Tag Archives: women

Monsters Under Bed

FADE IN

INT. SON’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

SON: Dad, can you spray monster under bed?

DAD: There’s no space under your bed. We cut the legs off remember?

SON: I’m talking about your bed. 

DAD: What?

SON: Yeah, before you here I hear mama fight someone.

DAD: Who?

SON: I don’t know. I knock on door to protect her. I love her and I was beat that monster up like Spider-Man.

DAD: Did you use the web shooter I bought you?

SON: Mama not let me in. She open door little and said everything ok but her hair messed up. I saw something move under bed. I don’t know.

DAD: Well, son, you don’t have to ever EVER worry about seeing anything move under our bed again ‘cause I’m about to go cut 9 legs off. 

SON: It 4. You don’t know how to count daddy haha.

FADE OUT 

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Fine M. Banker

 

 

FADE IN:

EXT./INT. REGIONS BANK – AFTERNOON

*An old man grabs the door handle of the bank*

SECURITY

Sir, you can’t go inside the bank wearing your hat and sunglasses.

OLD MAN

(removes hat and sunglasses) (walks into bank) (fills out deposit slip) (thinks to self) Who is that??? She is gorgeous! I have to get to her window. Ahhh, she wouldn’t want a guy like me, though. Big bald spot. How can I hide it? Hmm … (puts hat on). Then my cross-eyes. What can I do to cover them? Hmm … (puts sunglasses on). Ok, I’m ready.

BANK TELLER

 May I help the next person in line?

OLD MAN

(skips 8 people in line) That’ll be me, pretty woman! Ha!

BANK TELLER

(eyes widen) He’s finna rob the bank!

OLD MAN

Wheet?!?!

*The 8 people the old man jumped in front of tackle him to the ground*

PERSON 5

 I wanted to beat his ass for skipping me anyway. The light place about to close.

15 MINUTES LATER …

*Police escort the old man out the bank in handcuffs*

OLD MAN

Please don’t take me to jail. I wasn’t trying to rob the bank. You gotta believe me.

OFFICER

You tried to rob the wrong bank. Fool, what if my girlfriend got hurt?

OLD MAN

Who, who is your girlfriend?

OFFICER

(points at the pretty woman bank teller)

*Camera pans around the old man’s back showing his POV, revealing the officer’s old age, bald spot in the middle of his head, and cock-eyes.*

FADE TO BLACK

Judge Orders Man To ONLY Date Women Who Wear Hammer Pants After Skinny Jeans Defense Rape Acquittal

Image courtesy of Twitter
Image courtesy of Twitter

Content Warning: The following post contains a sensitive sexual topic that will seem like the author is being insensitive about if not read carefully.

“If she can’t breakdance in them, they are too tight,” said Sydney Australia judge Frank Tsoukatos to Michael Oinegue Gonzalez after 9 more women came forward with rape accusations.

In April 2008, the friend of Mr. Gonzalez’s ex-girlfriend was comforting him about his breakup. The two met for drinks before going to his Surry Hills house to listen to music. She told Sydney District Court they went upstairs to his room because he wanted to show off his drum set. Instead of playing, that’s when Mr. Gonzalez allegedly pushed her on his bed, pinning her down. “I struggled to get up for a while and … then he undid my jeans and … he pulled them off,” the woman said.

During the May 2010 trial, the jury of six men and six women sent a note to the judge asking, “How exactly Mick took off her jeans? We doubt those kind of jeans can be removed without any sort of collaboration,” the letter read. Consequently, the jury voted the sex was consensual.

Now 4 years later, nine more women have come forward accusing Gonzalez of rape. The women reported to police the assaults took place between November 2010 and March 2012. All after the original woman. 3 of the 9 claim Gonzalez repeatedly sexually assaulted them and despite taunts they were afraid to go to the police. “He was bragging about how he got away with it the first time and about how he could do it again. And I believed him. Based on my fashion preferences I knew I would have been scorned and ridiculed. That’s why I never told anybody about what happen,” said one of the women. The other 8 told similar stories about their taciturn.

So what gave them hope? A chatroom dedicated to sexual assault victims. “The more and more we talked and got into detail about what happened to us, our stories started to sound strangely familiar. Mick had the same MO. The drums,” said another woman. Realizing their strength in numbers, they walked into the police station holding hands with a new sense of hope.

Until the investigation into these nine women stories are conclusive and trial’s end-all of which could take up to 2 years like last time-Judge Tsoukatos ordered Gonzalez only to be seen in public with women wearing parachute pants. Judge Tsoukatos even went as far as bringing a television in the courtroom, showing Ciara’s music video for Promise, where she and other women dance around in baggy jogging suits as an example of what he meant. Judge Tsoukatos requested the public to call 911 immediately if they spot Gonzalez in public with a woman wearing skinny jeans and offered a $200 reward for doing so.

When court reporters asked Gonzalez what he thought of the judge’s ruling, he said, “CAN HE DO THIS?! Where the hell am I suppose to find a girl like that??? Even big girls wear tight clothes. Ugh! I might as well turn gay and date Mason Betha.”

Built on top of:

Rape of woman in skinny jeans ‘not possible’ (Sydney Morning Herald)

Jury acquits accused rapist because victim wore skinny jeans (Feministing)

Ms Me tweet

What do you think of the judge’s ruling

NASCAR and Triple A Fight Over The Hiring Of Serial Car Tire Slasher

Flat tire man

For most ex-convicts its tough finding a job upon release. Then there’s Yoshihito Harada, the 25-year-old Japanese man who was arrested for slashing the car tires of 1,000 women in the parking lots of supermarkets around Japan. While the women were in the stores, Harada used a screw driver to puncture their tires. Then he would come out of nowhere and “notice” their “predicament” BEFORE they did. Apparently suffering from Hero syndrome, Harada would then offer to fix their “flat.” While doing so, he would go for what he was really after: their phone number. “I recently got a flat and a man offered to change it for me,” said one victim of Harada’s scheme to her friend. The friend blurted,“The same thing happened to me!” Suspecting a scam, the women reported the matter to police who launched an investigation.

Reactions to this story has varied: Women find it creepy; men want to know how many numbers he got. But the most surprising reaction has been from Triple A and a pit crew at NASCAR, who see opportunity and the bright side of this situation. Both are reportedly in a bidding war over his employment after he gets out of the slammer. When both parties were asked why are they interested in Mr. Harada, they said the same thing, “After changing a thousand tires, he’s probably real skilled at it.” The NASCAR pit crew said they are pretty confident Harada will side with them because they have something AAA don’t: Danica Patrick. “Imagine how fast he will change those tires.”

Built on top of:

Do you think its right to look past what Harada did and reward him with a job?