Tag Archives: future

Daredevil Pilots Jet Pack From Wisconsin To China And Hijacks Their Cake Delivering Flying Saucer

Photo Credit: Stomp
Photo Credit: Stomp

OSHKOSH, Wisconsin — In 2002, an inflatable wing carried him over the 12 kilometres separating the Swiss and French banks of Lake Geneva. In 2008, he became the first man to fly with a jet-powered wing across the Swiss Alps. That same year, he also became the first man to fly across the English Channel from Calais, France to Dover, UK, using a homemade, single, jet-powered wing. In 2009, he attempted to become the first man to make an intercontinental crossing – from Morocco in Africa to southern Spain – by jet-wing. He flew over the Grand Canyon in a private exhibition back in 2011. Last year, he circled around Brazil’s Christ The Redeemer statue. This past Tuesday, in his first public US flight, he flew in formation alongside the Boeing B-17, the famous World War II “Flying Fortress.”

Now, 54-year-old, Yves “Jetman” Rossy, has done something NO ONE saw coming. Especially China! The previously unidentified flying object that has been seen flying over the Shanghai’s Huangpu River in recent days that was revealed to be a remote-controlled plane being used by a local bakery to deliver cakes to customers was hijacked by Rossy. Fortunately, no one was hurt when the 3-and-a-half-foot-long, 22-pound flying vehicle came crashing to the ground.  With nowhere in the sky to hide, police helicopters apprehended Rossy back in his hometown of Switzerland. Said police aviator Kenneth Hull, “Down here, you have buildings you can hide in, boats, dumpsters, cars, just all kinds of construction. In the sky, it’s clear, where can you go? Idiot tried hiding behind a cloud.”

UPDATE: The Switzerland Police Department has just released Yves Rossy. Here’s their statement:

Mr. Rossy confessed the cake he took from the plane was, in fact, yellow cake. When we retraced and covered the grounds from China To Switzerland of his flight, we discovered he did not drop that ****

Initially outraged over Rossy’s release and prepared to sue, the local bakery and China conducted their own investigation consisting of also covering the grounds of Rossy’s flight from there to Switzerland and came to the same conclusion: “He did not drop that **** ”

Built on top of:

What was the last thing you dropped?

Advertisements

Unrealized Ideals

Hold up the mirror. Sell people their ideal self. Appeal to their better selves. Not who they was in the past. Or, who they are now. Sell them their future-self. Motivate them. Push them to greatness. They’re standing over the edge of this mediocre building. You can pull them back by discouraging them and appealing to the basest of their character. Or, you can push them so they can fly to an elevated status. *epic pause* Push ’em!

How you know I’m writing you from the year 2033? How you know I’m NOT writing you from 2012? Or better, how you know I’m not writing you from the afterlife? What makes you so confident that time is on your side? Hmmm? Har-old, if I said you only have 5 years to live, what is absolutely essential for you to do in your life? What are the top 7 things that you would have to do for your life to be complete? Will these things disappoint you if you didn’t do ’em? Your number one is How To Live Forever. Time only sides with the patient and the one who plans. #Self-Genius