Tag Archives: personal

Here Come The Mama With Her Babies

Can I go with you?
My clothes won’t do?
I went up to my room and changed like you told me to
I was singing “skirt skirt” from my favorite song
When I heard “skirt skirt” in real life, your car was gone
No, no, don’t go, I beat on the window
Yeah yeah to mama’s “there there” don’t lie to me like he did, tell me did you know, where you involved? yes or no?

My daddy played a trick on me, my daddy tricked me
It’s been 8 hours, tell me do you miss me?
My daddy played a trick on me, my daddy tricked me
It’s been 9 months, tell me do you miss me?
My daddy played a trick on me, my daddy tricked me
It’s been 18 years, do you even remember me?

Get, get, get, get out the way please
Here come the mama with her babies
Get, get, get, get out the way please
Here come the mama with her babies
1, 2, 3
A, B, C, E, Z
1, 2, 3
A, B, C, E, Z

Only big people can go?
But dad I’m not a little person no mo’
Come and see mama had to mark another line on the wall
She say I look like you,
And I act like you,
But why do I need to be big and tall like you when sitting on your shoulders will do?
Like to pretend I’m washing your hair while I’m up there
Making TV static noise, little sister looking like “hey, no fair”

Come on, come on, come on daddy
Come on, come on, come on daddy
Come on, come on, come on daddy
Catch up slow poke we leaving ya
Funny, he’s the one who ended up leaving us

Get, get, get, get out the way please
Here come the mama with her babies
Get, get, get, get out the way please
Here come the mama with her babies
1, 2, 3
A, B, C, E, Z
1, 2, 3
A, B, C, E, Z

Stay with me, play with me
I don’t want a new dad
Stay with me, play with me
I miss how we use to dance
Stay with me, play with me
Mama tell me “no” so loud
Stay with me, play with me
Daddy tell me “yes,” his voice way down
Stay with me
Play with me
Stay with me
Play with me
Stay with me
Play with me
Stay with me (stay with me)

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Skeletons In My Closet who Took Forever to Get Ready

Broken hangers

Skeletons in my closet who took forever to get ready

About time they finally put on “oh this old thing” they were casket sharp

Let’s give a big hand to The Late Har-old L. Weak, ladies and gentlemen!

Now that goes for the cheer-ren too, let me get a little hand

We meant it when we said trying our Father’s thyme on some cal and deer was gonna have ya moving your seconds hand around like ya wanted to clock somebody

Ya got Sir Wallingford on his hands and knees with Tweety Bird, Twitter Bird, Bryan Williams’ Birdman, Michael Keaton’s Birdman flying around his head

And you on your damn hands and knees for a different reason, begging please, making my flesh crawl

Boy, if you don’t …


I lied down with a dog but I didn’t get up with fleas

I woke up with what I thought was a cold sweat then I realized the company I keep

6-week-old Rottweiler, Pitbull mix I call Darkman after my favorite rapper

Licks my face when I’m sleeping like a Behr to let me know it’s time to paint the town red

Grab my coat for the sure wind

More Benjamins ‘cause X likes to live Royal

Concealed my Ace’s hardware incase I have to make these jokers PPG and get Lowe

Damn if I take any longer to get ready X gonna give it to me and have my place looking like a Shih Tzu

And I’ll only be identified by the teeth of my skeleton key, the canine, on the way out that revolving door is gonna hit you

Toys Я Us Tribute (Sims 4 Seasons)


A few things …

  • Besides the upcoming posts I mentioned in (crazy how that ends with the word the post begins with) In Your Krispy Kreme Dreams I have some cool posts (even video) I’m working on about Catfishing and Ciara

  • May 4th was suppose to be the last day I blogged on here seeing as it was my 7th anniversary, and me being a numbers guy I believe 7 is the number of completion, which is why I published 7 times that day. Then out-of-nowhere came Computer Love. Come to think about it I didn’t think this through because just a few days before my blog anniversary I paid another $18 for my domain for the year. Maybe I will continue on here until it comes up for renewal again? I feel like if I devote the same energy and efforts on YouTube as I do on WordPress I would be further in life. The end for me on here is still coming soon mainly because of that. As a minor, I want to for-once-and-for-all cut ties with my blog-stalkers. I do realize once I come up with my channel focus it will be tacky to post certain stuff and plus everything can’t be a video, therefore, I will still have a new blog where I can write my ass off.

  • Passport Bear page is updated (Did you catch the cameo in this post?)

  • See how me and my daughter coordinating?

  • I got Sims 4 Seasons half off.

