Tag Archives: sex

Cameraman fired for being a jerk to co-worker, a dick to another

After 4 years, the cameraman who filmed popular news anchor wardrobe malfunction reveals he was terminated for the fiasco.

Panning a camera results in a motion similar to that of someone shaking their head from side to side. The perfect description of the following:

In May of 2012, Sara Eisen, then co-anchor of Bloomberg TV’s Bloomberg Surveillance, had an embarrassing on-air moment where she was caught with her dress hiked up, exposing a Big Black Contrivance strapped to her thigh.

While there was never an official public address of what the device was, a mic transmitter, a dildo, a gun holster, a shake weight in recharge mode, a flashlight, a lamp, a penis GPS locator, an umbrella, prosthetic leg, Amazon echo, from neither Eisen or Bloomberg, they did privately address who they felt was responsible for its live TV appearance, Richard Hewitt, the cameraman. “They fired me because they didn’t like my answer to why I cut Sheila Dharmarajan off mid-sentence and panned right. I said I was operating the camera with one hand. Can you believe those idiots thought I was being sexually suggestive? It was a mistake! When you are looking through the eye-piece you have zero peripheral vision, especially when she was on the right and being blocked by the camera. So, how was I suppose to know what she was doing? We always did the sweeping camera motion for the Markets Desk segment, where we got the anchor opinions on money matters.”

Hewitt, who has sold insurance since the firing, said although he’s been in the film industry for years admits to not being entirely certain what the round black tube was. “It was Brian Williams between her legs.”

Built atop:

  • Above video

What do you think the Big Black Contrivance was?

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“Why Is There A Smoke Detector In My Bedroom?” Residents of Burned Down Apartment Complex Demand Answers

misplaced smoke detector
It’s looking right over my bed. How freaking convenient?!

 

In August of 2013, Oscar Ozell, 23, was laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about the day he had – his startup had won a thousand dollar pitch contest. For the first time in his 3 year residency at 308 Eves, Ozell saw something that was out-of-place: A smoke detector in his bedroom hanging up above the entrance to his dressing room. “Why is there a smoke detector in my bedroom?” Ozell curiously said to himself. A red-light was blinking. “Am I being secretly recorded?” Ozell logically thought to himself. Ozell jumped out bed and disconnected the device from the wall to investigate its interior.

What did he find? A hidden spy camera.

Then like an application bouncing when you click it on the iDock, Ozell’s subconscious delivers a relevant thought to the forefront of his mind. “I paid my rent 18 months in advance. So, I had no reason to ever go in the leasing office. But the one time I did, this lady, Karen, knew my name. She was NOT the person I dealt with when I moved in.”

What would that mean? Ozell admits to forgetting his name when he has sex and asking his girlfriend what it is.

“First thing I did was call my girlfriend.”

“I answer the phone and hear him screaming, ‘They been watching us. They been watching us this whole entire time,’ ” says the girlfriend.

It was after-hours. The leasing office was closed. Management has gone home. And it would stay this way for 3 days being Labor Day weekend.

“I didn’t know any of my neighbors. Never got to know them good enough to be invited inside their apartment. I had to get in there. And what a good ice-breaker this was: Hey, has the temperature in your bedroom ever became so hot and steamy the smoke detector in there went off?”

Ozell befriended 3 neighbors and discovered he was not alone in having a smoke detector appropriately looking over his bed.

Then.

On Labor Day, 12 hours before Ozell and his new friends angrily marched into the leasing office, a fellow neighbor, Simon Freed, caused a massive 10-alarm fire frying fish.

The worse fire to hit Tennessee in a decade.

Over 600 people was in the eleven-storied building that night. Every single one made it out alive.

“We use to play this game as kids. If your house caught on fire and you could only save one inanimate object, what would it be and why? My cellphone,” said Ozell.

His answer to why is the above photo, which after the destruction of 216 apartment units, was the only evidence that could have implicated 308 Eves.

Because of that photo, management was handed tough prison sentences.

Because of that photo, the displaced tenants were rewarded all their rent and utility money from the time they moved in to their last payments.

Because of that photo, Ozell and friends had the money to move into homes where the smoke detector is conveniently stored in the kitchen.

 

Built on top:

  • Real life experience

Let’s play a game: If your house caught on fire and you could save only one inanimate object, what would it be and why?

 

Anonymous Blogging Gone Wrong: Drunk Woman Reveals the Rest of the Letters in her Boyfriend’s Name (And Shows Pic)

Screenshot of Futuristically Yours homepage

 

A woman who was once making $10,000 a month from her anonymous blog is now making 17 cents per month after a fan exposed her lie in a revealing photo.

Kadence, formerly known as K, woke up March 30th in the afternoon with a severe headache. She had a hang-over. The vile smell coming from her blouse confirmed it. But she was confused. The reason for her drinking was lying next to her in bed, Jasper, formerly known as J. Her boyfriend. Did they instantly make-up after their bad fight last night?

“I was trying to collect my thoughts. I look across the room and see two things an author of an anonymous blog never wants to see sitting RIGHT next to each other: A bottle of Tequila and a laptop,” wrote Kadence in a post titled, IWasDrunk, and ANGRY, and Stoopid … and Blogging. She wrote, “I jumped out of bed in a panic, run to the computer and start shaking it. Then I realized this isn’t a little sister whose in a deep-sleep and is about to be late for school. It’s a touch-sensitive machine. I slide my finger across the trackpad and couldn’t believe my eyes. The man who was laying in my bed was on my computer screen. I deleted the post and kicked him out my apartment half-naked.”

But it was too late.

