Tag Archives: News & Current Events

Waffle House responds to Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffle name change with a menu change

In the wake of the W and A in Waffle House being transposed in 2nd Black History Month (Africa in April), Roscoe’s House Of Chicken and Waffles didn’t waffle in their decision to shorten its name to Roscoe’s Chicken.

While the ellipsis in Roscoe’s next text bubble were flickering, Waffle House, who took the name change as batter and buffet because of their recent troubles, stole the spotlight and shined it on what they thought the reason was:

“It’s clear Roscoe’s is kicking us while we’re a pancake and pouring syrup on our wounds. If that’s how y’all wanna play, okay, well, let the games begin. We will take chicken off our menus. No more grilled chicken! The west coast ain’t got no love for waffles and country ham? The west coast ain’t got no love for waffles and country ham and Papa Joe? Y’all don’t love us? Y’all don’t love us? Well, let it be known then! We know y’all west coast! We know where 40 of our locations at! Roscoe Jenkins in the muthafucking house! You know what, more than the chicken cross the road. We taking Hi-C off the menu since y’all got the best chronic and the home of the crips. We taking ice tea off the menu since Ice-T was raised in Los Angeles. And last but not least, we taking orange juice off the muthafucking menu since O.J Simpson from San Francisco. I did it!”

Immediately following Waffle House’s confession, the flickering ellipsis in Roscoe’s text bubble became punctuation marks in sentences of enlightenment:

“The 3 of our locations that weren’t affected by our bankruptcy will be renamed Roscoe’s Chicken while the 4 that were affected will remain Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles. We’re doing this because we want a fresh start. We want to get as far away from the debt and discrimination as possible, therefore, we changed our minds about not moving into the New York market. So if you’re infringing on our trademarks out there you’re no longer safe; Change your name and logo or we will sue the Z-A-N-N out you. Herb Hudson from them Harlem streets now.”

The message continues at great length but that’s the most important part of it; I don’t want to waffle.

Realizing the blunder or blender of their Twitter fingers and the boycott growing to include O-N at the end, Waffle House typed up an apology letter with only their middle fingers (they were fucked!) and offered to donate $3.2 million to the Obama-visited restaurant to help them settle their debt with Daniel Beasley and his attorneys.

While it’s not a surprise Roscoe’s accepted the offer, it was a surprise what their former employee did with his newfound wealth. Beasley became the biggest contributor of the GoFundMe for the victims of the Nashville Waffle House shooting at $200,000. Even went out his way to donate $150 to Jacinda Mitchell and $3,000 to Chikesia Clemons for their recent pain and suffering.

As of writing, Waffle House has reported pancake stacks of slips and falls in 33 locations within the past 15 hours.

Maybe it’s the sip-sip-sizzurp!

Happy 7th Blogiversary FY!!!

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The late Jim Henson accused of sexual assault by Kermit The Frog: “He put his entire arm up my keester”

When Kermit the Frog presented the Muppet Thought of the Week back in August it was met with mixed reviews, mostly negative, in the Youtube comment section of the video. The quote itself was praised. It was the voice that delivered the message that drew heavy criticism. “Kermit voice sounds like Ernie from Sesame Street,” one displeased commenter wrote. “Kermit’s new voice sounds awful,” another one remarked. When questioned by the paparazzi about the negative feedback, Kermit admits to doing things differently this time around. “That was my real voice. The first video I ever did without an arm up my keester.” The shocking response immediately prompted speculation Kermit the Frog was being fisted on camera by Jim Henson and Steve Whitmire for 62 years. I owe my fame to Henson. I wanted to retire when he suddenly died in 1990. After several weeks of his kids, Brian and Jane, personally asking me to let Steve put his hands up my keester and continue their father’s legacy I obliged. You can’t say no to the kids. At first it felt weird having someone else’s fingers moving all around in my keester, and my voice was off, then too, if you look at the videos in that period. Then I started to get use to it and my voice sounded like how a voice suppose to sound when you have an arm up your keester.”

“Dreams are how we figure out where we want to go. Life is how we get there,” he says in the short clip. “I’m headed this way.”

