Kiss Peace 💋 🕊
Skeletons in my closet who took forever to get ready
About time they finally put on “oh this old thing” they were casket sharp
Let’s give a big hand to The Late Har-old L. Weak, ladies and gentlemen!
Now that goes for the cheer-ren too, let me get a little hand
We meant it when we said trying our Father’s thyme on some cal and deer was gonna have ya moving your seconds hand around like ya wanted to clock somebody
Ya got Sir Wallingford on his hands and knees with Tweety Bird, Twitter Bird, Bryan Williams’ Birdman, Michael Keaton’s Birdman flying around his head
And you on your damn hands and knees for a different reason, begging please, making my flesh crawl
Boy, if you don’t …
I lied down with a dog but I didn’t get up with fleas
I woke up with what I thought was a cold sweat then I realized the company I keep
6-week-old Rottweiler, Pitbull mix I call Darkman after my favorite rapper
Licks my face when I’m sleeping like a Behr to let me know it’s time to paint the town red
Grab my coat for the sure wind
More Benjamins ‘cause X likes to live Royal
Concealed my Ace’s hardware incase I have to make these jokers PPG and get Lowe
Damn if I take any longer to get ready X gonna give it to me and have my place looking like a Shih Tzu
And I’ll only be identified by the teeth of my skeleton key, the canine, on the way out that revolving door is gonna hit you
I’m falling forever
They pulled the ground right from under my airs
I’m falling forever
Friendly skies please teach me how to walk on air
I never hurt you with my fist
My punches landed one hundred percent
I don’t know what could be worse
Then “hold my beer” is what I heard …
Don’t know how I got inside
With no ending in sight
No door to put my foot in
No window for the rain to hit up against
No corners to cut at all
Gotta crawl before I can walk
I’m tired of being lonely and googly-eyed in my search
I wish I could listen to a picture with a thousand words
It’s dark and I wanna bump into something
Maybe if I dance like Michael Jackson these paving stones will start glowing?
I’m never gonna get outta here
Because I was cool with being a hot head with a warm heart but I hate cold hands and drunk all its beer
She didn’t want him like gloves
More like tilt your head to the thumb on mittens to see a lopsided heart
Their love is 90/10; 80/20
But X still goes into Y multiple times
Let’s not talk about the 70/30 with remainders remaining remains reminding reminders Reid mind read mines
But I will audio book this … A Gemini would’ve loved to weight watch the 50/50 of the twins on the Libra scale
Life is all about balance
And I would love to be your equal
Two minus signs intersecting is a plus for the times
Just don’t leave me in pieces around you like a division symbol
Remember that line about your heart being broken the number of your age?
Well it was like Valentines cause when I blew a kiss and the wind ripped the lid I saw it was a cover-up for the 30-piece assortment of chocolate candy assorted wrong
And you remember that puzzle I helped solve? Well I got butterfingers from it
And I’m sorry about the needle piercing yours trying to sew my shirt
I’ll wash the dishes for ya
Let me just roll up my sleeves so I can go to work
You know what went through my mind when I found out we do the same thing?
How this was meant to be
How I was meant for you
How you was meant for me
You know what went through my mind when my business trip switched from Orlando to Dallas and I found out that’s your favorite city in the whole wide world?
How your Texas-sized ass was something I had to see
You know what went through my mind when you asked about my lease?
How I was gone either be in for a trick or a treat come Halloween 2016
You can call me cute and pinch my cheek all you want, but I know you’re pinching to see if I’m your dream guy and to pull on my face to see if I’m wearing a mask
Kiss Peace 💋✌🏾
While I was being baptized I saw the sole of Jesus. Is this magic? Or have I been under long enough for it to freeze? I try to get my head above water but was met with a foot on my neck. I chipped away at the cube with my forked tongue. Blew my dragon breath. The water started bubbling like the last words of a drowning victim. The first thing I hear when my crown is above water is King Fish. Yup! Y’all up shits creek without a paddle. I flipped my hair over my head, which was not easy because the water added weight, so when it hit me on the back I was sent flying. The ant wearing the suit with the sneakers thought his angel had come to save him until he recognized the fireplace in my eyes. I swooped down on my prey. He tried hiding behind his lowercase t. This isn’t a sobriety test. The alphabet won’t save you. Drunk the wine. Ate the bread. Cleaned the plate. Howled at the pale moonlight. Danced until I dropped from exhaustion. My left palm left the right and went towards the light. Long kiss me goodnight.
From that day forward, my good shoulder never disturbed my sleep in church.
My grape soda broke.
I tried to get up and piss out the shattered glass.
But I struggled to get out of bed like a pregnant woman.
No wonder they compare the two pains.
But this isn’t about a hand not wearing a mitt while taking a bun out the oven.
No, this is about a man posing with his hand on his hip like a …
My least favorite suffix is E-R.
Hospitals should run like hotels. Be caring and grant pillow mints, please!
Because, although, I had a reason to be hunched over this time, I’ve been like that on visits. I mean, old people smell funny. Gets me weak and brings me to my knees like a good laugh.
I stopped filling out the application at birthday.
The identifying information reminded me of the time that Gatorade didn’t make me feel like a champion.
That time I was paying myself a visit when I should’ve been paying my sis-sis-sister one. Grrr.
When I started thinking about the out-of-pocket expenses because I didn’t have insurance, I suddenly began to feel Grrr-eat.
I stood up, shoulders relaxed, back straighten, chest poking out and walked out of there like Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network.
I haven’t had to go back in the 7 months since but if I don’t surround myself with water like a Winklevoss twin I’ll be back before you know it.