Despite the scathing 2,000 word post being published at 3AM it was shared on Facebook 83 times, on Twitter 27 times, and had 78 comments. One follower replied, “When I saw the preview of the post in my email I thought the pic was an advertisement from Google. But when I clicked the ‘read more‘ link and saw the same pic I still thought it was an advertisement, as K has lots of them on her blog. Out of a thousand-something posts with no images it just had to be. However, when I read the post I was shocked to find out that was the protagonist of her posts. He wasn’t a faceless letter anymore. He had a picture and a name.”

For the next 3 weeks Kadence would unsuccessfully try to turn her anonymous blog into a “regular” one, but fans clamored that she lost her writing edge because she didn’t want to offend Jasper, who she reconciled with and knew was reading her blog now. They threatened to take their traffic elsewhere. Realizing she never posted her own photo or revealed the rest of the letters in her name during the blog transformation and could go anonymous again, she did so. In her first anonymous post back, she claimed, “I broke up with Jasper, formerly known as J, and found me a new beau, K. I know, right! We’re twinees! But ladies … he is an A in bed. OMG!” She goes on to detail her reasons for breaking up with Jasper, saying he punched her.

The renewed anonymous blog thrived. Traffic peaked in the month of June with a million site visits. Advertising revenue was going through the roof. Fans was leaving comments, saying her posts were “better than ever.”

Then …

A fan, Hans Reznor, saw Jasper in public with some girl.

“I was at the movies, standing in line, and saw this dude who looked familiar. I  tried recalling where I knew him from. Suddenly, I got a comment notification from one of my friends on K’s blog AND THEN IT HIT ME! I looked in my gallery. I had saved J’s pic on my phone. I kept looking at my phone, looking at him, looking at my phone, looking at him. IT WAS J! And I just assumed the girl he was with was his NEW girlfriend. Then out of nowhere, a girl who I haven’t talked to in a whole freaking year texts me. AND THEN IT  HIT ME AGAIN! What if the girl who J is standing with is K?!?! I had no way of knowing because I didn’t know what she looked like. She never posted a pic. I had to think of something quick because the line was moving. I kept shouting out the letter K but left pauses in-between because some black people was standing behind me. The girl J was with kept looking back. But that could have just been a coincidence. Then right when I’m about to lose them to the movie theater it happened. When Jasper and the girl was at the counter paying for the movie, the lady at the register looked at the girl’s card and ID and said, ‘I got a sister named Kadence.’ BOOM! I whipped out my phone, snapped a good clear picture of them together, and ran home. I didn’t even want to see The Purge no more.”

Reznor posted the picture on Facebook, Twitter, and in the comment section of Kadence’s most recent posts. Fans were outraged and felt a sense of betrayal. They rallied on social media and promised to fulfill their earlier threat of taking their traffic elsewhere. Within a month JKDoesntStandForJustKidding.com was doing 24 views a day. A far cry from the 250,000 monthly visits Kadence was averaging.

In a post titled, I Should’ve Waited ‘Til It Came Out On DVD she wrote,

“For the first time in 6 years I am looking for a job. A job I know I will hate. A job that will make me hate Monday’s. A job with rats and robots. A job I may very well be at forever BECAUSE YOU SON OF BITCHES TOOK THE JOB I LOVE AWAY FROM ME! I WISH I KNEW WHO YOU Y’ALL WERE SO WHEN THE PURGE BECOMES REAL I CAN KILL YOUR ASSES! I don’t even know why I’m writing this. Who’s going to read it? My mom?! Fuck her!!! My damn boyfriend rubbed more salt on my wounds by breaking up with me. FOR REAL THIS TIME YOU BASTARDS!”

In a surprising twist of events, Jasper has started his own blog, JStandsForJealousy, and reveals he masterminded the whole thing. On the About page he wrote,

You may know my ex-girlfriend, Kadence, formerly known as K. She had one of the most popular anonymous blogs on the internet, which brought in thousands of dollars in advertising revenue. Here I am working a crap job while she gets to sit home and write for a living. I was jealous. I had my own little blog on WordPress that no one gave a damn about. I asked Kadence, who had a degree in marketing could she help me with it and she claimed she didn’t know anything about marketing a blog. She lied to me to cover up she had a widely successful blog, of which I was the star of. That’s why I don’t feel remorse about my actions. That night we had our argument, a slip of the tongue revealed she had some big, popular blog. I pretended to not hear what she said and changed the subject of the arguing. She never got drunk. It was me. I set it all up. While she slept I spilled alcohol on her blouse. I gave her the headache by kicking her out of bed and making her hit her head on the floor. She was a deep-sleeper. I positioned the Tequila next to her lap-top. I knew all her passwords. She used the same one for each account. So, all I had to do was go to each blogging platform and type it in until one worked. Once it became clear to me that I was the star these people were coming to this site to read about I wanted more control. All of these posts talked about how bad I was in bed and her adventures with other men because of it infuriated me. I wanted revenge. I wanted the proper representation. So, I wrote a post about me. Nothing really changed. I talked bad about myself like she would have done. I can be self-deprecating. But I made it look like she was so plastered while she was writing, she addressed me by my name and showed off embarrassing pics of me. It was believable. And that fan that saw us in public? A friend of mines she never met. She didn’t even want to go to the movies that night. I had to drag her to the theater. She lied to y’all about how bad I was in bed so women will stay away from me and men would laugh at me. She lied about us breaking up and her dating a new letter so she could profit off the traffic you provided her. Well, to the people who have been deceived in the blogging community, I present my truth. A face with a name. This is my story in my own words. This is my jealousy.

JStandsForJealousy.com has been viewed 157,372 times since it was started 2 weeks ago.

Built on top:

  • Wanting to write a sequel to this

What topics would you blog about if you had an anonymous blog and wouldn’t be held accountable for?