for the world
The tissue on her shoes wasn’t the tissue in her bra
Put out-of-order on the bathroom stall
This flood ain’t for the world to see
This ain’t for the, this ain’t for the world
This flood ain’t for the world to see
This ain’t for the, this ain’t for the world

It’s been a long day
She put the carrot in the wrong place
Pleasure Bunny please take Jack Frost away
Warm me up with creamy hot cocoa that’ll drive me loco
I can melt in your hand, I can melt in your mouth, where you want it?
She said the rabbit hole and I condoned it
We made ourselves a little elf
It’s been a long time coming, let’s take that off the shelf

That’s a big eggplant emoji you sent boyyyyy
text text text
That’s a noice phat peach emoji you sent girrrrrrl (grrrrr)
text text text

Take my shirt off, around my hand twist it
Like a helicopter over my head spin it
Smack my freak-a-leak on the ass with it
You better get, get, gone and get it
This one’s for you, this one’s for who?
Us-us-us (get some!)

Sidewalks of New York (Part One) 🗽🚶🏽‍♂️

I’ve been feeling melancholy lately/
I pass a thousand people on the street everyday and yet still feel isolated/
When I politely tell them they should say “excuse me” for knocking me off course/
They say “excuse me” but it’s in a very different tone of voice/
“I’m sorry” vs “you sorry”/
The only person that knows you in this big city is the one who took your wallet

I feel so alone
On the sidewalks of New York
But I feel so at home
On the sidewalks of New York
Don’t need ya taxi ride
On the sidewalks of New York
I need the exercise
On the sidewalks of New York

Resting my forehead against the train’s rattling window/
To keep from falling asleep and missing more than my stop, keys, phone, CC info/
If I wanted to be stripped I would lean over there on that big pole/
Which I’m going to do if you sit close in your trench coat/
Do you see “stupid” written across my forehead?/
“Before you transferred the word to the glass, umm, oh yeah”

I feel so alone
On the sidewalks of New York
But I feel so at home
On the sidewalks of New York
Don’t need ya taxi ride
On the sidewalks of New York
I need the exercise
On the sidewalks of New York

Got my weed from the coffee cart guy/
He wraps it up in your pretty newspaper headlines/
Do my best Stallone impression with food in my mouth/
Give me a hotdog and I can make Talia’s head turn when I Adrian shout/
I like to feed the rats my cheese pizza/
I still ate my bagel after Rachel grabbed the gap between lawyer and paralegal

My me time is all the time
Grand Central, Atlas
My me time is all the time
Delacorte, 42nd
My me time is all the time
Fifth Avenue, Williamsburgh
My me time is all the time
Metronome, Bathman’s Sidewalk burr

That’s cold man …

Damn Your Life is Beautiful (My Instagram Story) 📱❤️

You use to live at 20 Ingram Street, correct?
Now you live on some little silly web address
What happen to the responsible boy raised by his Uncle Ben?
The only dead one you care about now last name is Franklin
Instagram becomes Insta-Grammy when you post
We tap our fingers on your photos
The red-hearts are coming
The red-hearts
The red-hearts are coming
The red-hearts
But no love, no glove
That’s Tennessee rules

Damn your life is beautiful
Damn my life
Damn your life is beautiful
Damn my life
Damn your life is beautiful
Damn my life
Everybody and they grandma “likes”
But I can’t get those who watched tv in black and white, to give my heart some color now that ain’t right

You use to live on some little silly web address
Now you’re living like the real life Tony Stark, and looking like him too, got a hole in your chest
That venom you upload what people marvel
It’s sad because I thought you were a good man like Martin
Instagram becomes Insta-grappling for your submissions
We tap-tap to let you know you are winning
You’re red-hot this morning
You’re red-hot
You’re red-hot this morning
You’re red-hot
But no glove, no love
That ten you see rules

Damn your life is beautiful
Damn my life
Damn your life is beautiful
Damn my life
Damn your life is beautiful
Damn my life
Everybody and they grandma “likes”
But I can’t get those who watched tv in black and white, to give my heart some color now that ain’t right

It takes a lot to get me mad
But when your notifications appear I click so fast
Broke my thumb’s nail when I saw your thumbnail
When I go live you go live
That’s why all my posts are of my eyes
Read a comment saying they see crazy in ‘em
And asked for a follow back
I said I only follow people with profiles that got their location in ‘em
And lost the only follower I had

Log out log out log out log out the fire 🔥

Wedding Ring In The Gym Bag 💍💼

Wedding ring in the gym bag /
While I knock beach sand out the punching bag /
With the finger the tan line is at

I didn’t get on 1 knee to make you get on 1 knee to kiss a ring you bought with your wealth /
You said you will love me through sickness and health /
So I thought your heart-shaped lips clicking the waistline of my ring finger would stop it from looking pale /
Lightskin, lightskin, well, wail, whale

You don’t care about the muffin top on my ring finger, you care about the one that’s on my body /
You worked it out in your head “the only time a man takes his wedding ring off is in the gym” to see if he still got it

Sloppy or hottie, I never let ‘em see me sweat /
After we got married, I stopped singing on the treadmill so can’t another woman tell you how my voice sound when I’m talking during sex /
Yes! Yes! Yes!

Ain’t believing nothing I say I see /
Mobile around my mobile when I’m not local, hacking my iPhone’s Face ID

So know when I ask you who you gone be for Halloween I’m going to town /
Be like me, fling your ring when you go ding ding and find out life’s a beach when you drown /
Some Dundee put in quicksand when I left out /
And you want me to help pull you up but wanna be picky about /
Which hand I use like I’m the butler from Hell’s House /
I’m a big boy, I can watch Scary Movies by myself now

Deuces