The heart of your conversation earlier with Ranita:
Har-old-Is there any advice, you being 40, you can offer me being 24? Like, something you wish someone told you at my age?
Ranita- Do you! Get your education. And, don’t worry about them.
Har-old-Who is them?
Ranita-Them is so-called friends, fake people, doubters, girls. Don’t let no one distract you from working on you and your success.
Har-old-I’ll be honest. I am distracted by girls. So, you think I should just stay away from them?
Ranita-No, I didn’t say that. It’s okay to have a little girlfriend or just a friend. But getting settled down and being in a committed relationship, don’t do it. I got married at 19, had 4 kids and wish someone told me this. And now, I’m starting over. You need to focus on your education, getting your degree, and worry about what’s gone make you successful. Being distracted by a relationship is something we all go through. So, you gone have to find a way to take your focus off the other person and become distracted with your own self. You’re a handsome young man, on your own, seem like you got your head on straight. You don’t want to get caught up with these lil’ girls out here. They want your money. The one thing about women is that we will wait on you. No matter how long it takes. So if she’s the right one for you, and wants you to succeed, she will wait. All those people you named, Zuckerberg, Jobs, they didn’t let no one distract them, if they did, they would NOT be where they are now. Do you, baby!
Are you getting it now, son? DO YOU! Grrrrr!!!
P.S. I’m so happy you’re smart enough to see the messages in things. Big or small. You’re a thinker. Losing your technology for a few days did some good.
She told you she was a bitch and you didn’t believe her. PAP! Why would she even bother to tell YOU this? Because she was predicting the future. And you bloody fool, why didn’t you believe her? You don’t trust life. This is an exact reflection of that. You don’t even know yourself yet. So, how you gone put another person BEFORE you and think you KNOW them? Hmmm? Why are you mad at the other person? Why are you blaming the other person? Be mad and put the blame on yourself. Learn to trust life. Learn. To. Trust. Life. This was a life lesson. Like she said, “Do the math and figure it out.” Don’t get PAPPED a 29th time! She isn’t deserving of your love. She won’t fight for you like you fought for her. What does that tell you? And, that’s why you should stop fighting and give up. Quit! Move on. You said your goodbye. Do not be hard-head, now. Cancel that bitch! Believe in Maya Angelou’s poetry. Oprah does. Ha!
P.S. Thanks, appreciation, and love shown to Brook for being a YouTuber and forwarding the message.
P.P.S. This is the first video on FY. About time, huh?
Remember when I said your apartment is putting you in danger? Then I alluded to a future letter on how, by the way, which is titled Why Walking Around The House Naked Is Overrated? Well, I wish I would’ve wrote that before the last four. I even tried writing it tonight, before midnight, before your first test. But it’s too late. She’s on her way. *sighs* But I don’t want to scare you with the word danger. To you, it’s probably not a danger at all. I mean, what do you care about being a Superman? Hmmm? Rather you want to admit it or not, THAT is a threat. THAT is your kryptonite. I’ll explain further in the aforementioned letter, but, it may be too little too late. I certainly hope not. On a lighter note, I love the new page Shorts. Update it frequently, Har-old.
Har+new: Why are you always looking in the mirror?
Har-old: Because I look crazy talking to you without one.
Har+new: Ha! You do more “listening” than talking.
Har-old: Okay. Don’t you want me to be a better listener? Isn’t that one of the qualities you’re helping me develop?
Har+new: Yes, but no, that’s not what I meant. You “listen” as an excuse to look.
Har+new: Since when did blowing kisses while another person is talking make one a great listener? You can’t walk pass a mirror without looking in it, can you?
Har-old: Yes I can!
Har+new: Ha! Not with peripheral vision, you can’t. Remember when you worked at Smith & Nephew? That day you were headed to the restroom and saw Lauren waiting in the lobby? Instead of approaching her and telling her how much you were crushing on her, you ran to the restroom to make sure you looked presentable a-k-a making sure your nose was booger-free. By the time you got back she was long gone.
Har-old: Who knows how long she was sitting there when I saw her? They probably finally saw her after making her wait forever.
Har+new: Or you was in the mirror forever. Hmmm? And when did you start to care if people thought you were crazy or not? Hmmm?
Har-old, this is how I knew Now Wife was the one:
I use to date this girl who was beautiful, I mean stunning, gorgeous, sexy, hot, fine as hell, OH MY GOD BROTHER! But I can only give her those physical compliments, you know, because she was dumb as a rock, man. This broad was … this broad was a complete idiot, Har-old. And one day while we were out on a date I saw my friend Rob. He approached us before we got seated. And you know how if a buddy catches you on a hot date with a hot chick he doesn’t try to take up too much time with small talk but the little time he does take and the small talk he does give is staring at her and complimenting her looks. And, I expected that, you know. And, I was okay with it, ya know … until:
Rob: Har-old, she is beautiful. I mean stunning, gorgeous, sexy, hot, fine as hell, OH MY GOD BROTHER. You, lucky dog, you!
Rob: Well, I will get out of you kids way, and let y’all enjoy the rest of y’all’s night.
Har+new: Hold on! Wait a minute! “You, lucky dog, you???”
Rob: What’s that?
Har+new: “You, lucky dog, you?”
Har+new: Rob, you have known me for many, many years. You know how hard I worked. You know how I busted my ass to get to where I’m at. To get to the top. To get to this position. To establish my wealth. To make my ideas reality. The blood, sweat, tears! YOU KNOW THAT!
Rob: Har+new, calm down. Calm down, brother.