Kermit the Frog stated the message he delivered on Muppet Thought of the Week using his real voice was not a coincidence at all. “You know, I first met Jim when we were both 12 years old. I left the swamps of Mississippi and was the first frog to talk to a human. It started in his biology class. He was playing around and stuck his finger up my keester and I communicated all his deepest thoughts. Humans scared me, and I was too shy to do it again, but somehow he convinced me with a teacup and a spoon.”

Kermit reveals his decision to finally use his real voice was due to age and understands the initial shock of the change but hopes for positive feedback soon as more videos are released. “I’m not getting any younger. At any moment I can croak. It’s not easy being green.”

Do you think other animals will come out about their owners?

Police Officer gets major surprise after pulling over driver of car with massive Christmas tree tied to its roof

Cops photograph car with massive Christmas tree tied to its roof

Massachusetts – No, it wasn’t Clark Griswold leading Sudbury PD on a Chevy Chase. It was the father of Officer Noble driving tree miles-per-hour in a brand new minivan. “I’m like, dad, did you steal this? This is not our precious Malibu Most Wanted. Where did you get this from? I was stunned, you know.” Officer Noble’s partner, Officer Shambo, insisted a citation be written due to the safety hazard for all drivers. “The tree eclipsed the car. With the way the tree covered the door, if something bad would’ve happen, it would have been difficult for passengers to get out. Her little brother was inside as well. The tree dangled over the windshield causing view obstruction. Other drivers could be distracted by the tree and not pay attention to traffic,” said Officer Shambo. Noble argued against a citation in favor of a verbal warning and helping secure the tree to the roof with caution tape. After a little back and forth between the partners, Noble’s cousin jumped out the Christmas tree with a camcorder yelling “You Got Punked” in reference to the infamous Ashton Kutcher reality show. Noble learned her family and partner staged the whole event to give her Christmas present early, which was under the tree, the 2018 Chrysler Pacifica. “The patrol car was my car. Now I can feel like a soccer mom and not a bad mom having my kids ride in the backseat.”

What do you want for Christmas?

Watch: Political Protestor Ran Over By Bus On Live TV After Interrupting News Reporter

ESPN suspends the smile of Doug Glanville for 90 days when  the color analyst appeared to laugh at Luke Walsh, the seventeen-year-old who put Katt Williams in an unlocked choke hold yesterday, after a bus plowed into him.

Following the Tampa Bay Rays 4-1 victory over the Cuban National Team this past Tuesday, ESPN cut to Bob Ley, who was broadcasting live in Havana. As Ley was trying to reiterate President Obama’s “much more than a baseball game” he was video-bombed by Walsh.

After taking a swing at Walsh’s abdomen, Ley said, “Well Lindsey, this was about more than just, more than just, more than just … we have a moment here with a political demonstration on our set,” he said, while swiftly moving off camera to the left and “so let me throw it back now to the studio.”

As Walsh was shouting “ABAJO LOS CASTRO, LIBERTAD PARA CUBA” (“Down with the Castros. Liberty for Cuba.”) and tossing pamphlets in the air that called for reforms in Cuban law to allow rights and liberties, and amnesty for political prisoners, he lost his footing on the platform and fell into the streets, where a bus was coming full-speed ahead. “It was too late to stop,” said the driver. You can see Walsh throwing up multiple peace signs while underneath the bus tires, either saying goodbye or continuing his demonstration while 30,000 pounds of steel was weighing on his mind. Miraculously, it wasn’t the former, as Walsh survived, but within 45 seconds, plainclothes policemen had packed him and 5 other dissidents into a marked car.

When the camera cuts back to the commentators, Eduardo Perez was in the back confused, Doug Glanville was in the middle laughing, and Karl Ravech upfront said, “Well the safety of Bob Ley is obviously the most important …” before the audio gave out.

Warning: This video has graphic content that may be upsetting. Watch at one’s peril.

Built atop:

  • A YouTube comment
  • The “striking” resemblance of the protester and Luke Walsh.

Does that background look fake to you?