Tag Archives: viral

4/21: Big YouTube Update Regarding Numbers

My channel as a whole recently passed the 500K mark. My highest viewed video just passed the 300K mark. A video I put out a week ago passed the 50K mark. A video I put out not even 24 hours ago is already at 4K. I literally just dropped another video about 2 mins ago that I project to also do well. If you haven’t seen my last post (probably temporarily up), my YouTube channel has surpassed the numbers of followers I have on WordPress.

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Wrong Freaking Color!

 

Wrong Color

 With Roman Originals reporting a 347% sales increase and 70% of people seeing white and gold online, I can only assume this is how they’ll react when they see The Dress in person. Welcome to the 30%. Which I was ALWAYS a part of by the way 🙂

The Dictionary Kid

FADE IN

INT. GEORGE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

GEORGE

(excitedly)

Damn! The Apparently Kid got 21 million views: 15 from his interview; 3 from the FreshPet commercial; few millions with Ellen. The Exasperating Kid views not too shabby either. These kids had to make hundreds of thousands of dollars from YouTube. Hmmm …

EXT. DIANE’S HOUSE – MORNING

George rings doorbell. Diane opens door.

GEORGE

Diane …

DIANE

(gasps)

George …

Diane folds her arms and changes her facial expression of shock into disgust.

DIANE

So it took Taco Bell 5 years to fix your Burrito with Flaming Hot Fritos?

GEORGE

You know they don’t even sell those no more? Pshh.

DIANE

5 years!

GEORGE

Well it isn’t exactly fast food, you know.

DIANE

Are you … are you trying to make light of this situation? I’m talking about 5 years since I gave birth to your son!

GEORGE

Sweetie, I know. And, I’m sorry. Very, very, sorry. I was scared of being a dad. I didn’t know what to do. I panicked. I needed to make sense of this.

DIANE

And it took you 5 years to do that, George? You missed his first birthday. You missed seeing him take his first steps. You missed his first day of school. You missed everything!

GEORGE

Unless he’s in there dying right now, no, I haven’t. It’s only been the first 5 years of his life. And I’m standing right here and now to tell you … I want to be there for the rest of his life … and yours!

 DIANE

(speaks with tremble)

George …

GEORGE

Tells me it’s not tough raising a child on your own and I will leave right now.

George turns around and takes a step, giving the impression he’s walking away.

DIANE

George … I need you!

INT. DIANE’S HOUSE – MORNING

George looks around the house and sees a book shelf. He scans the material.

DIANE

Oh, you looking for the family album? It’s right here.

GEORGE

No, I’m looking for the dictionary. Here it is. Hmmm.

George puts index finger in middle of dictionary.

GEORGE

Whatever page it lands on is the word of the day. F’s. F-U-F-U-F-U-Fustigate! Means to … ahh who cares! Where’s my boy?

DIANE

In his room, but George I need to tell you something about our son first.

GEORGE

(talks as he’s leaving room where Diane is, in search for son’s room)

Not now woman! Me and my son got some catching up to do.

CUT SCENE

A montage shows George and Little George spending father and son time together at various events. Music plays. The only dialogue heard is when George uses “fustigate” in the wrong way in a sentence, with comical effect.

INT. DIANE’S HOUSE – EVENING

NEXT DAY …

George takes out camera.

GEORGE

Little Georgie Boy. Guess what? Daddy’s pregnant! *says in a whisper* Nah, I don’t want use that one. *back to normal volume* Little Georgie, did you know when you deleted Grandpa’s picture you killed him? He’s gone bye bye. Aww!

LITTLE GEORGE

GEORGE

Little George, did you know your brother from another mother will one day … grow up?

LITTLE GEORGE

GEORGE

Okayyyy. Little George, I ate all your Halloween candy!

LITTLE GEORGE

GEORGE

Umm … BIRDS ARE DINOSAURS!

LITTLE GEORGE

GEORGE

I’m about to poke your heart!

LITTLE GEORGE

GEORGE

Shit, it’s passed the one minute mark. Dammit, now I can’t go viral. Dammit, Little George! I’ve been saying Fustigate for 24 hours and you still haven’t caught on? The hell is wrong with you?!

George grabs the dictionary and beats son upside the head with it. Diane hears Little George crying and runs to his aid.

