Tag Archives: McDonald’s

3 Salty Reasons You Miss The Fries at the Bottom of the Bag

Leftovers from this song. What, you thought I was gonna cook you up something new? Haaa! Nah, but, speaking of that post, I want to take y’all behind the scenes of its structure. It’s in 3 parts. 3 parts that symbolize the 3 breaks you get at work. The beginning is your lunch break. Then after the chorus it’s your 15 minute break. Then the outro represents the last hour of work and finally flying out that door like you should be doing right now. It’s 5. Yeah, thought went into this. I’m so strategic you wouldn’t believe it-50 Cent

You eat out the bag

“For dine-in or take-out?” “Take out.” Half-way out the door you change your mind and sit. Do you A) Turn the bag into a makeshift serving tray by ripping one side of the bag open? Or do you B) Just eat out the bag, reaching back and forth? Choosing the latter will have you throwing away a few French fry crumbs, unless, of course, you treat the bag like a bag of chips and pour the fragments in your mouth. Be sure to shut your eyes from the salt.

The color of the napkins and the bottom of the bag

From watching fast food workers bag my items over the years, I’ve noticed they always put the napkins in the bag last. I assume this is because, say, if they put them in first they may get wet with grease stains. When I eat out the bag I don’t take the napkins out; I just move them around the bag as I pick out what I want. In the end they always end up on the bottom. Restaurant napkins are what color usually? A plain brown. What color is the inside of the bag usually? Same thing. So when the napkins are at the bottom they could be covering at least 9 fries.

You are use to being skimped on fries

With McNuggets, you know there are 10 or 20 pieces. With a Double Quarter Pounder, you know it will have two beef patties. Since there isn’t an exact number of fries that’s suppose to go in the carton, the person on the fries, and you, judge them by weight and how they look in the box. If you can see any of the white and yellow stripes on the inside they aren’t full. And for God’s sake, wear your glasses when you’re doing this or the yellow stripes will look like fries. Last thing we need is you eating cardboard. Sometimes when you do get those overflowing fries two things can happen to make you feel like you still got cheated. While they’re in the bag fries can go over the top or be pushed out the holes at the bottom of the carton. Always check the bag. At least ball the bag up when you throw it away instead of leaving as is; this way if you feel anything poking from the inside you know it’s a salty snack.

And one more thing … I do got something new in the oven for y’all. SWB? WRWK? PB3? MO? Who knows. Keep this on your stomach until then.

Advertisements

McDonald’s Manager Fired For Telling Family Snow Was On French Fries After Their Child Got Salt In Its Eyes Playing With Happy Goggles

picture of hot & spicy's and french fries from McDonald's

To commemorate the 30th anniversary of the Happy Meal in Sweden, and to tie into the “Sportlov” recreational holiday, over the weekends of March 5th and 12th, McDonald’s is doing its first trial run globally of a virtual reality (VR) headset to wear while playing a skiing game the company has also help develop.

The headsets, Happy Goggles, of which only 3,500 will be made available to 14 restaurants across northern Sweden, priced at $4.15, is created by tearing some perforated edges along the iconic red and yellow Happy Meal box, folding, and inserting your smart phone. You will need a lens pack to keep your Android or Apple device in place. “The lenses come with the Happy Meal,” Alexandra Svenonius from McDonald’s Sweden told MailOnline.

The game, Slope Stars, endorsed by the National Swedish Ski Team, has a math problem you must solve before you can hit the slopes, like 9×9. Something the average kindergarten wouldn’t know the answer to. This is to ensure they get their parents permission before playing. “We try to bring education to our Happy Meals, and the answer was kind of staring us in the face,” says Jeff Jackett, marketing director for McDonald’s Sweden. “Parents can learn more about their children’s knowledge and experience of the digital world. And purposeful gaming can also be a great joint activity that helps families interact on equal terms.”

According to the Happy Goggles website, “Right now this initiative is being tested in Sweden – yes Sweden. We hope to be able to roll it out in your country soon.”

So if you’re a kid in the US or UK whose head is spinning in excitement at the thought of playing this 360 game, then you may want to do a 180 right now, as in turn your back on this article, because you don’t want to read what happened when your new favorite toy debuted today. Something that will most likely prevent the promotion from spreading to your area.

After a 4-year-old child, the first kid to actually test the toy at launch, ate their food and was a few seconds into playing Slope Stars with their Happy Goggles, they screamed, not at the sight of a bear on skis, but when salt got into their eyes. “I almost broke my iPhone trying to remove them damn goggles from her face,” said Cobb Salad, the father of the little girl. “When I asked for the manager, he came and said, ‘Ohhhh it’s virtual realisweeteeeea. That was actually snow that got into her eyes.’ I said, awwww okayyyy, let me get another happy meal, and this time, no salt on the fries. I want to make sure they’re hot and fresh. He kept that fake ‘I’m lovin’ it’ smile on his face during my request, but I knew deep down inside he had to fart like really really bad. I had him,” went on Mr. Salad. “So, 20 minutes turned into an hour. An hour turned into two. Two turned into three. Three into four. Now I’m working part-time there. It don’t take that got-damn long to fix freaking French fries. Every time I asked what was the hold up he kept directing me to McDonald’s website where it showed a small amount of salt may be transferred from the bin and how he wanted to make sure none was present.”

