Tag Archives: food

Taco Bell testing out turning hot sauce packets into fortune cookies

Shanghai, China – Yum China Holdings, Inc. (“Yum China,” NYSE: YUMC), and Taco Bell Corp., the world’s largest Mexican-inspired restaurant chain, today announced that they have fine-tuned a Taco Bell favorite for Chinese consumers: putting words of wisdom on the inside of hot sauce packets instead of the outside to remind customers of fortune cookies. Despite the success the brand has had since relaunching (January 2017) its first restaurant in China since 2008, Chief Executive Officer, Micky Pant, still felt like the menu was missing something.

“The menu features Taco Bell favorites that have been adapted to local tastes. We give more of a generous serving of rice in our burritos than Americans receive. We put rice in our taco salads and use soy sauce as dressing, also, including it as a non-alcoholic beverage. Hell, we even brought back the Chihuahua and didn’t cook it, but something still was barking at me,” expressed Pant. “At the time we weren’t selling Mexican fries and I was in the mood for some French fries and Burger King was the closes, being down the street. As I’m driving there I see all these red packets in the road, so many, in fact, I get out my car to clean them from the lane. They were crushed ketchup packets. So, I get there and order. They were so frea-king boring! So frea-king average! How can a place like Burger King get it right when it comes to burgers but so wrong when it comes to fries? They were disgusting! I complained. That’s when it hit me. I took another route back to Taco Bell and was combing through our hot sauce packets and there it was, ‘The road to mediocrity is littered with empty ketchup packets.’ The kind of stuff that tells you the future. Millions of people already collect our packets for the sayings, so all the more reason to tear carefully.”

To help guide customers, Pant stated the new packaging will have a empty white box on the front of the packets, which will be the location of the phrases on the inside.

In the announcement, Pant shared that them making sauce packets into fortune cookies will not hurt Chinese restaurants as much as their entire menu has hurt real Mexican restaurants since 1962. The Yums Brand had nothing but complimentary remarks for Yum’s. “We can never compete with them, okay. While we spend billions to get more than half the US population to see our commercials once a week, they never make them and still serve billions. When was the last time you seen a commercial for a Chinese restaurant?”

Have you ever seen a commercial for your local Chinese restaurant?

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Look At My Kitchen

Look At My Kitchen: May 17,2006 

A person who is a restroom is used like a cliche

A person who is a restroom is treated like shit

A person who is a restroom is always pissed off ‘cuz they’re pissed on

Follower look at my kitchen

A person who is a living room is for eyes, not hands

A person who is living room is never used

A person who is a living room shows off when the show is on

Follower look at my kitchen

A person who is a bedroom sleeps on the job

A person who is a bedroom will get enough sleep while they’re alive and when they’re dead

A person who is a bedroom painted over the writings on the wall

Follower look at my kitchen

A person who is a kitchen fries bigger fish and wash bigger dishes

A person who is a kitchen is not judged by the size of their refrigerator, they’re judged by whats in their refrigerator

A person who is a kitchen can take the heat as well as giving the heat

Follower look at my kitchen

The earth is a household that as 4 types of people in it, which one are you?

I am a kitchen – William Hughes

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

 

 

Be honest with people about their cooking on Thanksgiving … even if it increases your rent. 

Resident – Thank y’all for treating residents to an early Thanksgiving. 

Manager – You’re welcome!

Resident – I’m glad I moved here. 

Manager – And we’re glad to have you. 

Resident – My last apartment didn’t do these KIND kind of things for the community. And judging by how packed it is in here it looks like I won’t be the only one without family this year. Looks like every resident is here. Wow! Oooh yeah give me some of that dressing … and oooh the turkey too … and oooh some of those candy yams please … that too … un-huh … yes…. oooh God yes! Okay, thank youuuuu! 

Manager – Sir, where are you going?

Resident – Umm … back to my apartment. 

Manager – There are no to-go-plates. 

Resident – This the plate y’all gave me. 

Manager – There are no TO GO plates.

Resident – Aww that’s why everybody in here? Y’all want us to eat in front of y’all? 

Manager – Well, you’re the first person to try those 2 items. Would you mind telling me how they taste? And you can be completely honest, I didn’t make any of it. 

Resident – The mac-n-cheese slamming!

Manager – Wonderful. And the biscuit?

Resident – Ahhhh! Taste like a brick! I think I chipped a tooth! 

Manager – And that rent increase of $212 taste like tears coming from you! Make sure you put enough salt in it!