Tag Archives: Top Stories

Little Boy Starts House Fire Rubbing Doritos Together

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I put my Takis in the freezer

“I should have never read that stupid article,” said Ava McKenzie, as she was crying to news reporters watching firefighters spray water on her $75,000 Texas home that went up in flames because she encouraged her toddler son, Dillion McKenzie, to play with his food after reading it may help him learn.

This past December, mother McKenzie received an email alerting her of a new post from a parenting site she’s subscribed to. “I want a smart baby. So, I’m always looking for ways to impress on play dates. I saw this post about how Dillion is actually learning when he throws spaghetti sauce on the walls. I immediately ransacked the kitchen.” Mckenzie, who hasn’t gone grocery shopping in weeks was disappointed to only find junk in the ‘frig and cabinets. “We had nothing but chips and candy. So, I just gave him a couple of bags of Cool Ranch Doritos to play with.” McKenzie said she then got distracted by a phone call that made her take her eyes off Dillion for a “few” minutes. “Next thing I know I hear my baby screaming and I rushed back to the kitchen and see fire.” McKenzie managed to grab Dillion before he suffered any severe burns and tried to put out what started as a “modest” fire but flames spreaded to the other Doritos so rapidly it grew beyond control and she hightailed it out of there with a crying Dillion in her arms. From across the street, they watched in horror as their family home melted away.

Doritos and similar chips are cooked in vegetable oil and made mostly of Hydrocarbons and fat, which are both highly flammable.

The single mother of 1 blames two parties for her predicament: the reseachers at University of Iowa and Doritos.

“When it’s time for my baby to go to college, he can go to whatever school in the world he wants to go to … long as its not the University of Iowa or in the state of Iowa,” said McKenzie.

Pressured by consumers on social media that they should do something and the fact they have rewarded those in the past, Doritos issued McKenzie and family a special card that entitles her to a lifetime supply of BAKED Doritos. “What the hell me and my son suppose to do with this s**t?! Build a house of chips?! We need a muthaf**king place to stay!”

Built on top of:
• A Tweet

Should the college and Doritos do something for them?

Lil’ Kim Plastic Surgeon Wants To Deliver Baby

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Chelsea Lauren/Getty Images

Grammy-award winning rapper Lil’ Kim modeled a baby bump in her sparkly skin-tight dress during Mac Cosmetics and The Blonds Fashion Week after-party in New York City on February 12th.

“I’m so excited! I’m a few months along. I can’t wait to be a mom!” Lil’ Kim told US Weekly.

The congratulatory messages have been pouring in from celeb friends. Singer Tamar Braxton, who welcomed her first child, son Logan Herbert, tweeted, “Awwwww congrats @LilKim on your little one.”

Lil’ Kim’s best friend of 20 years, Jennifer Dalton (Real Housewives Of New Jersey), has been helping her with veggie pizza cravings, collect ideas for a “sick nursery,” and fluffing pillows to help her sleep comfortably. “All you see is Lil’ Kim in the fetal position with pillows everywhere. It’s very cute!”

Mr. Papers, the self-proclaimed baby-daddy revealed the gender of the baby to be a boy, something the 38 year old “Lighters Up” rapper wanted to save for a reality show in the works with VH1. “He gon’ be a gemini though, but I don’t wanna give you all the information, ya heard? He gon’ be a gemini.”

But the surprising helping hand that has everyone buzzing is from Dr. Garo Kassabian of Lift MD Aesthetics Beverly Hills, Lil’ Kim’s plastic surgeon for over an decade. The celebrity doctor said he wants to help deliver the baby. When asked why, he had the following to say:

I don’t want to actually deliver the baby. That’s not my practice. I just need to be there to calm her down when she sees the baby looks absolutely nothing like her. I don’t want her to drop the baby on its head screaming for a maternity test. My presence is just a friendly reminder of different face after different face after different face. You remember when she criticized Naturi Naughton for being too ‘dark-skin’ to portray her in the Biggie movie? Well what kind of whining you think she gone do when she sees the REAL Lil’ Kim again? She gone be crying louder than that baby!

Built on top of:
•Vlad TV comment

Do you think he is the right choice to deliver the baby?