DIANE

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

GEORGE

Whooping our son! He got a F in spelling.

DIANE

What?! What are you talking about???

GEORGE

I been saying the word “Fustigate” in sentences with him since I met him. I did it at the wrestling match. The basketball game. The fair. I even whispered it in his ear for an hour last night while he slept. What the hell is wrong with him? Is he an idiot?

DIANE

No, he’s deaf.

There’s awkward silence for about 10 seconds.

GEORGE

Did you know Taco Bell got a new burrito with Fritos? But it’s the plain ones, though. Oh, it’s still good. Trust me. And can you believe the price is one freaking dollar? OH MY GOD! They did it again! Woo, all this talk about food done got me hungry. I’m going to Taco Bell to go get  about 10 of them thangs. Y’all want something back?

FADE OUT

The Controversial Remake Of The “Apparently” Kid’s Viral Video

Apparently Kid on his motorcycle

John Borowski, Noah Ritter’s grandfather, and Sofia Ojeda, the reporter that interviewed Noah at the Wayne County Fair are suing the creators behind a remake of the “Apparently Kid” viral video. In it, at the 37-second-mark, a little girl wearing a Peace shirt appears on camera saying “Hi” and tries to get the attention of the reporter. Just like in the real video. At the 47-second mark, a “Bruce Leroy glow” appears around the body of the child actor playing Noah Ritter. The little girl actor who has said “hi” 17 more times since then gets smacked out the way by the reporter, who yells, “Get a personality, bitch!” At the minute and 30-second mark, the actor playing Noah’s grandfather gets arrested. A team of FBI agents accuse him of kidnapping his grandson because of the “strange” behavior he displayed while the camera was on Noah. One of the FBI agents says, “Why did you keep tapping him on his shoulder, like let’s go? Why are you in such a rush? You don’t need the PowerBall. This video is about to go viral. You have to be a kidnapper for not letting him talk more.” After the FBI rushes the grandfather away, to the satisfaction of the fans who wanted to hear Noah talk more, the fantasy interview goes on for 3 minutes longer than the real one. The video had 326,433 views before it was removed on YouTube for violating their child abuse policy.

UPDATE: Sofia Ojeda has released a formal statement: “I have never abused a child like what was depicted of ‘me’ in  RntP8_e9ZvlO0oru63cbQ’s recreation video. Especially one I gave birth to. Yes, that little girl in the video with Noah was actually my daughter. If you listened closely, you could hear me call her honey. Why would I call someone else’s daughter that? Furthermore, to address people who’ve  said I ignored her, I will be giving her an interview asking about her experience at the fair then upload it to YouTube. She has tons of personality! Stay tuned!”

Built on top:

  • The attention-seeking little girl; the rushing of the grandfather

When you learn a new word do you try to incorporate it in your vocabulary by saying it often in sentences, even ones where it doesn’t make sense?

The Viral Video That Never Happened (But This Article Did!)

College building being demolished in Memphis
College building being demolished in Memphis

Waking up Tuesday morning to what he described as “a crumbling building in the movie Inception sound,” 27 years-young Hal McAuthor, walking to Walgreens, later that day, saw one of the nearby college towers being demolished by a wrecking ball. He had it. He called his best friend, Daniel Booker, over to his house. The idea was for one of them to jump the construction fence while the workers were on break, sneak on-site, climb the rubble to the top floor. Then a passerby (one of them), was to cellphone-record it and pretend someone was still trapped in the half-gone building. Things went smooth until Booker saw the construction workers coming back from lunch and called for McAuthor to come down. Somehow McAuthor’s foot got stuck in a door trying to escape. The cries for help were sincere this time. Exacerbating the situation was the workers having earbuds in. Worse of all … the wrecking ball driver. As Booker ran across the street, dodging traffic, to alert the crew, he dropped his phone. An elementary school bus steamrolled right over it. Relieved criminal trespassing and reckless endangerment charges wouldn’t be pursued, the 2 friends are disappointed their 52 second viral video was thrown under the bus. Hoping to redeem themselves, they’re hoping this article written about their misfortune goes viral. “Sharing rhymes with caring,” said, McAuthor.

Built on top of:
•Personal experiences

Happy Future Father’s Day

Did the author write a viral-worthy post?