Tag Archives: health

I’m still here. 

Just wanted to write quick post to anyone who still follows this blog that I’m still here.  This site is still my homepage on my laptop and bookmarked on my phone. I haven’t did anything creative since January (YouTube video). Mainly because of my weight and my struggle to get back in shape. My body has a big affect on my mind. But besides that, losing two key relationships on here discouraged me from posting consistently. Namely Chanita. I still think about her. But no use in trying to reach out again. I have always posted st least once a month since I started but last month was the first time I didn’t. This month is without a post as well (this is temporary). I plan on still making a birthday post and backdating it. Hope I can get my creativity back. I feel worthless. 

Advertisements

No Labels (My Gatorade Commercial)

FADE IN

EXT. ROADSIDE – MORNING

Slightly out-of-breath man rips label off Gatorade bottle and throws it in the middle of street. The wind blows and keeps the label at pace with the man’s footsteps. He notices. The wind picks up, causing the label to fly ahead. In the man’s mind, he thinks the label is trying to beat him to the finish line. 

Man

Oh, you wanna race?

The man runs but the wind on the roadside compared to the middle of the street seems to blow in opposite directions, as if blowing him back and pushing the label forward. The label somehow enlarges and gets stuck between two light poles. The man runs through it, ripping it in half, holding his hands up. 

Man

Yes!

When he turns around he sees a stranger running toward him with a Gatorade cooler, as if they’re about to dump it on him. The man removes his shirt as if he is prepared to fight. A white release dove lands on the man’s shoulders with a stick between its feet. The man grabs the stick and holds it in his hand as the stranger steadily approaches. 

MAN

Come on!

The stranger gives the man a Gatorade Shower while he uses the bird as soap and sings into the stick.

FADE OUT

 

EMTs Jump Man Who Thought Rapper DMX Was Being Jumped

Suits bed

Three emergency medical technicians were fined $500 and placed on a year’s probation by a New York judge for their role in jumping a passerby who mistakenly thought they were jumping 45-year-old Earl Simmons, the rapper known as DMX.

Simmons was found unconscious and without a pulse in a parking lot outside a Chinese restaurant. “As I was taking out the trash I hear a loud bark. I turn around and see this dog. It just drops on its back as if playing dead. I thought to myself, ‘oh this is too easy,’ said Sum Ting Wong, the restaurant’s cook. I pull out me trusty Katana Soultaker sword and make my move. The dog jumps up and gives me a chase. It led me to this black guy lying next to a chariot sitting on 28 inches. I call police.”

While the EMT’s were trying to resuscitate Simmons, a passerby, 23-year-old Troi Casey, mistook the exertion of defibrillators for punches. “I didn’t know that was DMX on the ground. I couldn’t see who the person was because the guys in blue was covering up the action. I just saw elbows going up and down. It was 3 on 1 so I decided to even the odds 3 to 2.”

Technically, it was 3 on 3 as nearby witnesses recount Casey grabbing Sum Ting Wong’s Katana Soultaker sword. “One of the EMT’s turns around and see the dude charging at them with the knife and did this Holly Holm roundhouse kick to knock it out his hand. Then what followed was of the greatest mob attacks since the ending of Godfather 2,” said one of the spectators.

Judge Donald Pearl said in a New York courtroom on Friday while it was acceptable for the EMT’s to defend themselves, the basis of the fine and probation stemmed from neither EMT performing CPR after Casey lost consciousness himself. To which one of the defendants replied, “But your honor we already broke a couple of ribs.”

Built atop:

What’s your favorite DMX song?