Tag Archives: music

Dance Like You’re In An iPod Commercial

Hello Miss Lovely, paving stones light up when you walk
She don’t say nothing but, baby makes her blue jeans talk
The dirty denims she’s donning tell me they’re in a relationship with white shirt
Is there room for the genuine, the whole club was looking at her
Ghost of Bowie speeding through the dance hall like a rocket
Eight references but you got a thousand songs in your back pocket
You sound like an iPod commercial

One more thing
One one one more thing
One more
One one one more thing
Notice I said that with my thumb up

Line your white lines where your shadow is cast, curb role
And dan-dance like you’re in an iPod commercial
And dan-dance like you’re in an iPod commercial
And dan-dance like you’re in an iPod commercial
Dan-dance
Dan-dance
Dan-dance
Dan-dance
Da-da-damn, damn

I don’t know why I made the letter Y as if this cocaine was the chalk
And her skin was the black board, I just wanted the line to end where my tongue was gone be used for more than to talk
What happen to your head? You look like Dave in Back To The Future
I didn’t get high before this, I’m sure, are you sure? I’m sure
All of her features disappeared from her body
And I was overcome with nostalgia for my days in college
You look like an iPod commercial

One more thing
One one one more thing
One more
One one one more thing
Notice I said that with my index

Line your white lines where your shadow is cast, curb role
And dan-dance like you’re in an iPod commercial
And dan-dance like you’re in an iPod commercial
And dan-dance like you’re in an iPod commercial
Dan-dance
Dan-dance
Dan-dance
Dan-dance
Da-da-damn, damn

I wanna issue out a challenge
It’s kind of violent
Don’t look up from your phone until you run into a fucking pole
Slide up and down, swing round and round, nobody’s watching the fishbowl, go
Nobody’s watching the fishbowl, go
Nobody’s watching the fishbowl, go
Go, go
They’re so distracted by their new pet bird
Teaching it how to talk with no character in its words (word!)

Fly my freak flag half-staff
I killed your whole staff (funerals make me laugh kekekeke)
Pledge allegiance to me bitch
Take a knee, CLEAN UP ON AISLE SIX
Right right right where the leftover rice iz (shit!)
I got ice cream, let me muthafuckin’ skip, I got you little sis’, don’t even trip, mama ain’t sign that permission slip (you can’t go!)

One more thing
One one one more thing
One more
One one one more thing
Notice I said that with my middle finger

Fuck you!

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Loaded Lux’s Prop For Murda Mook Rematch Leaked

Total Slaughter logo

 

New York — Two credible sources confirm the prop Loaded Lux will use in his long-awaited rematch with Murda Mook at Total Slaughter on July 12th.

They spoke on anonymity, as they still do business with Lux.

We was watching the Goodz and Verb battle. Smack rarely shows the entrances, so when he introduced them to the stage I knew something special was gone happen. Verb comes out. Nothing special. Goodz comes out rocking the gold jacket Verb wore battling Swave. Lux stared at the screen with this confused look on his face then jump up and take this old dusty NorthFace jacket out. I said, what’s that, beloved? He was like, ‘This it! This it! I’m gone wear Mook’s jacket. This is just what I needed.’

The second story comes from a woman acquaintance:

Lux was going over his rounds with me. Before he started rapping, I told him to take off that hot ass jacket. He told me that it would be a part of his Wardrobe this Saturday. He told me after his first battle with Mook, the Aces Click took Mook’s jacket and it’s been in his closet this whole time. He has just been waiting for the right time to use it.

During the battle, Mook embarrassingly had to say, “I don’t like fighting,” after reciting violent lyrics when someone in Lux’s camp took offense at Mook’s aggression. In a deleted video posted on YouTube in 2007, members of the Aces Click claim to have robbed Mook after his battle with Loaded Lux. They showed off a dark-looking jacket to the camera. Loaded Lux confirmed the robbery in his song, Head Crack, spitting “2 winters later, you ain’t get your coat back yet.”

UPDATE: Murda Mook is investigating the identities of the anonymous sources to help him furthermore by getting his jacket back before Saturday’s Total Slaughter to thwart Loaded Lux’s plans.

