Tag Archives: dating

Get your ass in the car

I said get your ass in the car, Lizzy

Put my suit jacket over the cold shoulder she gave me

Over the cold-shoulder-dress she’s looking hot in

Hand on the small of her back leading her while letting her be the leader

She’s two steps ahead but I’m on her heels

Other hand getting the door

Pulling her by the hair mid-squat in the car

Putting her hair behind her ear, caressing her chin, lightly choking her, tilting my head since I got the bigger nose and pinning her tongue down

Her eyes remained close for another 3 seconds after the muah like it was the kiss of death

Her knees buckling

Hand on the small of her back slowly rubbing her ass and thighs before hooking her at the popliteal to pick her up

Dropped her on the leather seats to the sounds of creak and squeak and crunch and scrunch as she fixed her dress in the doorway

Peered through the rear windshield to see was Jane Doe gone be ex or be next

I victory flexed, whispery yes, when I saw her leaning over cheating during the door test

Necktie wrapped around my head in a cancer awareness ribbon knot

They’re not shades, they’re not sunglasses, they’re alien eyes

Sleeves of my buttoned-up rolled to the forearm

First two buttons undone makes it a V-neck

Leather gloves on steering with just two fingers

Holding my beer with two fingers

Driving with an elbow out the window

My hand just above her knee

Her leg shaking

Everything she saying has a vibration in it

But she never once asked, “are we there yet?” ‘cause she likes the long rides

The windows fogged up

And reappeared something from when they were last fogged up … Har+new

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Greatest Revenge Ever Backfired: Horny Men Sent To His Ex’s House End Up In The Big House With Him

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“I’m a senior lady who is looking for some fun and adventure in my life!! Would like to meet a gentleman in his 50′s that is Hung and that can give me some pleasuring.”

Excerpt from a Craigslist ad a 61-year-old man wrote impersonating his 64-year-old ex-girlfriend to invite a string of horny middle-aged men to her home for “pleasuring.” The ad featured nude photos of her as well. If that wasn’t enough of an invasion of privacy, her address was also included in the ad in which the horny men used to find their way to her home. After too many knocks on her door, rings of her doorbell, and rocks thrown at her window, she found out why they had come to her home, then posted signs on her fence that read, “People who are here in response to ads on Craigslist are un-invited and are trespassing.” When the trespassing continued she reported these men to federal agents. 33 men were arrested and charged with trespassing of private property. The ex-girlfriend said she had to “frequently, often several times a day, chase away the men who have been enticed by these personal ads.” The agents also arrested her ex and charged him with felony stalking.

The move that motivated the ad was when the woman put a restraining order on her ex after he continuously harassed her after their 6 month relationship ended. But the woman said she became happy when she realized the ad will probably be his last attempt at revenge on her. From police, she learned her ex was “sexually assaulted” in prison by those SAME men he sent to her house. She said she visited him in jail to get the last laugh “behind the glass” but that quickly turned into tears. And not from joy. She said, “He was smiling the whole time I was laughing. It was messing with my mind. He’s suppose to be mad. Upset. The irony behind it. His greatest revenge backfired. When I asked him, why the hell is he smiling after he was fucked by the same men who he sent to fuck me? He said, ‘I made him hate women and after our relationship ended he became … gay.’ “

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Has an attempt at revenge ever backfired on you? *Answer in the comments*