Mr. Cobb said after considerable time passed the manager finally broke down and apologized. “It took him 5 hours to tell my family he was sorry. He not only lied, but wasted our time. We could have been anywhere doing anything. Somewhere doing something. Everywhere doing everything. And he still gave me a large fry with salt before we left, but it was free though, and he said, ‘it counts but don’t count.’ What does that even mean? This is totally unacceptable.”

Unacceptable it was, as McDonald’s not only fired the manager but pre-ordered an Oculus Rift VR Headset for each member of the Salad household, (17, although, only 4 was present at the restaurant during the time) and put “Eat the crumbs” in red crayon on the napkins inside the other 3,499 limited edition Happy Meal boxes. With this being the only reported incident, thus far, it’s working.

We’ll keep you updated throughout the week if it doesn’t. Promotion ends March 13th.

Built atop:

Does it count but don’t count?

Would You Like Some Fries With That?

FADE IN

INT. MCDONALD’S – AFTERNOON

EMPLOYEE
Yes sir, how may I help you?

CUSTOMER
Yeah, I want 2 Hot & Spicy’s; one regular, other buffalo ranch.

EMPLOYEE
Okay, that will be $2.19

As the customer waits on the preparation of his food, he overhears the manager talking to a customer in the drive-thru.

DRIVE-THRU
My food was cold!

MANAGER
Mam, I can replace the fish sandwich but I can’t replace the fries; it’s only 3 left in here. Why did you eat them if they were cold?

DRIVE-THRU
I want some hot fries or I want my money back!

MANAGER
I can replace the fish sandwich because it was intact but you only left 3 fries in the box.

DRIVE-THRU
And if you touch them you will feel how cold they are!

MANAGER
Maybe it’s because it’s been 15 minutes since your original visit?

DRIVE-THRU
Nah, McDonald’s use that special industrial grease that keep your food hot a long time; y’all just gave me some shit out the freezer.

MANAGER
Mam, I’m sorry, McDonald’s policy is to not replace food that’s been consumed or a shell of its former self. But, you know what, I will give you a free small fry.

DRIVE-THRU
I had a muthafucking large!

EMPLOYEE
Sir, here’s your 2 Hot & Spicy’s.

CUSTOMER
Thanks!

As the customer walks off the McDonald’s parking lot, right where vehicles enter and exit, a big truck doing the latter, almost runs him over. Fortunately, the roaring engine and his peripheral vision saved his life. However, he was still angry, upset enough to throw one of his McChicken’s through the truck’s rolled down windows, hitting the driver smack in the face. Frustrated. He walks back into McDonald’s.

CUSTOMER
I need to replace a Hot & Spicy!

EMPLOYEE
Why?

CUSTOMER
I had to throw one at that lady that was just in the drive-thru for almost running me over.

Overhearing this, the manager comes to the counter. Knowing he couldn’t see the makeup of the vehicle or its occupants because of the wall barrier between the drive-thru and register area, she is curious.

MANAGER
How did the vehicle look?

CUSTOMER
It was a hulking grayish SUV.

MANAGER
Who was in it?

CUSTOMER
An older woman was driving. A man was on the passenger side. He had a blue hat on. There was a younger girl in the backseat with braids in her head. And it looked like a baby seat was next to her.

MANAGER (smiling)
Would you like some fries with that?

CUSTOMER (smiling)
Make ’em hawt!

FADE TO BLACK

Titles to upcoming posts:

  • Shade But No Shade

  • Closed Curtains

 

Burger King Gets In Touch With Charles Ramsey Before McDonald’s And Gives Him A Lifetime Supply Of Whoppers … With Cheese

McDonald's Charles Ramsey
Image via McDonald’s Twitter account

After getting free publicity from a viral interview and 911 call, thousands of people have urged McDonald’s to do something for Charles Ramsey, the Cleveland kidnap “hero.” To honor him, some fans of Mr. Ramsey have bought Big Macs in droves, although, he never disclosed that was a part of his “lil’ McDonald’s.” Others have argued Mr. Ramsey “looks more like a rib man” and have urged McDonald’s to bring back the McRib and call it the “Ramsey McRib sammich.” To stop the blowing up of their mentions, McDonald’s posted the tweet you see in the above picture.

As of press time, McDonald’s still hadn’t met with Mr. Ramsey.

Disgusted by the slowness of McDonald’s and pissed their rival had the unexpected spotlight shined on them, Burger King chairman, Alexandre Behring, has offered Charles Ramsey a lifetime supply of Whoppers … with cheese!!! Which is incredible because that’s 10 cents extra!  When we asked what he thought of Burger King giving him Whoppers until he die, Mr. Ramsey said, “Aye bro’, Deaaadddddd giveaway!!!”

Update: After hearing news about Burger King introducing a rib sandwich for their summer menu, Ramsey now wants that to replace the lifetime supply of Whoppers. Guess he was a “rib man” after all.

Built on top of:

What do you think of Burger King jumping in the mix?