Tag Archives: family

Mama You Can Do It

Sitting on the kitchen floor in my panties and tee its 3:54 in the morning
Eating ice cream with the refrigerator door halfway open
I’m hoping my daughter don’t walk-in on me rummaging through the trash, no, no, no
Rum age? What I’m looking for is 2 days old
Wednesday and Thursday marked out on the calendar but so
I’m about to lose this game of tic tac toe, oh ohhhhhh

Mama you can do it
Please just go back to bed
Before you end up puking
I’ll hold your hair if it comes to it
And if you must sleep by the toilet
Little spoon will hug you from the back
You can tuck me in again when you’re sober
No, you can’t come in my friend, mama said no hangovers

Dad, I know what you are thinking
But this time mama wasn’t drinking
She swerved to avoid hitting a wolf
I wish she did after what it did to little red riding hood
We spared its life
Least it could do is stop these pigs from treating my mama like a kid, saying ABC’s, walking in a straight line

Mama you can do it, do it, do it, do it

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Here Come The Mama With Her Babies

Can I go with you?
My clothes won’t do?
I went up to my room and changed like you told me to
I was singing “skirt skirt” from my favorite song
When I heard “skirt skirt” in real life, your car was gone
No, no, don’t go, I beat on the window
Yeah yeah to mama’s “there there” don’t lie to me like he did, tell me did you know, where you involved? yes or no?

My daddy played a trick on me, my daddy tricked me
It’s been 8 hours, tell me do you miss me?
My daddy played a trick on me, my daddy tricked me
It’s been 9 months, tell me do you miss me?
My daddy played a trick on me, my daddy tricked me
It’s been 18 years, do you even remember me?

Get, get, get, get out the way please
Here come the mama with her babies
Get, get, get, get out the way please
Here come the mama with her babies
1, 2, 3
A, B, C, E, Z
1, 2, 3
A, B, C, E, Z

Only big people can go?
But dad I’m not a little person no mo’
Come and see mama had to mark another line on the wall
She say I look like you,
And I act like you,
But why do I need to be big and tall like you when sitting on your shoulders will do?
Like to pretend I’m washing your hair while I’m up there
Making TV static noise, little sister looking like “hey, no fair”

Come on, come on, come on daddy
Come on, come on, come on daddy
Come on, come on, come on daddy
Catch up slow poke we leaving ya
Funny, he’s the one who ended up leaving us

Get, get, get, get out the way please
Here come the mama with her babies
Get, get, get, get out the way please
Here come the mama with her babies
1, 2, 3
A, B, C, E, Z
1, 2, 3
A, B, C, E, Z

Stay with me, play with me
I don’t want a new dad
Stay with me, play with me
I miss how we use to dance
Stay with me, play with me
Mama tell me “no” so loud
Stay with me, play with me
Daddy tell me “yes,” his voice way down
Stay with me
Play with me
Stay with me
Play with me
Stay with me
Play with me
Stay with me (stay with me)

I’ll Call Your Name When You Vacuum (WordPressident #14)

Image via @TheSims
I’m blowing text text text in bubbles,
They tell ya failure,
I’m in trouble,
Swimming 6 feet is a struggle,
Hasselhoff hustle hustle,
You say you, you know me
Blue-blue-blue, blue-blue-blue, blue-blue … blue
Mr. Blankman finish my sentence for me
Started with me wanting the boys to wonder, “Is her bikini bottom real?”
Ends with me finding out Bikini Bottom’s real
Hello, hell low
Sharks circling SquarePants is The Shape Of Water, acute
I am fibbing on the triangles and should octagon before they channel me into a mute
Turn it up mama your baby on TV blink at 182
When I go Down Under tell my little sister I went to Australia and when the water changes color tell my little brother I pee’d in the pool
I love you, you and you
And I promise I’ll see you all very soon
Next time you clean your room
I’ll call your name when you vacuüm
Whatever you do, don’t go looking for me in the front or you’ll be the one living in a vacuüm
Boom!
It’s not over until the fat lady sings
“In your Krispy Kreme dreams”
Boom boom room!

FY,

Har+new

Kiss Peace 💋 🕊

 

Toys Я Us Tribute (Sims 4 Seasons)


A few things …

  • Besides the upcoming posts I mentioned in (crazy how that ends with the word the post begins with) In Your Krispy Kreme Dreams I have some cool posts (even video) I’m working on about Catfishing and Ciara

  • May 4th was suppose to be the last day I blogged on here seeing as it was my 7th anniversary, and me being a numbers guy I believe 7 is the number of completion, which is why I published 7 times that day. Then out-of-nowhere came Computer Love. Come to think about it I didn’t think this through because just a few days before my blog anniversary I paid another $18 for my domain for the year. Maybe I will continue on here until it comes up for renewal again? I feel like if I devote the same energy and efforts on YouTube as I do on WordPress I would be further in life. The end for me on here is still coming soon mainly because of that. As a minor, I want to for-once-and-for-all cut ties with my blog-stalkers. I do realize once I come up with my channel focus it will be tacky to post certain stuff and plus everything can’t be a video, therefore, I will still have a new blog where I can write my ass off.

  • Passport Bear page is updated (Did you catch the cameo in this post?)

  • See how me and my daughter coordinating?

  • I got Sims 4 Seasons half off.

  • I’m about to watch Molly’s Game. Do I smell a review?

