Tag Archives: memes

Joy Lenz (WordPresident #17)

Digging my grave with a spoon and fork
A shovel looks like a spoon
A rake looks like a fork
But this the spoon I use to stab the cereal with before eating it
This the fork I use to put 4 bullet holes in the film on the Salisbury steak to vent it
Sausage party at my tombstone
Pepperoni face at my tombstone
Cheesing hard by my tombstone
Sausage party at my tombstone
But it ain’t nothing pineapple about that because onions on my tombstone
And they ain’t cheesing hard by my tombstone
To you little caesars, call her pepperoni face one more time, you all fall like dominoes
Wash ‘em with a clean punch
Sounds like the kind of prom Papa John would Red Baron
My baby gotta be fly all around, shit
But if you make me a granddaddy before I turn 80 you forever groun…ded
Give Kunta Kinte your feet
Whip ya like JC After D
I knew I should’ve put your ass on B.C.
Ohh Lawd! Got me failing the spelling bee
I was just teaching you how to say your ABC’s
Went from being my apple head to being somebody’s apple bottom
But you cumming and not leaving is the problem
I got ‘em
I solve ‘em with solutions on a so-so loot man
I salute and ask for bigger problems only if God him got him and it comes with that So-So loot man
Money is a thang, Black accent
Money is a thing, white accent
Money is a tink, Irish accent
Depending on the denomination I sound different putting my money where my mouth is
Shout this … oh no! You have AirPods on and can’t hear me
Strangle you with my EarPods to see which will be the first to fall out near me
Fear me, keyboard warriors think they tough as leather and can get me from Curry long distance
Until I bounce and travel to where they lay up and show ‘em what a real currier is man
Flurries of hits bam
Do you even remember what I said earlier listen?
I’m bringing the beef to your front door
The crust to your backdoor
When I’m done you gone have to Dodo out your side-door
No more locked doors
I’m joking, this now a bad neighborhood
Took a L in your homes, essay in the papers sug-
-ar made him open up, swollen shut, tried to spit out the bitterness, silliness, it’s too late fam’
The walls closed in on the Kool-Aid man
Not a repeat of events what I’m saying
First the glass was everywhere
Then the red liquid is everywhere
Or!
First the glass was everywhere
Then the red liquid is everywhere
That’s two ways planned
Two-face scram
Gym and I? Outta here!

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Shade But No Shade (Blog Wars #1)

If I’m going to die, my last activity will be doing something I love: writing. I’m an English Major, you know.

My name is UnKaren.

My boyfriend just kicked me out.

NYC is not cheap.

No, I don’t have family.

The money I saved from working retail was spent on a New York PATH subway car.

To save on fuel, I parked in the shade of a tree, but Jason-masked-Timberland-wearing thugs vrin vrin cut it down. This happened every time I found a new tree. Where is the lucky tree stump from the Apollo when you need it?

Consequently, I started searching for buildings to protect me from the shade, and each time, the first episode of my favorite TV show (can’t name one; I am a TV junkie) flew a paper plane into it.

So now here I am being exposed to the sun like I need some D!

I don’t wanna die this way. What did I do to deserve this?

I hear this swoosh sound in the sky and take cover because I’m thinking the first episodes of one of my favorite TV shows is about to start Wild-N-Out.

But it was a bear driving a blimp with its billboard sides saying, “Because you ignored your future.”

Then I start thinking about this blogger who I haven’t emailed back.

It’s been 10 minutes.

No, not since I emailed him.

That’s been forever!

I mean how long I’ve sat in the sun.

This lady on the outside approaches my vehicle. She opens the door and hands me a one hundred-dollar bill and says, “You have just won the hot kar challenge.” To show my commitment to NOT ignoring people anymore, I grabbed the $100 and walked to the back of my subway and gave it to this woman wearing this gray hoodie, shades, backpack, soulja girl scarf, and who was singing Home from “The Wiz.” 

Sheeeeee looks like she needs it more than I do!

The Retaliation

Titles to upcoming posts:

Suddenly, Life Happened … (blog wars #2)

Closed Curtains

K