Man Dives Head First In An Empty Pool

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A Phoenix man falls to his death after diving head first in a pool without water. Here’s the account of the story by his friend, who was going to dive in second:

There was water in the pool, okay. We tested the water. He dipped his feet in it; I put my hand in it and splashed some water on him. So, there was definitely water in the pool when we was on the ground. Kyle even remarked how clean the water was. He said, ‘Man, this pool so clean it looks like there’s no water in it.’ The diving board was like 30 feet in the air. It took us what seemed like 10 minutes to climb the ladder to the top. When we’re there, we start playfully going back and forth about who’s going first. ‘No, you are! No, you are!’ Stuff like that. It could have very well been him telling you this story. Then we look down, notice people getting out of the pool. Finally, Kyle calls me a chicken and says he’s going to be the brave one. He dived in head first, arms out in front. He obviously had to have his eyes closed the entire time because you would think as you’re getting close to the pool you would notice it wasn’t water in it and contorted your body midair. Then … I just hear this explosion, which must have been his head, red stuff flowing, his body just laying still *cries*. I scream out at him, ‘KYLE! KYLE! KYLE!’ He didn’t move! I start shaking, getting dizzy, knees buckling and almost fall off the diving board myself in panic. Then I struggled to climb down, losing my grip on the ladder, thoughts racing. I kept telling myself, ‘THAT didnt happen! THAT did NOT happen!’ We was just down there together playing in the water. Finally … I get down there … *sigh*. Last thing I remember was screaming and fainting at what I saw. He didn’t have a head! I died too for an hour. When we saw those people getting out of the pool earlier that’s because some pool boys told them to get out because they were about to let out the water so they can clean the pool. Clean the pool?!?! That pool was clean as shit! Not one of those people told them pool boys we was on the diving board. Not one! I know they saw us when we passed the pool. What has this world come to?

Kyle’s friend, Anthony, and Kyle’s family are pressing charges of reckless endangerment and homicide against everyone: the Phoenix pool community, the 2 pool boys, and the 15 people that was in the pool at the time, which includes 8 children.

One of the people in the pool, Josh Bardem, a school teacher, has insinuated a new theory. Said he, “If 1 or 2 of us got out the pool, fine, but ALL 15 people got out the pool simultaneously. That didn’t seem odd to you? You didn’t start to get suspicious? Maybe he did … and maybe his friend did too. I think we should investigate just how well those 2 ‘best friends,’ those ‘great pals’ were getting along … if there is such a thing.”

Built on top of:
An Aye Verb tweet

Was this murder (on who?) or a honest mistake?

Rangers Employ Tasers On Cheney For Death Of Idaho Sheep

Jackson Hole – Grand Teton park rangers used tasers while subduing U.S. Senate candidate Elizabeth Lynne Cheney after a cheneysbizarre sheep stampede last week.

Cheney, 47, was tased Aug. 15 by rangers after allegedly saying that she would climb the Grand Teton “on my own” and spend a night in Cascade Canyon without a backcountry permit.

When rangers found Cheney they began talking to her. She grew “abnormally upset and confrontational” and claimed to have bombs set to explode in the morning. Rangers found no explosives.

Cheney ventured into a 2,400-head sheep herd when about 165 sheep from the Siddoway Sheep Company of St. Anthony, Idaho were killed, trampled and smothered.

After running downhill in a panic Cheney was tased by rangers and charged with resisting arrest.

Cheney had a history of mental illness, her father told rangers.

She pled not guilty Tuesday after taking a fighting stance saying, “The extreme loss of sheep last weekend is necessary.”

In the weeks leading to the sheep pileup, Cheney announced she would challenge Sen. Mike Enzi in the 2014 Republican primary. The U.S. senate candidate faces a $10,000 fine and up to a year in jail and two years probation, during which she would be banned from the park.

sheep pileupCheney made a statement Wednesday, which follows.

“On August 15, 2013, I spent the day in the Grand Tetons with a group of 13 wolves from the Pine Creek Pack. They’ve had a huge amount of problems over the years. I had arranged for Sean Hannity to film the wolves, which occasionally venture into western Wyoming in the area of Teton Pass. The Siddoway Sheep Company should not be grazing in such a predator-dense area. The problem is not the wolves, but subsidized domestic sheep grazing. The extreme loss of sheep last weekend is necessary. I hope that we can manage the sheep population in the future. I would like to praise the professionalism and dedication of the Grand Teton park rangers and the security officers at Jackson Lake Lodge.”