Wordpressident #12

Waves crash into hourglass
Life’s a beach with sand between your toes you harp
Or life’s a bitch when you step on something sharp


Ferris wheel lights when dad carrying you on his shoulders doesn’t meet the required height

Scoop of ice cream falling out the cone in slow motion, splat

Because my baby thought it was a upside-down head wearing a birthday hat

A child’s melting ice cream makes up the white lines in the street

Her ice cream cone the traffic cone

I kneel for my young and tell her the streets were paved with the heart of gold

To pick up the pieces I hustle man

Move my feet to the saxophone with the kazoo stuck to it

Kick a bar of gold to Kimchi

“Daddy, why did the free-range chicken cross the road?”

Why?

“To get to the other sides.”

I guess you didn’t like daddy’s raggedy ass peas?

“Everything else was hitting.”

Pass the peas like we use to do.

“Did you say pass the peas like you use to do?”

I say pass the peas like we use to do.

“Whoa! Pass the peas like we use to do!”

I grab the pea from the microwave with my thumb and my index and passed it to the doctor at the head of the table. Bowed my head, said grace, “God please don’t let him ask for the deviled egg too.”

Ehh, what’s up doc’?

“Honey bunny, you know it’s bad table manners to talk with food in your mouth.”

I spit the carrot pieces in her hand

“Mr. Bunny, I’m sorry, forgive me for not having a petite appetite, but if I don’t take this off your plate I take off my white coat and throw it over your body.”

My boo caught the Holy Ghost just from hearing that

“Baby, we already made our Miracle On 34th Street and she need you present in her life. I’ll support you if you get sacked from your job for needing more than 2 weeks. I don’t like football no way and the effects of being sacked. What you have in the sac won’t affect what we have in the sack.”


Then I woke up.

3 Reasons Why I Didn’t Start Playing The Lottery After My Uncle’s Winnings

I didn’t want to write this. I didn’t want to write this because I don’t want to be responsible for my uncle having 964 new cousins. But I have to write this. I have to write this to flush these annoying thoughts out of head in hopes of this shit sticking to the page. Thoughts like, “If I had that money I would buy this, I would buy that. I would do this, I would do that.” Why the hell am I counting and spending another man’s money?! I only did this probably twice in my life and the thoughts were in passing, but this time it’s been consistent ever since I was told. I know of millionaires and billionaires, but the key words are “know of.” I don’t truly know them. I never met them. I don’t know if they look like their pictures, if they’re shorter in person, if their breath stink. But this hit closer to home. A home I’ve been to countless times. A home I’ve spent the night at. A home I’ve spent holidays at. A home with a backyard I’m scared to go in because of a big ass black dog named Missy. Please, somebody tell me! What is this phenomenon called? Where something impactful (bad or good) happens to a relative and you think it happened to you too, like y’all share the same body, the same mind, the same lifestyle. It’s weird. And people, please take a harder look at your junk mail. I was cleaning up and shredding papers when I came across a check from a settlement payment. I was a Settlement Class Member in a class action lawsuit from the time I was employed at this warehouse. By the time I saw the check it was 3 weeks passed the 150 days I had to cash it. Only $13.07 but I needed that little money to go with some other little money to make some little big money, ya feel me? Sigh. Without further ado …

He deserved it.

He has a history of winning. In the mid 2000’s, he was rewarded $20,000 from a court settlement due to a job-related incident. Weeks after his recent lottery winnings of a half of million, he played again and won thousands. In the 90’s, he won over the heart of a woman who keeps my heart clogged up with lasagna and cheesecake: my aunt. Unfortunately, he also has a history of loss. In the early 2000’s, I lost my cousin, their first child together. 3 years ago, they were displaced after their apartment unit went up in flames.

I don’t believe in it.

The only time I ever used a coin, a key, a fingernail to scratch off a lottery ticket is when this car company sent me some mail that said if I get wam-wam-wam in a row I would win a truck. During this time I was naïve to marketing tactics companies use to get foot traffic in their store, so, of course, I got excited when I got wam-wam-wam in order. Know the first person I call? My favorite aunt. She took me to the dealership and I expected to leave off the lot in separate cars. The only thing I left with I didn’t come with was a sucker. No, seriously, they gave me some candy. I didn’t understand the symbolism behind that then, but as of writing, you better believe I do. Although, buying lottery tickets won’t break the bank it’s something I don’t want making my bank either. This has nothing to do with the horror stories you heard about past lotto winners. I’m an entrepreneur and I feel I have a better chance at selling a million scratch devices. Let me pitch you! What do you think of a newly designed coin used solely for scratching off the UV ink on lottery tickets? Instead of dead presidents and monuments no one really visits, how about on the front of the coin it’s a past lotto winner and on the back of the coin it’s a gas station? Insanely great, right? This will be your lucky coin, your lucky charm! 100 on 4 please!

It’s my way of pretending I never heard the news to begin with.

I’m not asking which convenience store he went to. I’m not asking which numbers he played. I’m not trying to act like I didn’t get mad that time he splashed water on me at the pool. I’m not trying to remind him of all the times he playfully asked me to borrow money when I was a kid. I’m not trying to sit around talking about basketball all day and how much I love LeBron James (I will confess my love for the King to any peasant). I’m not trying to educate my aunt on how dirt is more conspicuous on black cars and offer to wash her new Camaro, annnnnd ask to go for a spin in it. I’m not trying to babysit my cousin (their surviving child). My grandma never came over to my place that day and the first thing she said to me after not talking to me in 2 weeks was not “My favorite son-in-law just won $440,000 playing the lottery.” It’s none of my business! It’s none of my business! It’s none of YOUR business, woman!

Would you start playing the lottery after a family member won a significant amount of money? Why or why not?