 

 

Built on top of:
•Goodz coming out in Aye Verb’s jacket

Do you think Mook will get his jacket back before Saturday?

Potential Battle Rap Sponsor Head Trampled During Dizaster, Math Hoffa Fight

screenshot of math hoffa and dizaster battle at kotd bola5
Click photo to see the closes view of the first punch from Dizaster

A man’s head from a higher corporation got trampled this past weekend (June 28th) at King Of The Dot’s (KOTD) Battle Of Los Angeles 5 (BOLA) event during the Dizaster and Math Hoffa brawl.

The man, who wishes to keep his name and his company’s name confidential was invited to the BOLA event by Davone Campbell, known to battle rap fans as “Daylyt.” Here’s his account of what happened:

“I’m an A&R at a big time record label. I’ve been following the KraCC City Movement for some time now. I got in touch with Davone and told him I wanted to invest in some new talent. He convinced me to come out to an event he was participating in at Los Globos. I was doing nothing that Saturday, why not. He said it was a battle rap event. I had no clue what battle rap was. I did some research prior to going and was really disturbed by the violent lyrics. But Daylyt assured me KOTD was a ‘non-violent organization.’ So in the last round while the Dizaster fellow was rapping, he looked at me. I was standing right behind the black guy. I think my suit threw him off and caused him to stumble. That’s when he looked back at the Mathematical guy and said ‘I should fucking punch you.’ The guy said ‘Do it then!’ Me wanting to get in the spirit of the crowd when they say ‘Talk to that N word such and such’ I said ‘Yeah do it Dizzy.’ Before I know it, I am laying on the ground being trampled. All was going through my head was defeat/the feet lines.”

Surprisingly, the man, who suffered a minor concussion in the mêlée said he still wants to become a potential battle rap sponsor but said if leagues want his money they will have to implement 3 changes. First, he said future grudge matches will have to be Facetimed/Skyped to prevent battle rappers with a history from fighting with more than words. Second, he said he wants “gun bars” to die. He specifically mentioned a battle rapper by the name of Tay Roc, who he said he is terrified of. “The only thing funny about that Tay Roc guy is how he says words with a U in it. Other than that, he is a bonafide monster. I believe everything he says he will do to his opponent. If he says he will Emmit Till you then dammit he will Emmit Till you. And the final rule he says he wants in place is, “No more defeat/the feet lines. I might have flashbacks hearing one of those again.”

Built on top of:

  • A line from Daylyt’s response video
  • Total Slaughter’s Upcoming Event on July 12th

What future grudge matches need to be facetimed/skyped?

Snoop Dogg Confronts 50 Cent About Unfollowing Him On Instagram

Based on actual events

Meanwhile at the South By Southwest conference …

Snoop – Yo cuz why you unfollowed me on Instagram? I know it ain’t because of the nails? I told you about that.
50 – Nah. Snoop, you know I only follow 5 people. When I started following you, your posts was coming so rapid, it flooded my timeline. I had to get you up off there.
Snoop – Why don’t you follow some more people, so we don’t have that problem then, nephew?
50 Cent – Why don’t you stop posting 15, 20 times a day?
Dick Costolo – *sensing the tension* Guys, guys, guys. It’s not that serious. It’s just social media. Y’all cool in real life, right?
Snoop – Wait a minute! Cuz this all your damn fault any-muthaf**king-way!!!
Dick Costolo – What? *throws hands up*
50 – Yeah, if you stop testing the Twitter Mute button in markets we don’t live in and just roll it out everywhere, we wouldn’t be going through this sh*t.
Snoop – *punches Dick Costolo and knocks him down*
Dick Costolo – … *gasping for air* But Twitter doesn’t even own Insta..
Snoop – *kicks Dick Costolo in the mouth* Ouch! Fool chipped my French mani. *kisses finger*
Jack Dorsey – *steps in* Guys, we don’t even show Instagram pics on …
50 – *knocks out Jack Dorsey with punch*
Snoop – Ooooh-weee. Pimping Curly. Pimp hand so strong. Let’s get up outta here for them other boys in blue come, cuz.
50 – Go! Go! Go, shawty!