Har+new: And you know if I was a chick you would totally bang me. This girl … let go of my arm … this girl is a freaking dummy. She may have the beauty but she doesn’t have the brains to match …
I went on for another 10 minutes like this. Suffice to say I got a glass of water thrown in my face. I was SO angry at this girl’s looks that I wanted the next girl to be the smartest girl I’ve ever met with total disregard for her looks. And I found her! While we were out on a date I saw Rob again. This time his little time and small talk was ALL directed at me.
Rob: Well, I will get out of you kids away, and let y’all enjoy the rest of y’all’s night.
Har+new: Hey man! Where are you going???
Har+new: You not gone compliment my date on how she looks?
Har+new: What you mean why?
Rob: Brother, look at her.
Har+new: *turns head* DAMN, YOU UGLY! Let go of my arm! No, Rob, no! She is smart as hell. She has 4 degrees, okay, Rob. FOUR! She knows 6 active languages and two more arcane and dead ones. You hear me?! Have a conversation with it, HER!. HER! Have one, Rob!
Rob: *scared look on his face* Please, no. I don’t want to. Please don’t make me have one. Please! I beg of you.
I went on for another 5 minutes like this … trying to get Rob to have a conversation with that thing. Suffice to say I got a glass of water thrown in my face … Rob did too. Again, I was SO angry at having a beauty without brains to match or a brainiac without beauty to match that I wanted the next girl to be the best of both worlds. That’s right. I was done being tacky. And, I found her … Now Wife. When Rob caught us out in public you should’ve seen it. His little time and small talk was evenly distributed between me and her. And by this time the phrase “You, Lucky Dog, You” was an inside joke between Rob and I. We told each other whenever we caught the other out on a date or if we talked too extensively about a girl we would say the phrase. And that’s when IT happened:
Rob: Well, I will get out of you kids way, and let y’all enjoy the rest of y’all’s night.
Har+new: Rob, you forgetting something.
Rob: Oh yeah!
Rob gets between us, disconnecting our hand holding, grabs her left arm, lifts her hand up and kisses it and turns to me and says:
Rob: Har+new, I’ve known you for many, many years. She is by far the most attractive woman you’ve ever been with. You, lucky dog, you! Hahahaha!
Now Wife: Shut the hell up! Both of you! *looks at Rob* Let go of my arm! I’m Not Just A Pretty Face. I appreciate the compliment, I do. But *grabs her face* I’m just renting this for a while. But *points index finger at her head* this is mines to own.
She went on for another 22 minutes like this. Wow! Suffice to say a glass of water was thrown in my face … by myself. I thought I was dreaming.
Maybe you should cover the mirror with post it notes if you can’t stop looking in it. LOOK ON IT! Those are the words that aren’t backwards. Accept my suggestion. You’ll thank *holds right palm up* you’ll blow a kiss at me later.
P.S. Har-old, let’s have a good Friday and make history this weekend strong-end.
Its time to take some chances. I give you permission from this point on to be a bitch. Really. Say what you want to say, say what you feel, be honest, confront, confront, confront.
I know that is easier said than done, but you’re not really here to do the easy thing. Practically nothing else in your life has been done the easy way…but you manage to take the easy way out of socializing. You socialize by being polite, quiet, agreeable, respectful. You put all these ideas before your own ideas, thoughts, contributions to conversations. You put everyone’s supposed emotions above your own need to communicate.
And you wonder why very few people know you very well. Maybe you’re being too hard to get… to know. You save your thoughts, ideas, jokes, for the off-chance that you’ll really hit if off with someone. But even if you do, eventually you’ll save some stuff for someone else who will understand you in some other way that your current friends don’t.
Well, there’s a reason you can’t find friends who completely understand you…for one thing, you don’t give them a chance…for another thing, there is no one (human) who can completely understand you. You’re a changing canvas. Your self-portrait is always transforming. You don’t have to represent yourself in your many facets, you can be exactly who you are at that moment, without thinking about rather it reflects who you were yesterday, how someone else sees you, or who you’re going to be the next time you communicate with someone.
No one is perfect, no one is always the same and nothing you do will stop conflicts, disagreements, misunderstandings, miscommunication, and incomplete social transactions from occurring. You simply have to stop filtering yourself. Allow the truth of you to be accessible when you interact with people, and maybe you’ll be able to see the multi-changing layers of people as well.
It is a responsibility. One you have tried to shield yourself from. You are a very empathic and intuitive person, and maybe you feel like you shouldn’t be an authority, you shouldn’t be aware of the things people do and feel. You shouldn’t have to know things that you have this uncanny ability to find out, especially when they’re being hidden. So you decided to try to hide yourself from it… but it just doesn’t do you good, at all. It also doesn’t work. You’ll have to take responsibility for your characteristics, your impact on the people around you, and their impact on you.
You’ll have to allow yourself to be seen as you are, from moment to moment, and that will make you look sad sometimes, silly, ignorant, insensitive, and bitchy… as well as a multitude of other characteristics you like to share. Be empowered in your human nature. Don’t take any shit from anyone who suggests or supports being superwoman. You are allowed to fail miserably, and you should not feel the need to hide that from anyone. Be brave and know that what you’re doing is living, never stopping, never going back, there is no need to hesitate, even when if it might mean someone will get to know how you really feel.
You’re not in competition with anyone, and you can rest assured that being honest is not being rude. You already have a good grasp on speaking respectfully, someone may become upset, but that doesn’t mean you’re being mean or that what you want to say shouldn’t be said. You just have to realize that communication is at least a two way street, if not a four-way intersection. You can’t drive through the intersection and expect to get where you want without paying attention to the others on the road. You can be a defensive driver, and still get where you need to go, in time.