  • I’m about to watch Molly’s Game. Do I smell a review?

20 Passive Aggressive Things I Will Do When My Boss Goes On His Honeymoon

Sorry for the wait. His car still in the parking lot. He talking to someone on the phone. Text and drive! Wait … he’s backing out! Dammit, he stopped. Another car drove behind him. Okay, he’s in reverse. Dammit. Some old guy walking behind the car. He needs the aid of some sort of standing wheelchair to walk so he’s slow to move. I hope I don’t be like that when I get old. This gonna be a while.

Okay, the coast is clear. He’s … he’s … not in front of the office no more. Let me run to the door and make sure he’s out of the parking lot. Traffic is bad. Fuck! Come on, man, you had that one! What … why is he reversing? Please don’t tell me he’s coming back to the office. Ohhh he’s finding another exit. Let me follow his car out the parking lot. He can’t see me behind this pole, right? I been losing weight. He found another exit, y’all. He’s … he’s outta here.

Big Bossman  won’t be back until Monday afternoon. I have a day and a half to …

  1. I will untuck my fucking shirt! No one can look at my ass now! That’s what the tennis tail is for. No one will see my penis print either! These not fucking 1980’s basketball shorts.
  2. I will take my fucking phone off vibrate. Y’all gone hear my Lana Del Rey ringtone and my Sherwood Forest text tone today muthafucka!
  3. Wear khakis on casual Friday. I ain’t wearing no fucking jeans today! I’m breaking the rules and finishing the week with these Classic Stones baby!
  4. Make the fucking temperature warm. I be freezing! Goosebumps all over my arm and shit! I try not to complain and just wear a jacket. Y’all act like I’m the IRS and trying to audit the  books how y’all got me in this cold ass room shawty!
  5. Turn off this got-damn elevator music, Bob! We got one floor so why am I hearing this shit? I wanna hear how Bankroll Fresh ran off on the plug today.
  6. Park in front of the office. Look! I know we in a suite and we only got two parking spaces. I know these spots for the customers and the employees need to park far away from the building. I know this. But have you seen some of them??? They need the exercise.
  7. Not tell anyone “good morning,” “going to lunch,” and “bye.” Y’all ain’t gotta know where I’m at, at all times. I will come. I will go. That little chime notification that goes off every time the door opens tells you everything you need to know.
  8. Eat a full-course meal at my desk instead of a snack. Fuck them ants!
  9. Not go to the restroom just to fart. Look! I don’t know if it’s the Taco Bell, but I burnt-burnt a lot, and I’m tired of getting up. I hold that shit in too long my stomach start growling. There have been studies that said smelling farts is good for your health. I bullshit you not! I can just lie to you and say my chair was squeaking but then I gotta convince you that smell is coming from the vents. Too much trouble. And no, I won’t stop eating Taco Bell. That AM Crunchwrap steak and Naked Egg Taco bundle fye fye!
  10. Watch something NSFW on company computers. Nah, not porn. That’s for amateurs. I wanna watch videos of what people do with their hands in driverless cars. Like … have sex!
  11. Not talk in my white people voice because they can still tell I’m black. Ain’t that’s why that white lady called me the N word over and over? Why you talking shit 3,000 miles away though? Oh, yeah, okay!
  12. Leave the lights on. Big Bossman, you gone mess up our chances at being part of a skyline one day.
  13. Leave 10 minutes early. I need to beat traffic and customers who like to come in last-minute. Talking about “I just got off work.” Shit, me too!
  14. Not let a non-customer use the restroom. Look! It’s bad enough I gotta deal with y’all leaving piss, shit, and period blood on the toilet seat.
  15. Talk into my desk-fan like a child with at least one customer. Thissssss calllll mayyyyyy beeeee monitoreddddd forrrrr qualityyyyyy controlllllll.
  16. Rub on my nipples when a customer says, “Let me speak with your manager.” Can you say that one more time, just the way you said it, just a little more slowly … and softer. Yes, yes, yasssssssssss bitch!
  17. Spin around in my chair and say wheeeeee.
  18. Walk around like I own the place. Nah, fuck that! Let’s go back to number 17. I don’t wanna walk nowhere. Everywhere I go in the office I’m pulling up in my chair, rolling. That’s why they got wheels, right???
  19. Flirt with pretty customers. If you look good in-person or if you sound good over the phone I’m giving you minimum 22 compliments. I’m shooting my shot like Westbrook! 3 for 22.
  20. Not do any work the last 2 hours and blame it on Comcast.

Happy 7th Blogiversary FY!!!