*Snoop’s and 50’s entourages run off in distance*

FADE TO BLACK

Police Looking For Shoplifters Using Celebrity Names To Steal Your Shopping Bags

image

LOS ANGELES — Undercover police are posing as tourists walking the streets of LA this week to catch a new wave of shoplifters the media is dubbing  The Made You Looks. So far, 6 victims, all out-of-towners, have come forward describing their unorthodox techniques. “I was coming out the store and this guy walks up to me and points behind me yelling ‘Cole from the Martin show.’ When I turned around to see, he punches me, knocks me to the ground, snatches my Hugo Boss bag out my left hand and runs,” said, 27 year old Kansas resident Clarke Crowe, who was visiting family in Culver City. Initially baffled by the thieves unconventional ruse, the LAPD got a break in the case when Detective Lesane Wallace picked up on the commonality in the entertainers they used to distract their unsuspecting victims: They were all D-List celebrities. “David Alan Grier, Dustin Diamond, Kathy Griffin, Carrot Top, and Carmen Electra have been the head-turners. This gang is smart. They know if they were to shout a Beyonce, a Will Smith name, people would be less likely to look because everyone knows A-List celebs do not go out in public without some sort of disguise on,” said Wallace.

Until The Made You Looks are apprehended, the LAPD has put D to Z list celebrities on house arrest so their fans are aware of the suspicious activities of anyone screaming their names on the streets of LA.

Built on top of:
•Above YouTube clip

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Kelly Rowland Says She Will No Longer Perform “Dirty Laundry” Live After Breakdown In DC

We hope your favorite Kelly Rowland song isn’t “Dirty Laundry.” Despite telling Kelson of 93.9 WKYS radio:

It’s really weird when you take yourself in front of a crowd. Even in that moment of when I put my feet up, I felt like I was in therapy. I was singing and talking about what happened, and for a moment, it was like that crowd wasn’t even there. And then when the music stopped…I was like “You are live Kel. Calm down.” And I had to calm down, and in the moment, I had to breathe. You get lost…and it’s nothing wrong with getting lost. But that was weird. That won’t happen again though [laughs]. I felt like I could do that with D.C.

On breaking down during her “Dirty Laundry” performance in the state capital, Ms. Rowland has said she will NOT perform the song again because she doesn’t think she will be able to get through it without crying. According to band mates, Kelly was very upset with herself backstage over the breakdown. During an interview with Billboard magazine, Rowland described how emotional it was for her to record the song. According to Billboard it took Rowland “nearly a dozen takes to lay down her vocals without crying” and that during the recent album listening sessions for Republic Records, she “had to leave the room before the song was played.” During the same interview, Rowland said “It took me days to record. I had to get past being so upset and actually sing the song, not sob through it.”

Rowland has said if fans do request “Dirty Laundry” she is touring with @JadeNovah and will get the infamous Keyonce Bowles to do the cover.

Built on top of:

Will you still attend a Kelly Rowland concert if she herself doesn’t perform “Dirty Laundry?”

Thanks To Butt-Slapping Fan, Beyonce Now Wants Future Stages As Far Away From Fans As Possible

Damn! The stupid guy that slapped Beyoncé’s bum on stage will have more than Jay-Z and Marcy Projects to worry about. Now he has to be on the run from the stings of the entire BeyHive after Beyoncé has requested she no longer wants a second smaller stage where performers can interact with standing fans as Bey was doing when she put the microphone to the man’s mouth to participate in singing lyrics to her hit “Irreplaceable.”

In response to the butt-slapping incident, fans have flown to the “Halo” singer’s rescue. One fumed: “How did he dare…? What a douche!!! If I were Beyoncé, I would probably have slapped the sh** outta him… Don’t disrespect our Queen, please!!! And do not touch anybody without their consent next time!!! [sic]”  We can only imagine the Caps-lock and exclamation usage when they hear they will need binoculars the next time they see her in concert.

Upon reading about this, the woman who was Hulk-A-Mania leg dropped by Miguel at the Billboard Music Awards 9 days ago said, “I wasn’t a fan of Beyoncé before but I definitely am now. Soon as she comes to my city I’m spending some of my lawsuit money to attend a show.”

Reports say her butt MAY stop wobbling sometime tomorrow!

Built on top of:

Do you think they should get rid of the smaller second stage so incidents like this don’t happen?