Door. The two O’s are double doors. The D-R is doctor. I don’t wanna walk into this hospital by myself. I need the sup in support. I need the port in support. A greeter who never harbored any ill feelings in our relationship and left my side. Your vessel of love is my safe haven. The reef in re-fuge. The sea in se-cur. I-T-Y. I thank you … for being a Wonder Woman and not a wandering whoa man did you see her …
Use to spell team I-A-M-E until my WW underscored the importance of U-N-I together. I achieved more working as a unit than I would have laboring at it alone. Is it baby or ba-by ‘cause some men leave when they hear the words “I’m pregnant.” Talking about they going to the store. Say they going to the store when muthafuckas like me can only find closed stores because they’re new and they need a customer to cut the purple ribbon for their grand opening. I ran before they put the oversized scissors in my hand, but while I was sprinting, I was looking back, unaware of traffic signs. My breast snapped the finish line ribbon. If I paid attention to the blueness of the Parking sign and the redness of the Stop sign I would have known purple lie ahead. Future turn on the lights.
I wrote this on Fanny Blankers 100th birthday, but I didn’t speed write. Her ghost in the wind blew out the candles. Ghost in the shell Donatello. Ghost in the machine Address Book Killer. Yellow pages logo when she walked her fingers across my waves. White pages logo my W extends her reach to make the line for the H sharp. Her name not Barbara. She wears her cape in the front.
Do I have to remind you she’s a Wonder Woman whose got it all from A to Z? But they trying to make the ampersand the 27th letter again. We championing the first, fourteenth, and fourth letters. 2nd Place and 3rd Place want some shit that looks like a ribbon. I blame the motivational speakers. They told me to take CAN’T out my vocabulary. I blame my grandma. She told me to say SIR as a sign of respect. These muthafuckas gave me CANCER!!!
Why the ribbon worm had to be pink doeeeeeee?
I expelled my proboscis because I’m being attacked. I’m under an immense amount of stress. I’m not multiplying. I’m breaking apart. If you don’t put me back in the water in the next few seconds there will be a ribbon in the sky, a worm in the dirt, a ribbon in the sky, a worm in the dirt, a ribbon in the … , a worm in the …
This fucking black cloud still follows me around too Em.
Happy 7th Blogiversary FY!!!
EXT. ROADSIDE – MORNING
Slightly out-of-breath man rips label off Gatorade bottle and throws it in the middle of street. The wind blows and keeps the label at pace with the man’s footsteps. He notices. The wind picks up, causing the label to fly ahead. In the man’s mind, he thinks the label is trying to beat him to the finish line.
Oh, you wanna race?
The man runs but the wind on the roadside compared to the middle of the street seems to blow in opposite directions, as if blowing him back and pushing the label forward. The label somehow enlarges and gets stuck between two light poles. The man runs through it, ripping it in half, holding his hands up.
When he turns around he sees a stranger running toward him with a Gatorade cooler, as if they’re about to dump it on him. The man removes his shirt as if he is prepared to fight. A white release dove lands on the man’s shoulders with a stick between its feet. The man grabs the stick and holds it in his hand as the stranger steadily approaches.
The stranger gives the man a Gatorade Shower while he uses the bird as soap and sings into the stick.
Three emergency medical technicians were fined $500 and placed on a year’s probation by a New York judge for their role in jumping a passerby who mistakenly thought they were jumping 45-year-old Earl Simmons, the rapper known as DMX.
Simmons was found unconscious and without a pulse in a parking lot outside a Chinese restaurant. “As I was taking out the trash I hear a loud bark. I turn around and see this dog. It just drops on its back as if playing dead. I thought to myself, ‘oh this is too easy,’ said Sum Ting Wong, the restaurant’s cook. I pull out me trusty Katana Soultaker sword and make my move. The dog jumps up and gives me a chase. It led me to this black guy lying next to a chariot sitting on 28 inches. I call police.”
While the EMT’s were trying to resuscitate Simmons, a passerby, 23-year-old Troi Casey, mistook the exertion of defibrillators for punches. “I didn’t know that was DMX on the ground. I couldn’t see who the person was because the guys in blue was covering up the action. I just saw elbows going up and down. It was 3 on 1 so I decided to even the odds 3 to 2.”
Technically, it was 3 on 3 as nearby witnesses recount Casey grabbing Sum Ting Wong’s Katana Soultaker sword. “One of the EMT’s turns around and see the dude charging at them with the knife and did this Holly Holm roundhouse kick to knock it out his hand. Then what followed was of the greatest mob attacks since the ending of Godfather 2,” said one of the spectators.
Judge Donald Pearl said in a New York courtroom on Friday while it was acceptable for the EMT’s to defend themselves, the basis of the fine and probation stemmed from neither EMT performing CPR after Casey lost consciousness himself. To which one of the defendants replied, “But your honor we already broke a couple of ribs.”