Tag Archives: lyrics

Slow Dancing To Rap Songs

I slow dance to rap songs, rap songs, rap songs

Gliding my fingers along the row of volumes
Turning up in my sexy Librarian costume
Shh-shh-shaking my foot, sitting pretty with my legs crossed
Ho-ho-hoping my heels come unstrapped and slip-and-slide off
Bambi eyes, elf ears, my heart’s cold
The only thing I hold near and dear is the very thing that gives me a red nose
Stolen credit cards lining up coke on my cola
Your lawyer can’t scare me with a skinny tie and empty manilla folder, soldier

The drinks came too fast
The cars go too fast
The lanes open too fast
Life’s moving too fast
Didn’t grandmama tell ya ya ya to stay away from uh them fast tail little girls? (Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya)

I slow down the words to your rap songs
Nelly baby sing it to me you got a beautiful voice why don’t you sing it to me come on baby sing it to me
I’m slow dancing to your rap songs
Eminem baby bring it to me you look like you can move why don’t you bring it to me come on baby bring it to me

Gliding along the hardwood desk with my mani-manicure
Until I have an excuse to bend over in my dress and touch my pedicure
Important stack of papers flying everywhere
Everything out of order except the vrin-vrin-vending machine
Shh-shh-shaking for my dollar
Billie Jean beat it ‘til I holla
Let the chips fall where they may
Long as when I’m able to walk again they’re all in my way, okay?

The drinks came too fast
The cars go too fast
The lanes open too fast
Life’s moving too fast
Didn’t grandmama tell ya ya ya to stay away from uh them fast tail little girls? (Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya)

I slow down the words to your rap songs
Max B baby sing it to me you got a beautiful voice why don’t you sing it to me come on baby sing it to me
I’m slow dancing to your rap songs
Loaded Lux baby bring it to me you look like you can move why don’t you bring it to me come on baby bring it to me

Where’s the fire?
Take your time
Where’s the fire?
Take your time
Baby, where’s the fire?
Take your time
Boy, take your, take your time
Where’s the fire? (Where?)
Where’s the fire? (The roof?)
Where’s the fire? (The booth)
Where’s the fiyah?

Them country boys never hurt little ‘ole me
Them country boys never hurt little ‘ole me
I put my life on the line

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Learning How To Do Taxes … Again

tax book

 

 

Dear Har-old,

Tax school.

In 2012, you had the money but enrolled in classes too late.

In 2013, you knew the start date but didn’t have the money.

This year was a repeat.

Almost.

You made it!

Don’t let nothing get in the way of your studying. Keep ripping those chapters out your book and reading on your breaks at work. I want this your last year working in a warehouse. 15K minimum on April 15, 2015. What you make invest in startups and YouTube.

At least chapter 14 by October 1st. Don’t worry about if something doesn’t completely register because you’ll still have almost 2 months more to study after classes end first week of November. You passed all your tests thus far with 76 being lowest grade so you’re doing fine.

Speaking of YouTube, you might as well coincide your launch with Fight Club 2. I mean, weight has held you down this long and this past week has been a mess with buffets and fast food. At this point why not be strategic with timing? I want a year’s worth of material (48 scripts) written before launch.

Remember this? Haha!

I.R.S those my wife’s initials.

And if I cheat on her, my life is fish food.

So I’ma remain faithful, I don’t wanna fight an issue.

Cuz shiiit, look at Wesley Snipes, that nigga gotta sleep with his knife and pistol

What a mess? The United States Government they the ones who really cut the check

I be giving her a leg and arm, ouch ouch, I want her fucking head.

Tomorrow ain’t promised, the only life guarantees are death and taxes, enuff is said

A second wife, that’s a no indeed

Think about it, that’s half to her, half to her and a hole in me

Life’s a bitch but I love my bitch, baby everythang gone be okay

I used to think the government taxed people cuz they wanted to be so paid

But they used the money to build churches, schools, stores, parks, and roadways.

Now if I don’t see this new shit while I’m driving I’ma experience road rage

The flag and the White House can go up in flames and burn

If I sound like I’m speaking Spanish, I’ll break this verse down in Laymen terms.

You wrote this as a teenager. Wow!

Futuristically yours,

Har+new

P.S. Does it make since to help your human dad with taxes when he didn’t let you borrow the money for classes last year, and didn’t come through again this year?